Anna Nicole Smith's Year In Review is just released. Would you like a copy?

Question

Anna Nicole Smith's 2006 Year in Review:

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!.....labias won't fit in the printer !!!

March - Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours ..... power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions.... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition..... learned later,the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!

August - Tried to mind my own business.... but I had no mind and no business.

September - A personal ad asked for a golden retriever.... i replied thinking they meant a smart blonde.

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days ... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!

December - I burned my ear... the phone rang while I was ironing.



January 2007 - I change my baby's diapers every month.... the instructions stated, "good for up to 20 pounds".

February 2007 - Couldn't call 911 ..... "duh"..... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

Answer 1

Dude, that's too funny!

Answer 2

An autopsy was performed Monday. On Tuesday, Her Majesty's Coroner Linda P. Virgill said that based on preliminary findings, "the cause of death is not natural." But, she said, "we wish to reserve [announcing] the cause of death at this time," adding that a toxicology results and a full autopsy report will be released by the end of the week. Virgill said an inquest will take place afterward and her staff will interview all "relevant witnesses," including Anna Nicole Smith, hospital workers and flight attendants, to develop an official timeline. The coroner's statements came in the wake of a story in the Nassau Guardian that Daniel Smith suffered a "massive heart attack" and that antidepressants had been found in his system. The newspaper said that Daniel was seen "vomiting uncontrollably" shortly before his death. Police on Tuesday sought to downplay the Guardian report.

Answer 3

She weighs 108?

Answer 4

This is just plain old tacky! How could you say these things about a person who has just died. If it was meant to be funny it was not. Please have a little more class!

Answer 5

That's f up she just died! PLus as dumb as you say she is she made more money than you'll ever make in a life time.

Answer 6

She's not here to defend herself anymore. Sorry it's in bad taste.

Answer 7

don't get the M&M joke. however that doesn't really matter as you will be working as a janitor for the rest of your life.

congrats

Answer 8

That's mean! Even though she was no angel,let the woman R.I.P!

Answer 9

ANS 1991-1995 Years in Review (actual text from 9th Circuit court pleadings):

Soon after J. Howard met Vickie in 1991, he began giving her gifts. After Vickie's own car was repossessed, J. Howard purchased a new Toyota Celica for her use. He began giving her cash to pay her bills. He also began buying expensive jewelry for her use. Over time, J. Howard purchased jewelry for Vickie's use costing in excess of $4 million. On September 16, 1992, J. Howard purchased a ranch in Tomball, Texas for Vickie's use.... J. Howard also purchased a home for Vickie's use in Houston.... Because Vickie spent a great deal of time in Los Angeles, J. Howard leased a home for her there. Later, he purchased a different home for her use there (the "Brentwood House"). In 1992 he purchased a new Mercedes for her use.... In addition to these gifts, J. Howard promoted Vickie's career as a Playboy Playmate and international model. He bought her expensive clothing and gave her cash.

Prior to their marriage, J. Howard and Vickie were often apart. Although she would call him frequently for money, she did not often visit him. [FN14: Vickie referred to J. Howard as "Paw Paw." In public, she told others that he was her grandfather.] At times, J. Howard would fly to Los Angeles or New York to visit her. During a trip to Los Angeles to visit Vickie prior to the marriage, Vickie claimed to have injured her leg and, during his visit, spent much of the time in bed wearing a cast. While J. Howard was taking a nap, however, his nurse, Betty Harding, came across Vickie in another room with the cast off and her arms and legs encircled in embrace around her housekeeper, giggling and rubbing noses. Later on during the visit, J. Howard went shopping with Harding to purchase jewelry for Vickie. When they returned with the jewelry, Vickie demanded to see the receipt and complained that J. Howard had not spent enough money on the purchase. J. Howard returned to the store to purchase more expensive jewelry.

During a trip to New York, J. Howard waited in his hotel for several days only to have Vickie visit with him for thirty minutes. Just before he was scheduled to leave, Vickie asked that he meet her at an exclusive jewelry store, Harry Winston's. When J. Howard arrived at the store and met with Vickie, he was not interested in shopping. Vickie gave him a valium, leaving him incoherent and drooling in his wheelchair. She then had him buy her a 16-carat diamond engagement ring. On the return trip to Houston, J. Howard had heart palpitations, and Harding was concerned that, as a result of the valium, J. Howard might have died.

During the summer of 1994, members of J. Howard's staff learned that Vickie's "bodyguard," Pierre DeJean, had a record of multiple felony convictions. Just prior to her marriage to J. Howard, Vickie "lost" much of the jewelry that J. Howard had given to her, including her engagement ring. She filed a police report in Los Angeles, claiming the property had been stolen. Contradicting her claim, she also asserted that she had given the jewelry to DeJean. Further contradicting her claim, she asserted that she had left the jewelry in a bag in a cab. The jewelry has never been recovered. [FN15: The police did not believe Vickie's story, stating that "the report of lost jewelry is unfounded."]

On June 27, 1994, J. Howard married Vickie at a ceremony in Houston. The wedding was attended by J. Howard's secretary, Scurlock, and one of his nurses, Charlotte Fade. Vickie's aunt and uncle also attended. Arnold Wyche, J. Howard's driver, brought J. Howard to the ceremony but did not attend. Pierce was not informed, and was unaware of the wedding, until July 11, 1994 when Dan Hedges told him that it had occurred. The afternoon of the wedding, Vickie informed J. Howard that she had to leave that day for Greece for a photo session. Instead of travelling to Greece, however, Vickie flew back to Los Angeles.

In August of 1994, J. Howard flew to Los Angeles with his driver, Wyche, to visit Vickie for several days. During the visit, Vickie stayed in her room in her bed. When J. Howard suggested that he keep her company, she refused to allow him to lie next to her, stating that he would urinate in the bed. She remained in bed until J. Howard left. When he came to say goodbye, she asked him for money. He gave her his wallet and she took all of his cash, together with a blank check that she had him sign.

On another occasion, J. Howard asked Nurse Harding to take him to visit Vickie at the Tomball Ranch. At the ranch, Vickie asked Harding to leave J. Howard with her. Harding left, and drove to Scurlock's nearby horne. A short time later, Harding received a phone call from Vickie's aunt requesting that Harding come pick up J. Howard. Harding rushed back to the ranch. When she arrived, she found Vickie talking with her aunt in a car in the driveway. Harding found J. Howard in the house. His hair was standing up, his clothes were disheveled, and buttons were missing from his shirt. Although he would not tell Harding what happened, he made her promise that she would never again leave him alone with Vickie at her house. He stated that his marriage to Vickie had been a mistake. He also stated that Vickie thought of him as a bottomless pit financially, which was not true. He stated that he wanted to teach Vickie how to handle her money, but all she wanted to do was spend.

During Christmas of 1994, J. Howard again flew to Los Angeles with Wyche to visit Vickie. When he arrived at her house, Vickie was drunk and having a party with some friends. Soon after his arrival, she sent J. Howard to bed and continued on with her party. On December 23, 1994, J. Howard gave Vickie a stuffed bear with an emerald pendant necklace. She served him breakfast. Because the bacon was raw, he avoided eating it. When she complained that he was not eating the food, he swallowed it. The raw bacon, however, made him sick.

That evening, Vickie insisted that J. Howard go out with her for dinner even though he did not feel well. While they were out, Vickie left J. Howard in his wheelchair in the rain. Afterwards she went dancing with her bodyguard, while Wyche stayed with J. Howard at the house. On Christmas day, Vickie had Wyche take pictures of her and J. Howard. Although they posed together for pictures, she did not spend the day with him. Before J. Howard left, he gave her an envelope full of cash several inches thick. After J. Howard returned to Houston, he became seriously ill and, in January of 1995, was hospitalized. Following his stay in the hospital, he returned to his home in Houston.... Vickie flew to Houston. While at J. Howard's house, she tried to feed him chicken soup. J. Howard had difficulty swallowing, and Vickie's feeding him the soup caused him to choke, and he lost consciousness. J. Howard's driver called 911, and eventually succeeded in reviving him.

On May 26, 1995, Vickie visited J. Howard at his Texas home, exposed her breasts and asked him to repeat into a tape recorder that he intended to give her half of all of his assets. J. Howard refused. On August 4, 1995, J. Howard died of heart failure. He was ninety-one years old. On the night before he died, J. Howard refused Vickie's phone call. During his marriage, J. Howard called Vickie daily, leaving messages for her to call him. She did not return his calls, contacting him only when she wanted money. During the last month of J. Howard's life, Vickie did not visit him in Houston.

Although J. Howard clearly loved Vickie, he ultimately called her "unteachable." As Nurse Harding described J. Howard's experience with Vickie, "his year of being married to her was just a total long, lonely, frustrating, miserable existence."

Answer 10

No, but thanks anyway!