why i can't understand my father?

Question

Someone wants me to explain the question,

mmm


I want to say that i never decided to make him angry, i always avoid any thing that makes him angry

BUT

he always says that i want him to be angry and i don't care about him

i can't understand him in any thing

if he wants something from me, and i do my best from my opinion and do it .....

then i always discovered that it isn't the way he want
he is angry from me because of every thing

and as a result of this :
in every conversation he make me feel like i'm a loser

i think now every one can understand my problem

who will help me to get out of this circle...

now I'm not alone.
i feel better because of your help.
i think with this views and ideas i can understand the situation and change my view
thank you all

Answer 1

He will never be happy because he has the problem and not you..distance yourself away from him its not fair what he is doing to you.

Answer 2

There's one simple reason for that.
You are living in a VERY different era.
Don't know how old he is or how old you are. But one thing is for shure you both are about 100 year apart. Why? everything now is changing so fast that some parents are getting behind because their time was a lot slower. And also morals were diferent obedience was for him, what freedom is to you
I'm not telling you this to give you something to brag about just take things from that prospective and you will understand him
and if you still don't. Just love him.

Answer 3

This does happen alot.
The next time you and your father get into it because he doesn't like the way you did something. Be nice back to him by saying dad I did try but can you show me how you really wanted it done so the next time I can do it right. Tell him you want to see eye to eye with him and get along but your not understanding how he tells you to do things.
When I tell my daughter things she doesn't understand her mind is directed in one direction and unless I show her she doesn't get it. My son on the other hand can get most things if I explain it clearly.
Everyone is different. Sometimes you just have to word it different for different people.
Good Luck With You Dad.

Answer 4

I know what you mean. My old man has put me down all of my life. He didn't have enough self-worth and common sense to learn that he's repeating what his old man did to him. My father is 73. Simulataneously, he's abuse and claimed to love me. He's got no self-love. All he wants to do is make me as emotionally bankrupted as he so he can control me. Now, for a year, he periodcally asks if I love him and don't answer the coward. I don't love him, I have contempt. If he had self-love he wouldn't have done what he's done. My well of love dried years ago---like 20; I'm 38. Being a parent doesn't mean you can treat you kid your way and take him/her for granted. We've got feelings. If you didn't like your parents treating you that way, learn from it.
Another thing, my father has no trouble being kind to students; he got off on the popularity of being assistant principal at my high schoo. When he was demoted in '86, his self-worth diminished. Now, driving me around and using my disabilities to keep me stuck home is his origin of self-esteem.
He won't help me get independent. He feels that since other employers won't give me the time of day and I can't drive due to epilepsy, he can use it to his advantage. Isn't that selfish?

Answer 5

Show him this page you wrote, print it off and give it to him. This is not uncommon but it sounds like you don't think his answers are right and you question him. Dad's love to give advice, they do believe they have the right way, when you have children, you can make the decisions for them, your attitude will change. Tell your dad that you love him and you will try harder, show him the letter and ask him, what can you do to improve your relationship. Some time down the road-your dad will be the one standing up for you or helping you. Remember, kids don't come with manuels, it is hard to know the right way to do things. If you have shown him that you don't believe in his way, he will be frustrated also and wonder what else he can do to reach you.

Answer 6

Examine yourself, maybe you aren't really are opening your mind to his opinions. Maybe if you're doing things that he tells you to do, you might have done it but with complaints, blah, blah, blah. But if you really are doing the right thing, maybe he has the problem and not you. Talk with him over it. Tell him what you feel. Pray. Trust God, He listens. He alone knows and can touch the depths of teh human heart.

Answer 7

Sometime parent have so many responsibilities that they keep all bundle up.

maybe your father doesn't mean what he say, but he can't con troll his anger so he take it out on you.
I think it not you he is angry at: its himself. try understanding him. he probably need you more than you can imagine, so why don't you try comforting him and then let him know your feeling

And let him know how much you love him and miss him,
Good luck!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

You didn't say what it was, that you don't understand. maybe, if you would let people know what it is you don't understand, they could give you some advice on what to do. But to tell someone why they don't and not know the reason, it makes it hard.

Answer 9

Because you are his child and he probably doesnt even understand himself.
Unless you are a parent yourself you can never understand the full range of differences at work between parent and child

Answer 10

sometimes parents forget what it's like to be young and maybe he sees himself in you and he wants to change the things about him he doesn't like or maybe your dad doesn't understand how you feel, but if that's how you feel you need to find away that's not disrespectful to tell him but in doing that be ready to listen too good luck