what is the key to changing?

Question

here's the thing... u're used of being a someone then how do u become someone else?

Answer 1

The key to changing is getting burned. If who you are doesn't work and leaves you out in the cold, you might be able to change (see the two methods below) because who you are and what you do doesn't work.

But if you perceive that your personality works and gets you what you want, you won't change. PEOPLE NEVER GIVE UP A HABIT THAT WORKS. Never. Not ever.

1. You change because you've burned yourself -- someone you love can't stand you. No one will hire you. You are shocked by an unexpected betrayal.

2. This is VERY RARE. You change because your character is IDENTICAL to that of an actor in a movie or play or TV show playing a tragic part. When the actor's character crashes or dies or loses, you can't tell the difference between that person and yourself, because the two of you are identical. So the failure you watch being acted out burns out your own character flaw.

OK. Now what almost everyone is going to recommend to you is following a cookbook, read a book, cop an attitude, develop positive thinking, or become phony enough to succeed. This won't work because you won't really give up your habits because they haven't really crashed, and because you will spend so much time trying to be consistently phony that you will be in a daze.

Does this help?

Answer 2

First you have to think about what are the most important things in your life, then you have to think about what knd of person you'd like to be. After that, its one step at a time...in the end, you can't become someone totally different, you can just try to be the best version of you that you can be
good luck

Answer 3

One day at a time. You have to decide how you want to change and each time you slip just know you can begin again. Don't think of too far in the future, it is too overwhelming. Again, one day at a time. If people are tempting you - then change friends. Good luck.

Answer 4

That can be hard to do, unless your just trying to change for better. If your trying to become an asshole just so you can get the girls, thats the wrong approach.

Answer 5

its all within your self no one else can make you change. you are going to have to change with the inside out. think about your choices that make you become the person you want to become. little by little you become that person

Answer 6

think or act like who you want to be.....if this is being good with the ladies then find guys that are sucessful with women.....the saying is "surround yourself with who you want to be and you will become them". A saying I have cliched with my friends is "being sucessful with ladies is like being sucessful with money, its not how much you get but how much you can keep"

Answer 7

You can't change who you really are. However, you can improve some of your flaws...it's all mental! You have to make up your mind to change it...be precise on what you want to change than make a mental note to yourself everyday to improve what you want to change!!!

Answer 8

sticking to your changes its not easy good luck

Answer 9

LETTING GO

It is good to be a seeker, but sooner or later you have to be a finder. It is only then that you will be able to give the gift of yourself to someone in the world who is willing to accept it. If you are trying to change or accept anything about yourself or your life, the best place to start is to learn the art of letting go. You will need this skill every day of your life, so learn and practice; practice and learn.

Learning how to let go is the beginning of knowledge. Wisdom is found in the actual act of letting go. If you argue with that statement, think back to all the times you tried to let go and failed. Each time you failed, you learned something. When you finally made it, you were wiser, weren't you? You could know everything there is to know about letting go, but until you do something until you act on knowledge it is useless. Knowledge is learning how to let go, wisdom comes after you have done it.

This is a little story about letting go and gaining strength. I have personally referred back to this story many times over the years and it has carried me through what could have been more painful and difficult situations and relationships in my life.

Human nature can be a funny thing sometimes. You and I are so different, yet so much alike. I think sometimes you wonder if I really understand the things that you feel or are going through. YES, I've been there, usually out of fear, need or greed, nonetheless... I've been there. I have done exactly what you are doing. Like you, I usually had to be pushed out or have it become so unbearably painful that I have no other choice, then I would let go.

I am often reminded of how a Gulf Coast Blue Crab grows. When it outgrows its present shell, it has to shed this old shell and grow a new one. IT HAS TO LET GO COMPLETELY, hold on to absolutely nothing all the way down to its fingers and claws. It has to let go of the struggle itself.

But can you imagine having a choice in this situation? I am afraid I would want to hang on to the old comfortable shell until the end...wouldn't you? Just think of yourself, knowing that to live, you have to let go of your comfort. familiarity and protection. But also knowing that to stay in the old shell would limit you so to the point that eventually you would suffocate and die.

Growth for the crab is very difficult. It has to risk shedding its old familiar shell, become a soft crab again and be vulnerable. To survive, it has to go to the bottom, go into the mud and be associated with other crabs also on the bottom. The surviving crab must learn to have faith that its shell will become firmer and larger each hour. It develops a faith in its pain while it is growing and maturing and learns to believe that it will be prepared for what is currently unknown to it.

For me, letting go is an ongoing process. I don't know why it is so difficult to let go, until I begin to hold on to something or someone again. I not only hold on to people, places or things, I hold on to beliefs; beliefs that worked for years but are no longer useful to me.

The crab story helps me understand that for the rest of my life I will be growing and like it or not, there with be changes taking place and with these changes there might be pain. What surprises me is that I can sometimes let go and experience the feelings with excited about what is in the future for me.

Sometimes I can't wait to shed my shell, learn what I need to learn and get the old shell behind me. I hope that you can relate to some of this. When someone is trying to shed their shell, they are also trying to grow. If you don't let go, you may one day find yourself holding on to an empty, dying old shell. When we cling on to someone else, we slow him or her down and ourselves as well. To let go of another person, you must have no suggestions for them whatsoever; no arguments; no "if you would only"; no "someday you will"; no "nothing!" You have no advice for him/her, nothing more to teach or learn from this person. Remember, any struggle, any
"you ought to‘s" any "you shoulds" any "anything" will keep you both where you are right now... struggling to get out of a shell that no longer fits. You have no solutions for anyone else at this moment in time. This is about YOU and YOUR growth.

We simply must shed our own shells and grow. Remember, down to the ends of your fingers and claws, you must release any thought of holding on. Just think of letting go, growing stronger moving on with your life and experiencing what the world has waiting for you. You may let go just so much, feel the fear of the unknown and want to cling on more than ever before. Not so, this is your time to grow and be strong. Remember, you have no suggestions on when and how someone else should shed their shells and grow. This is about YOU and YOUR growth.

When you finally let go or get kicked off enough times, you will go through the pain and begin growing your bright, clean, beautiful, new larger shell. This time you will be free. Free enough to swim wherever you choose, with knowledge enough to guide you there. You will have a shell large enough to feel confident in yourself and to grow within. You will be so beautiful that others will ask you how you got that way. They will want to learn from you how to let go of their old shells that have become too small to live in so that they too can grow and experience a wonderful life.

An important thing to remember and think about, just to keep you humble. One day you will outgrow this beautiful new shell. However, each time you have outgrown a shell, you will go through some pain, but it will never be as difficult or as painful as the first time.

I PROMISE.

Answer 10

change your birth certificate...