should I be angry?

Question

ok basis of the story is that i have an eating disorder and I finally built up the strength to tell my mum about 6-8 months ago..her reaction was terrible...calling me a failure etc and she hasn't dealt with it too well since. I askedher not to tell the rest of the family. I begged her infact..and she said she wouldn't (we used to be very close)...today i opened my bedroom door and heard my mum talking to my dad about me, in a pretty nasty tone about my eating disorder and I am pretty sure she said something about my brother knowing....I feel/felt sooo betrayed, I don't think i can ever trust her again. She doesn't know I heard her and I don't want to confront her because then if my dad or brother know that I know about them, they may start questioning me and I'm not up for that!

I know many of you will reply or at least think that she was only worried about me but the way she talks about it, she doesn't understand and I tried so hard to talk to her about it when i first told her!

also would like to add im 20 (just) and my dr told me i would grow out of it!!

Answer 1

You have every right as she betrayed you. She isn't being compassionate either. Your disorder isn't your fault but it is your responsibility.

You may not be strong enough right now to confront anyone, especially your mom so concentrate on getting supportive help. if you aren't ready for a doctor, try a support group. They will understand because they've been there.

You deserve love and support and if you don't get help this could kill you.

Mom doesn't get it and her behavior is inappropriate if you've reported it accurately.

Remember, you may also be especially sensative right now so instead of deciding what her behavior means, get healthy and then deal with mom.
God Bless as this is a tough one.

Answer 2

Eating disorders often are long-term illnesses that may require long-term treatment. In addition, eating disorders frequently occur with other mental disorders such as depression, substance abuse, and anxiety disorders. The earlier these disorders are diagnosed and treated, the better the chances are for full recovery. This fact sheet identifies the common signs, symptoms, and treatment for three of the most common eating disorders: anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge-eating disorder.
Research shows that more than 90 percent of those who have eating disorders are women between the ages of 12 and 25. However, increasing numbers of older women and men have these disorders. In addition, hundreds of thousands of boys are affected by these disorders .
The focus of treatment for eating disorders is helping kids cope with their disordered eating behaviors and thinking and establish new patterns of thinking about and approaching food.

Treatment can include medical supervision, nutritional counseling, and therapy. The professionals try to address a child's perception about his or her body size, shape, eating, and foods. Kids who are severely malnourished may require hospitalization and ongoing care after their medical condition is stabilized.

Generally, the earlier the intervention, the shorter the treatment that's required. If a parent can discover an eating disorder before malnutrition or continual binge-purge cycles occur, the duration of treatment is shorter.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Being angry at your mom is going to be a natural reaction. You should feel angry because you intrusted this unto your mother and she promised she wouldn't tell the rest of the family. Maybe you should sit down and have a talk with her. Tell her that you over heard her talking to your dad, and that made you pretty upset. She shouldn't have called you a failure, and if she hasn't gotten you some kind of help yet, it's a form of child endangerment. If you need help, explain to her that you need help, and if she doesn't listen, go to the E.R, and they will call your mom. Then maybe she will get it in her head that you need help. Good Luck, stay safe!

Answer 4

You have every right to be angry, she betrayed your trust and failed to support you. I think you need to telk to someone ask your dr to refer you maybe counselling is a good idea, and if you get your mum involved as well maybe some sessiona will help her to understand what you are going through, and help her to be more supportive.
Although she's called you a failure deep down she probably feels like a failure as a mother herself and may just be lashing out as doesn't know what else to do.
Admitting you have a problem is a very big important tep forward don't let her force you back a step by making you feel like this. Good luck and hope it all works out, you are very brave to admit this problem, this shows strength of character you and your mother should be proud of you. Steph x

Answer 5

Even if you think your mother is not trying to help you, you might be wrong.
There could be some good in this situation, if your family knows about your problem they can help you better. Talking about your problems helps... kind of like writing this message on yahoo, you are reaching out and talking about your problem with your mother,
maybe trying the same with your eating disorder might also help, the next step is to talk about it not with strangers on yahoo, but with people you know and that are closest to you.... your family.

by the way, if you are 20 I think you should be able to realize what parents do for their children and appreciate it, unfortunately there are those parents that do the exact opposite. I don't know your real situation with your family, but if talking with them does not work try some one else, a school counselor or a friend.
good luck

Answer 6

You have every right to feel betrayed and disappointed. After all, a parent should be there to help you instead of belittle you. I would let your mother know that you are aware of her inability to keep your secret and help you with your ordeal. She believes you are a failure, she is a failure as a parent. I would let her know you can no longer trust her and you feel betrayed by her action. Tell her how you confided in her because you thought of all people, you should be able to trust a parent, especially one whom you thought was close to you. Bottom line, let it out. Do not hold back how you feel. Holding in your anger and feelings will only lead to a habit of this and make matters worse in the future. Allowing yourself to express your feelings will help you resolve your problems and avoid stressful times, which keeping it bottled in will do. In the mean time, talk to a school counselor or someone else you can trust to get you help with your problem.

Answer 7

Yes you should. Your mum should be the one person that you can trust. Calling you a failure is extremely mean. She should be supporting you and help you get the help that you really do need. Go to see your GP and get the help you need to turn this around. It has serious implications on your health. Please do something soon. Maybe as she has told your father, he might be the one to turn to, you never know he could be more understanding than you think. Good luck, and you are not a failure.

Answer 8

She probly just needed someone to talk to about it, and she might not understand. alot of things have changed since she was young..like eating disorders and and the gays coming out. She might not know how to handle the news. Possibly trying to get ideas from family on what to do. You recognized the problem of your eating disorder now it's time to face it and get past it. If your family asks you questions it may help you get past the disorder.

Answer 9

You have a right to be angry, but all parents do this, especially when they speak to each other (meaning: mom and dad). But your mom is dealing with it in her own way, and it's not good what she's doing. You both need to sit down and talk so that you can start on getting some help. Good luck.

Answer 10

i can honestly say that your mom is not being understanding!! If i were you i would be very angry!! you don't have to answer any questions you don't want to. you might want to look into talking to someone professionally... that way u can talk to them and tell them everything without any questions and judging. i wish you the best of luck and strength to help you fight your eating disorder...