im 26, my gf's 37. We've been dating for 4 months and i'll be honest, i started dating her on a bet from one of my buddies. She's a bueatufil lady but he bet I would never go out with a lady that much older than me. I did, I won the bet, and I ended up really liking her. I'm not IN LOVE with her tho. None of this would matter except she told me at lunch today that she's pregnant! We began having sex as any couple would, after about a month of dating. I'm freaking out! I had no intention of making this relationship anything long term! I want kids, but not yet! I was actually planning on breaking up with her and I told one of her friends awhile ago that "i'm not sure how much longer this (meaning our relationship) is gonna last" and then a month later she tells me she's pregnant! And to answer the obvious questions: no I never wore a condom because she told me she was on the pill and yes, I know she really is preg because she insisted she prove it and took a preg test in from of me
2007-02-16 10:26:08 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Well, first of all I would like to correct you, not "any" couple or every couple starts having sex after a MONTH of knowing each other, especially not unprotected sex, pill or not. Secondly, you need to step up to the plate and be a man. Since it seems like she really is pregnant you need to sit down and discuss the future before the baby is here and you have no time to talk, if you don't want to be with her then don't stay with her, it will only cause more problems in the future, but if you need to keep a healthy relationship with her because she is probably the mother of your child.
2007-02-16 10:32:14 · answer #1 · answered by Chenielle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's your own fault. you should have never bet about something like that. Why did you let it go on for so long if you had no intention on a relationship? Why did you have sex with her birth control or not unprotected? That was just stupid!! Well you have to step up and be a man about it you just can't hide away somewhere and hope it all goes away. You were part in this also so you have the same responsibility as her. If you don't want to be with her then tell her because I don't think anyone should be with someone just because they have a kid. But just because you don't want her doesn't mean you can walk away from the baby it didn't ask for any if this. You will have to go to court and pay child support so you better get your sh** together. Be there for your baby that's the least you can do.
2007-02-16 12:56:01 · answer #2 · answered by lem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all never trust that a woman you just started dating is on the pill. Some women are very scandalous and they intentionally lie to get pregnant, and not to mention that birth control is definitely not 100 percent. You don't have to continue a relationship with her but you should certainly be there throughout the pregnancy if she needs anything and for the child after. I promise you once you see the baby for the first time in the ultrasound you will want to be a part of your childs life more than anything. But just be honest with her and let her know you don't want a relationship anymore but you are more than willing to be a part of the child's life and you will support her in anything she needs. Good Luck!
2007-02-16 10:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by fancyschmancy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
O my I am sorry for the good but bad news. Well first of all you were doing wrong buy using someone for a bet that was not correct. I do not think that the age should be a issue. I no your not ready ,. But well sounds to me like she might have just lied about being on the pill and wanted to catch you. Well she has kinda of done that. Now what the heck are you going to do. I mean you say you dont love her. But now she has your baby. Well sounds to me like your in for a real big choice. I mean i no your not ready for this but if she is keeping it you need to make sure your there for this child even though you dont want it. I no sometimes we all make mistakes but you dont want to here this now,,.,, once you see this baby you will be so happy. I no that proably child supprot is your main issue/ you Can then decide if you want to be a part of the babys life full time or part time. Just pray that this child comes out Healthy. Good luck
2007-02-16 10:33:52 · answer #4 · answered by babycakes3557 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a sticky situation! In my opinion I don't believe that the parents of a child have to be together to raise a child. I was much happier with my parents divorced than I was when they were married. The key is to not be misleading to her about how you feel towards her. Now when it comes to the baby, you need to be a man, it was your decision to have sex with her and now you are a daddy and this is something that you should not just walk away from. If you didn't want children then you should have worn a condom just for your own peace of mind and sexual health. Think of the innocent baby that didn't decide to be conceived to a man that didn't want it. I can only hope that you can be a real man and step up to the plate and raise your baby.
2007-02-16 10:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by jjsgirl0919 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First make sure you are the father. If you are let her know how you really feel ( not the part about the bet) and discuss the obvious options. Ultimately it's up to her how to proceed with keeping the baby or not. One thing is clear don't stay together for the babys sake. P.S. This is coming from a women.
2007-02-16 10:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. If you don't see a future in this relationship, don't stay. Be honest, but gentle and let her know your feelings (but not about the bet). If you stay in a relationship just for the kid, then you may end up resenting the child and your gf making you misetrable which in turn affects everyone around you.
You can still be in the child's life, even if you are not with the mom. Make sure you see the child regularly, send quality time with them and make sure they know you love them and are there for them.
Finally, are you sure you are the dad? Is she trying to trap you?
2007-02-16 10:38:06 · answer #7 · answered by Claire K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well your first mistake was letting your bet continue for that long. You second mistake was not using protection. But hey you live you learn and looks like your going to learn the hard way. If I were you I probably wouldn't tell her about the bet or at least right now. You may not be in love with her, but there is no love greater than shared between a parent and his/hers baby. In my opinion age is nothing but a number.
2007-02-16 10:34:13 · answer #8 · answered by Amber A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She very well could have been on the pill and still become pregnant... no birth control is 100% effective at preventing pregnancy!
Bottom line is that whether you and she are a couple or not, you are going to be a father. You need to step up, be a man, and prepare to support this child emotionally and financially. You do not have to be with this woman, but your child deserves a good father.
2007-02-16 10:33:33 · answer #9 · answered by mornnglry 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your just s.o.l You hooked up with her..maybe this is gods way of paying you back for betting on peoples lives and actually using people to get what you want. It'll be okay babies are wonderful and im sure wants you get used to the idea youll be okay...you can still have a bbay and not be with someone...goodluck to you and next time think more about your decsions goodluckA!@ You must really be a risky person you bet on hooking up with her and then you bet on not using a rubber!
2007-02-16 10:30:53 · answer #10 · answered by cutenwild1769 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋