my 21 month baby old jealousy?

Question

i just want to ask about dealing with my 21 month baby boy jealousy from his 7 month brother every day is getting worse then the day before ... he waits for any moment i turn my head away from them and he will hit his brother on his face or pull his hand..

i am trying to talk to him and explane that what he does is wrong coz i am scared that if i was tough with him this will make him more aggressive with his brother.

please help

Answer 1

I would give him lots of praise when he's being kind to the baby. It could be the littlest thing but tell what a good boy he is, etc.. and make a big deal out of it. Toddlers love this kind of attention and will seek it out.

Answer 2

This is normal behavior so don't go assuming he's a sociopath or something. As for the behaviors and the jealousy, he feels these things for a reason and his feelings deserve respect. Acknowledge what he is feeling and why and understand him. Undertanding his feelings does not excuse his behavior. That baby is getting praise for things he can do too, he doesn't remember getting that praise. Be quick to comfort the victim, always rush to the baby with a quick kiss first before you talk to the older boy. Then tell him that it hurts the baby etc. The most important thing you can do is prevention. Every time you kiss one kid, kiss the other. Try to give your older son an extra hug and kiss whenever you think of it and make a special time to play just with him everyday. Do the same for your younger too. I have two boys they are now 4 and 21mos. I was the oldest of three daughters and I can tell you that in just a few months the rules will change. There is no such thing as an innocent sibling (right now at 7mos the baby isn't pushing his brother but he will soon). They will be tension anytime one of them gets attention. Sometimes they will pick fights just for the attention or because they are bored. Don't get in the habit of assuming that the little one is innocent, give the older one a chance to be heard. My little sister spent three years hitting me and screaming until my mom caught her at it.

Answer 3

Try giving the older boy quality time too. Perhaps he could take a more active role in helping with the baby? This might make him feel like he is important too, and not resent his little brother. He will outgrow the jealousy. Just let him know you need his help with his brother and praise him for everything he does to help, regardless of how small a thing it is. He is probably feeling left out because we all know the new baby gets more attention; attention that he always got before.

Answer 4

Hello. I don't have kids myself but I've been babysitting for 10 years. I've seen this my entire life and what I would recommend is to pay attention to them both equally and play with them together - do activities with both of them at the same time. Don't yell at the older one but calmly explain to him that he can't do those things or give him little time outs (I'm talking like 2 minutes where he can't play with anything or watch tv). He will understand more as he gets older and trust me, this won't last forever. Just don't favor one over the other - some parents do without realizing it. Love and kiss and hug the older one more often also.

Answer 5

Yup he is jealous alright. Try and spend as much time w him w/out the baby as you can. No child is happy when their "replacement" comes along and thats how it feels to them even though its not the case. When thier father is home have some special time that just for him and praise the **** out of him whenever he does something nice for the baby. It may time a lot of time before this improves.

Answer 6

DO U TREAT HIM DIFFERENTLY???? R U GIVING HIM LESS ATTENTION???? TRY THIS EVERY TIME THE 7 MONTH OLS IS SLEEPING TRY SPENDING TIME WITH UR 21 MONTH OLD PLAY WITH HIM AND TALK TO HIM EVENTUALLY HE WILL GET IT AND WHEN U PLAY WITH UR 7MONTH OLD TRY TO PLAY WITH HIM AS WELL

I HOPE THAT HELPS