Why all the hate for spanking?

Question

I just don't get it and I'm a liberal Democrat. Childrens' brains do not develop fully until late teen years. That's a scientific fact. Sometimes a quicker way to get to the problem is through a different area. My children are both straight A students. If they get in trouble (rare) they get spanked. I'm a pretty liberal blogger but on this issue I go across party lines.

So let's bring it on.

Answer 1

I'm with you. And otherwise I am pretty much an easy going "liberal" parent.

My thing is that I think spanking is the most effective punishment. On the other hand I don't believe in punishment for everything. I think most of the time--a talking, a warning, even reason is enough.

But if mine need to be disciplined they are spanked.--and *aghast*--that is almost always with the insulation removed from that part of the body you mention--just to make sure the message connects real well.

We don't do timeouts, loss of privileges, etc.

So, though mine are punished less than most kids they are spanked more.

You are not alone. I do believe a lot of younger parents are spanking more--we are just sick of all the brats--and the Nanny 911, etc. Nonsense.

Like with you--my results are impressive--as they are in every single case I know of where parents have spanked and done it properly.\

Believe it or not the good scientific research actually supports our position (despite what you hear in the media and from the pop psychologists) that is causes no harm AND is the most effective way to get kids to comply with their parents wishes. I blogged about this on my Yahoo 360 blog (I have not had nerve enough to post it on my regular blog since I know I will get soundly slammed)--anyway--my discussion is at:http://blog.360.yahoo.com/blog-GgIFACYzfqWx8YwvtspSWVmWzA--?cq=1&p=793

Answer 2

I'm not totally against spankings but think they should be used as a last resort. Babies , of course, should never be spanked. Many people slap their hands when they are meddling instead of removing the object of interest or removing the child from the area and distracting them with another object. Personally, I like the idea of making the punishment fit the "crime" with older children. But now and then it seems like the only attention getter is a good ole fashion butt whipping. And its much more effective if it isn't done often! And I don't feel that a strike to the bottom is abuse if done to discipline and not out of anger.

Answer 3

There is nothing wrong with spanking and lots of things right with it - even through the teen years. Spanking sends a clear message that the child's misbehavior will not be tolerated and that there are unpleasant consequences for misbehavior.

Spanking is nothing more than a tool for a parent to use. It shouldn't be the only tool. Far more important than any spanking are things like: hugs, praise, attention, pats on the back, guidance, etc.

Answer 4

I am a spanker and a spankee.
The only discipline when I was growing up was spanking. I think the punishment should have fit the deed. Sometimes the punishment would have been spanking sometimes it would have been something else. I had serious issues about this as an adult before I had a kid. I had to go to lots of counseling and have lots of very long talks with my dad about it before I got over it.
I spank my child with an if/then warning (if you do this, then you will get a spanking) but I also use time out and take away toys/privleges, sometimes I let him get a taste of the real world for his discipline (like when he swings a rope and hits himself in the eye then he knows it hurts-me telling him 50 times didn't do the trick) this is also called "natural consequences".
I think it is all about balance.

Answer 5

Spanking is good-for certain kids under certain situations. It should be a last resort. And remember, once a kid hits a certain age spanking doesnt work anymore. Spanking should be about getting the kids attention when they are messing up and installing a sense of right and wrong through fear, not about getting even or taking your anger out on the child.
In my opinion there is nothing wrong with giving little johnny a quick tap on the bottom when he refuses to listen in public. Nothing worse and nothing gets no my nerves more than to see some out of control brat running around like a madman while his mom keeps warning him with "time out" and the kid just laughing about it.

Answer 6

my tot doesnt listen to everything i say, hes only 13 months! I wouldnt spank him no matter what he's a baby! The point of the question I asked was do more people spank and (personally I am starting to think more people spank than will admit it in real life because when we talk about this stuff among friends and family oh of course no one ever spanks thats barbaric!) but on yahoo look how many people said they do!
I feel very conflicted about my son, I love him so very much and he is so sweet and kind that I can't ever imagine him being so bad I NEED to spank him. My point was that I feel a new sympathy for the parents of misbehaving kids! Its so easy to say they should get those kids under control, but now I'm a mom and I can kinda see where "bad" is in the eye of the beholder. My son shrieks all the time, happy, sad, excited, hungry whatever some babies just scream and shriek when they learn how to make that noise its hard to get them to stop. whats cute at home is embarassing in a restaurant. so some would say i should keep him home until he outgrows it. i say Jeez its just a noise I take him with me wherever I go and he is a good boy (for 13 months) but some people give me dirty looks and some smile and talk back to him or tell me how cute he is "wow look at all that blonde curly hair" while he screams like they dont even notice it! those are people who have children. The bad looks are coming from people who think he is misbehaving. they say to themselves get that kid to shut up! I try to do what i can but im so used to the sharp noises and bangs from his cup that I dont really think its bad! See, I see him through mommy eyes and I think hes good. I could never spank him. I will teach him to be good. He will learn in his time, until then the world should just try to let kids be kids and not be so judgemental!

Answer 7

lol you took the words right out of my mouth!!! I completely 100% agree with you, when I was little I was spanked what maybe 3 times and I got the picture, my mom always tells me that we were so good and when we would go into resturants other moms would come up and say you're kids are so well behaved. Me, my brother, and sister all are good, and get good grades, I swear I look at parents these days and I'm discusted how their kids take advantage of them screaming in the halls of the supermarket for a lollipop, and of course they give in uugghh what's wrong with societey these days..?? I mean really when I have a family I want to do what my parents did.. oh yeah and as I'm editing this I also completely agree with all the girl above me said, and how her mom just gave her "the glare" and she knew, so did my mom

Answer 8

All spanking teaches a child is that it is acceptable to use violence to solve a problem. It is better to take away things they enjoy like computer use or a radio, tv time.

At AIT (Military training) they would let people smoke and have eletronics so that if you didn't do what they wanted they had something to take away from you. The military has gotten away from the use of violence in training. It really serves no purpose and can lead to child abuse.
Remember when you are angry you may not know your own strength or limits!
Remember the son Hell is for Children by Pat Benatar. Good song about a bad subject!

Answer 9

i'm into consensual grownup spanking quite often for actual discipline. i myself do unlike giving, and that i hate getting, yet i admire the outcomes. Disciplinary spanking relieves emotions of guilt, improves concentration, and is super motivation to do greater valuable sooner or later.

Answer 10

well you sound like you want to have a huge battle here lol---i did spank my children only if they for instance ran from me in a parking lot--i didn't use it as my #1 punishment although i must admit in my field of work i do i have seen many kids beaten badly!!!!theres a huge difference here--some people don't have the control to STOP ONCE THEY START so it has to be a planned process b4 the child is of age to get a crack on the fanny---timeouts work well and so does taking toys away and making them earn them back--so yes i think the saying spare the rod spoil the child still has meaning there are times they need to know who's boss-but as parents be it whatever political party you are with be prepared to know what you and your husband have planned to do ty for your question and i vote for the person not the party