im so quiet and i dont know why,help me become outgoing and loud i need advice?

Question

im so quiet i really have nothing to say when anybody is like hi to me...i take things to seriosly....i can never carry a conversation no matter how much i try....lots people say ilook depressed and i kind of feel that way too i really dont have any friends...im afraid of getting judged...you can tell when im nervous because of my body movement...dont tell me to go to clubs or sports and stuff i wanna learn how to talk to people!.....i keep thinking im a boring person,although i am exellent at sports...i am very uncomferteble around people....people aLWAYS point out i am quiet and it fustrates me SSOOOOOO much....im a push over.....i keep losing focus of school and school projects because of my extreme quiet problem...im even quiet to the very few friends i have
i think they wanna be around other people because i am too quiet and boring like a library....Nope i know im not ugly in fact tons of people think im quite pretty but that really doesnt matter id rather trade being outgoing

haha my name is cristina...awesome lol

im in middle school

Answer 1

YOU need to understand that to learn to overcome being quiet and reserved.....you have to force yourself to do things you normally don't do. You say that you don't want to join clubs or sports, yet that is the most important first step. Lean into the fear. Do you yell or shout at sporting events? Try it. It is easier to learn your voice in the safety of numbers. Loosen up in little steps.

You want the surefire way to move forward?

Find a role model. Study a person who has what you want. Really study them. What do they do? If you were in their shoes would you do that? Why not? They did it, didn't they? Your role model just walked up to a stranger and introduced herself. Would you do that? Why not? Did she get hurt? Did she get rejected? You try it. Keep watching your role model and try and mimic her behavior.

Next: Find a mentor . Find your new best friend. Make yourself be a friend to someone. You've been going it alone for too long. Find the class clown....the class clutz....someone who gets attention whether they want to or not. Find out how they survive the smiles and snickers. Pal with them. Buy her a coke. This is another way to view the other half of the world.

Keep taking steps forward. If the teacher looks like they need help, volunteer. Move away from your comfort zone in little steps.

Look for small opportunities to be the one to speak first without a problem. You see a little old lady flustered in the supermarket or in the school hallway: "You look like you need some help. Is there anything I can do?"

Part of being outgoing is also charm and poise. Anyone can be loud and outrageous. You say you have a few friends. Many of us go through life with only one good friend. In the case of friendship quality beats out quantity every time!

You only have to move out of your shell a little to make a difference.

Good Luck

CF

Answer 2

Why talk a lot if you really do not wish to do so? If you are a quiet person because that is the way you feel most comfortable, you could become a good listener more quickly than your talkative friends. It is better to have a few true friends who accept you for who you really are than many false friends who are looking to socialize with someone pretending to be someone she is not. Most people cannot put on a fake identity for very long, anyway.
Try to relax more around your friends and to become genuinely interested in their conversations and activities you truly enjoy.
When there is something you really want to say, you will overcome the need to keep quiet and say it. Accept your own personality and others will accept you too. The people who will not accept you do not matter. Life is too short to trade your own, unique personality for someone elses! Best wishes.

Answer 3

Uh... Here's something that should be taught in school, but rarely is: be yourself. Really. But when people say "Hi" to you, build on that and reply, "Hi, how are you?" See, look at it like an engineer would: build a bridge from both sides. That gets the communication going, and from there it's actually easy. I used to be uncomfortable around others, too; I eventually developed enough confidence to stand on my own and carry my end of a conversation. I looked at it objectively, and realized that I was doing it wrong; boom, that was all it took. Watch other people do it, and then practice. It's not an inherent weakness, it's something you can actually fix, you know? So give it a try.

Answer 4

I would like to quote Jane Austin on this one, " 'I do not have the experience or skill required to hold great repute among society through my speech' said Mr. Darcey. "Well, I do not play this piano as well as I would like to; however, I blame only myself because I do not take the time to practice' " Translated, that means that you can't be "taught" how to talk to people, you have to practice and learn through experience. Also, there are no hard rules to conversation, you must adjust to people based on their conversational preferences. Try hanging out with some people that are very talkative and think about the topics they talk about, how they hold a conversation, and maybe try to get into the conversation when you feel comfortable. Sometimes you will run into people that like to talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and then your only job is to listen; however, some people, like you, find conversation difficult so you must help keep the conversation going. It often helps to have conversations in groups of three or more because that allows you to "handoff" as Seinfeld puts it. Just remember: You don't always have to be talkative, sometimes silence is better for whatever reason. Don't be afraid to speak your mind and tell people what you think and people will start enjoy talking to you because you may bring something new and different to the conversation. My answer: Listen, Learn, Apply.

Answer 5

The way to become more outgoing is to be comfortable around people and learn how to talk to them. I know that can be hard when you don't know what to say! It's really easy once you have self confidence in yourself and in your abilities. Start off small. Say hi to everyone you know so you are approachable! Smile! that's important and look like you are having a good time! You have to think in your head what you can talk about. Usually, at school you can talk about friends, classes, or grades. Anything! What songs you are listening to...what you are doing after school. Just think of something and don't just sit there and look bored because people will think you don't like them or are stuck up! I have a friend who is really shy. She won't talk to anyone unless they talk to her first and she can't carry on simple conversations! Knowing what to talk about is an art! I suggest reading and being informed. I always find something in common with people and talk about that! The best advice is to smile, laugh, and get over the whole shy thing! Tell yourself that you are not afraid of talking to people! You can't get over that fear unless you practice talking to people on a daily basis. Whether it be your mailman or someone in line at the grocery store. Try it...practice makes perfect! Don't let being shy hold you back from making friends or doing what you want in life. You can do it! Good luck! Find someone in your class that is outgoing and pay attention to how they act and carry themselves. Outgoing people tend to have self confidence and don't care about what others think of them. Also, they enjoy talking to people!

Answer 6

Well just practice in front of a mirror and go from there. ALl you have to remember is that who care's what people think about you and be yourself and soon enough you will come out of your shell. SO don't worry and just next time someone is around just say" Hello how's it going" AND also try to read magazines, and books and newspaper and read alot and then you will have lots to talk about. SO read up and be yourself and you can be whatever you want. Want to chat more just IM me anytime

Answer 7

I have this problem too. What you have to do is force yourself to look people in the eye, smile, and talk to them. Start with making eye contact and smiling with lets say, five people a day. Then, have a converstaion with two people that you aren't really good friends with a day. You have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to become comfortable with them. It is hard, I know. But you have to set goals for yourself, and just get over it. That's the only way.

Answer 8

Ha Me too i cant carry a convo either thats why i decided to take guitar class, well considering im the "emo" kid at school im also quiet and you make it sound like as if the person you are in high school is going to determine who you are the rest of your life, and if they judge ok let them as long as you know the truth about your self.
just in case you needs a friend [e-mail] or [e-mail]

Answer 9

well, i know how u feel i used to be quiet and shy before too.people used to always point it out always even teachers but mostly classmates.i made a big change and u need to make one too you have to be more out going and answer back when somebody says something or just think of something that u may think is funny or crazy or just u find intresting and share it with somebody.belive in yourself and try you may even make new friend. feel free to answer back and remember to be more out going. ma email is: [e-mail]

Answer 10

wow you just described my childhood..lol... its about self esteem... I started off making one GOOD friend, hang out, go shopping,talk on phone.. but make sure shes a fun person to be with.. I sorta grew out of the shyness with age... but at times I still get that way around people I hardly dont know... dont try to change so much to where your not you... just make small changes daily....im so sure u will outgrow it... oh and dont try alcohol or drugs it will make you change for the worse not for the better... be happy with who you.