I'm 19 and I desperatly need to get away from home. My family has seriously pushed me over the edge and I can't stomache to be around them. I would leave but I have no where to go, no job, and I am a full time college student (commuter) and I don't want to screw up school. If I don't get away I am going to go insane but I don't want to mess up my future. What are some of my options?
2007-02-16 14:15:42 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Well for starters my family suffers from mental illness. How can I explain this? They are a very controlling family. They want me to be a certain way, I'm not allowed to have friends. Any friends that I do have, they harrass them. If someone doesn't conform to their beliefs, then they are considered to be "low life". If I do what I want to do and not what my family says I should do, then a huge blow out happens and I get degraded and accused of wanting to throw my life away. My sister just got her own place and now they are harrassing her claiming that she is throwing her life away, when alls she really wanted was to get away from them. I mean it's hard, I'm torn because I love them but in the same sense they won't let me breath. I'm not allowed to leave the house unless I have someone with my at ALL times! Even just to go pick up groceries! They say they don't want something to happen to me and that it's for my best interest.
2007-02-16 14:55:49 · update #1
I understand that there are crazy people out there, but there is a point where you need to draw the line.They believe the best life is sitting in the house hidden from the world. it's really hard because they help me out financially but this is the price I have to pay. So then if I speak up to them I feel guilty inside because my parents have sacraficed a lot for my family. That's why I just want to move away and not have any hard feelings between my family. I just want to have a life to call my own, but they can't seem to understand that. So then I get to the point where I lash out and then I seem like the bad guy. They even go as far as trying to control my friends lives.
2007-02-16 15:01:20 · update #2
Try to get together w/ 2 or 3 other guys to room with, rent will be so much cheaper! Of course you will have to get at least a part time job, maybe waiting tables or at a local mall- with so many retail stores, restaurants and movie theaters im pretty sure you will find something.
Also, since you are over the age of 18 and low income you should contact the local housing authority in your city or city you will like to move and find out if they are taking any applications for their housing assistance program.. If accepted the state will help you pay for rent; the assistance will depend on your income- Usually the applicant will be responsible for 30% to 40% of the rent and the difference will be paid to the landlord by the state.
2007-02-16 14:20:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't say in your question whether or not you, yourself are struggling with mental illness. So I'll assume that you have no significant disabilities.
You have to find a job and get out of there! If it is really as extreme as you say, it is no good staying there even if you're getting financial help. You're just getting more mental damage from your family situation. If you can't go to school for a half year because you're getting your affairs in order, then so be it. A lot of college students get no help from their family whatsoever and you will be another one of those. You can do it!! It will add another year onto your degree, I suppose, but you will have a lot of extra pride, and more employers on your resume when you look for your first professional job.
There seemed to be lots of practical advice on here already on what college resources are available.
To tell you my own story (I am now 42) I grew up in an incest family and stayed at home to go to college, and was under constant threat (but unaware how threatened I felt, because I was used to it) even though I wasn't being abused anymore. I started to get a lot better psychologically when I moved out and finished college at another school. Then i moved out of state and got better yet, and now, even though I did get disabled from bipolar disorder, unfortunately, at least psychologically I really have my act together and don't have a lot of trouble with my family. I just let their issues pass in one ear and out the other. Mostly, anyhow. One of my sisters never moved out. The other moved home again. They are both older than me, and way more messed up. You have to get out!
2007-02-16 15:15:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee I seen that many times in my life.. They don't go away as fast as I'd like.. I turned Bi-polar before I was 19, And it's not my fault .. I did not know that then.. But all depends on your family and what they are doing to you.. Being full time as a college student can't be any helpful.. Stress is not good for those who have to get stuff done.. Since you never said what your family is doing to you.. I don't think I have an answer for you...
What does your family want from you anyways??
2007-02-16 14:29:41 · answer #3 · answered by MinnesotaRick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if they have emmergency housing applications at your campus.
Speak to your counselor when I was in a bind, my Dean found a scholarship that helped me stay in school. (I just needed a car)
Also the alumni asociation, your church,Temple etc..
Also, In some states the department of children and family services helps College students up to the age of 26.
They put my brother in a transitional housing program and taught him how to take care of himself. (pay bills, get a job etc) and he had a nice place and only 1 roommate.
He was out with in a year, on his own now with a good job.
Good luck! what ever you don't don't stop going to school the best time to go is when you are poor (most states will pay for it) and it's they only way out of the cycle of poverty. (I am not saying you are poor but, you might be once you leave your family)
Once you are on your own you can make your own values and morals and once those are certain, it MAY be easier to interact with your family or, It may be easier to let them go.
2007-02-16 14:45:42 · answer #4 · answered by Oddie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You really need to get a job. You would not be the first person in the world to hold down a full time job and school full time, it's very possible, though not the best for your social life, if you need to keep yourself sain that bad, get a job and move out.
2007-02-16 14:23:37 · answer #5 · answered by Malone 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, get a job. Even if you have to cut back to part time school. Find a job and then look for a room mate closer to school. At school they often have bulletin boards advertising people looking for house mates, a job would be essential though. So, what if it takes a little longer to get through school, at least you'll still have your sanity.
Also depending on your level of desperation you could join the military or go on some kind of mission (church thing).
2007-02-16 14:21:07 · answer #6 · answered by mel x 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They probably meant not in any respect take a piercing gun on your human being ear. Claire's has pierced tens of millions of ears, so if there replaced right into a situation with the way they did it, you may want to in all danger study it.
2016-11-03 21:38:32 · answer #7 · answered by barn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thnk a good option would be to rent another place or maybe you can move in with one of your friends
2007-02-16 14:22:47 · answer #8 · answered by ☺collia☺ PaRtY LiKe tInKeRbElL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not in danger or being abused you should seek counselling from your school. They can help with these issues. If you are in danger or being abused you should contact a women's shelter.
2007-02-16 14:23:08 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about moving in with a friend.
2007-02-16 14:19:13 · answer #10 · answered by Angela F 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋