I met a guy and we struck up a friendly conversation and talked for quite a while. We discovered that we went to the same school. After awhile he had to go home and he said that he would see me around. I said "nice meeting you!" and gave him a hug. Do you think this might have seemed too forward? I'm used to hugging people but do you think some people might be offended by this?
2007-02-16 11:39:17 · 16 answers · asked by turan21 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I hope so I've done it a million times.
2007-02-16 11:42:54 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'd be very careful in your willingness to share "physical contact" with anyone (even something as seemingly innocent as a hug) so soon after having just met (even though you knew them before).
What could happen is a misinterpretation by your friend of just what your intentions were.
A problem could occur if your friend mistook your "casual" hug for an invitation, and a desire on your part, to explore a physical relationship with him in the future...one that you might object to if he now "comes on" or makes unwanted advances toward you because he feels you "opened the door" to the opportunity of getting more friendly with each other.
And the question also needs to be asked: was your hug an unconscious "flirt" which you, yourself put on him?
You have to realize that in most cases the ultimate goal of a guy (hormonally speaking), if he finds the girl attractive in any way, is to pursue a physical relationship with her...as soon as possible, that's how hormones work.
Think about it...hormones start getting more active (raging?) when there is:
1) stimulation from any physical contact (you supplied that).
2) stimulation of other senses (like the smell of your hair or perfume...you supplied that with the hug)
3) stimulation from the awareness of body heat emanating from another (the hug)
4) no objection sensed for intimate opportunities (the hug supplied that too)
Right now the poor guy is probably confused and you have him fantasizing about what could happen the next time you two get together.
Bottom line: I'd hold off on the gratuitous hugging until I'd had a couple more meetings with anyone simply because it could send the wrong signal.
In lieu of that hug, a simple handshake would suffice quite nicely.
2007-02-16 19:49:59 · answer #2 · answered by GeneL 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It could be touchy (pardon the pun). I am not a huggy person and am annoyed when a stranger hugs me (this happened at church one time during the shake hands with everyone part - which I also don't enjoy!). Some people are not comfortable with contact with strangers but I'm sure you would have been given a clear signal. Did he pull back, give you the awkward pat, look uncomfortable after? Some people are just huggy people and some are not. I'd save the hugs for when you know them better, partially for others comfort and for your own safety too - nothing worse than an unsolicited butt grab!!
2007-02-16 19:46:44 · answer #3 · answered by Baby boy arrived March 7th! 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it's not a bad thing, but you want to be careful around certain people because some people aren't that outgoing. Just next time when you are saying goodbye give him a friendly handshake, or maybe just give him a wave goodbye. I personally use to be the type of person who gave a hug after just as a friendly gesture. It really doesn't mean alot just have fun. I am pretty sure it doesn't matter to him.
2007-02-16 19:58:07 · answer #4 · answered by Dior_Gal 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's better to shake hands, until you know the person better Not everyone accepts or appreciates a hug. Like you, I am also a "hugger," but I am always aware of personal boundaries.
To some people there are "bad hugs," to other there are "good hugs."
2007-02-16 19:48:17 · answer #5 · answered by newyorkgal71 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Even though you went to school with this guy several years ago, a hug is more personal between close friendsnot recent acquaitences.
I bet he flinched when you hugged him,right?
2007-02-17 10:36:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're introduced, you talk for a while and have things in common. Not at all forward if you liked him. Hugs most of the time do show you have good feelings for that person. I really don't see a thing a wrong with it personally.
2007-02-16 19:51:18 · answer #7 · answered by Laura S 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Some cultures might be offended if you didn't. Hawiians like to hug. I think it just matters on the individuals comfort zone.
2007-02-16 19:44:25 · answer #8 · answered by peterregan50 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hugging is a females way
shaking hands is males way.
If you shake hands it would feel a bit akward no?
Hugging is ok . unless you're a guy hugging guys.
girls-hug girls
girls-hug boys
boys-hug girls
boys-shake boys
2007-02-16 19:50:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's fine to hug someone in america. just a friendly hug. not like you kissed him, right?
2007-02-16 19:49:43 · answer #10 · answered by definitivamente06 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
there is nothing wrong with hugging someone...its common greeting in america. it might come of as a bit strange to people you dont know,but if your friendly and want to hug someone,hug on.
2007-02-16 19:43:06 · answer #11 · answered by Justis 1 · 2⤊ 2⤋