My wife and i have been arguing about this point for a while. I told her BEFORE we got married i want at least 2 kids. But now that we have a had one child she tells me she doesnt want any more and that i am just S.O.L
I asked her hypothetically what she would say if i told her i wanted a divorce if she didnt have any more kids.
I KNOW THAT WAS THE WRONG WAY TO GO ABOUT IT!!! (hindsight 20/20 :p )
I understand its my wifes body but if she felt that strongly she should have objected when i told her before we got married ( I wouldnt have married her if she said she didnt want at least 2 kids)
I feel that its unfair for her to try and change her mind now.
so what does everyone else think? Am i wrong for wanting more children?
2007-02-16 12:35:59 · 7 answers · asked by soldiermedic23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
maybe she didn't realise that she felt that way so she may not have been misleading you, people sometimes re-evaluate the amount of kids they want after they have actually had one.
My cousin for example wanted at least three kids, she's had one and is quite happy with just the one. Its up to the individual and you can't force her to want one, you may wear her down to agreeing to have another one but if she doesn't want more children, she may end up resenting you and you will lose the relationship anyhow so basically, you have to decide what is more important to you, your relationship or desire to have kids.
2007-02-16 16:53:06 · answer #1 · answered by OziGirl_222 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She really dropped a bomb on you it sound like your wife is being kind of selfish if you explained this to her b4 you guys got married and she agreed then thats not right of her to deprive you of the child that you wanted. There isn't much that you can do though if she doesn't want to have another one then that might be the end of it. Im an only child and the prospect of being alone after your parents die is pretty grim maybe you can explain that to her. Kids without siblings also have problems socializing and making friends. Maybe reality will hit her and she will realize what she is doing to you and the kid you already have. But if you do decide to use my suggestion then don't make her feel 2 guilty you don't want her to give in just because of guilt that might be something you and her will regret.
2007-02-16 22:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by nobody 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not wrong for wanting more children. However if you would have not married her b/c she didn't want 2 kids then you probably shouldn't have married her. Your love for your wife has to become before your kids. Talk it out with her, but if she doesn't want kids you should be able to be happy and love her with out another child.
2007-02-16 20:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by I'm here for now 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would go with her feelings/wishes. Continue to provide her with attention and love - that's all a woman really needs. It's easy to make a kid but it's a lot of sacrifice and hard work to raise the kid the "right" way. And she's the one who usually has to bear the brunt of motherhood (in most ways). I have one (grown up now) too - and I can tell you, one is MORE THAN ENOUGH !
2007-02-16 20:57:33 · answer #4 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe when she was pregant with your first it wasn't that great for her. Yes, it is her body and she might feel overwelm with just one child. Or maybe think other ways of having another child.
2007-02-16 21:06:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not wrong. my husband and i planed on having around 3 or 4. but after our first he said he did not want any i have been trying so hard, and he finally said one more. just keep trying. good luck
2007-02-16 22:01:02 · answer #6 · answered by taby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes
2007-02-18 23:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by Blenderhead 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋