How to handle my wifes teenage sibling who lives with us.?

Question

My wifes sister is a 15 year old high school student. I have known her since she was eight years old and have been a very good 'friend/pal'

She has lived with us for a year along with her mother. The problem is this. She is very disrespectful to me and does not listen to me and says that she dosent have to do what I say. She has actually hit me as well when we are alone.

My problem is that I need her to respect me in my home as well as my wife to know the issues. My wifes teen sister spins things around to look like it is my fault and that I am a bully and her mother and sister do not believe that their "sweet" sister would do these things.

They think that she just acts up because I provoke her. In actuallity the child has been raised by her mother very spoiled and get's whatever she wants and does not have 'alot' of discipline.

I just need some advice on how to deal with all of this because right now her family thinks that I am causing all of the trouble.

Thanks ahead-

Answer 1

I would set up a video camera (hidden) in the living room and have a conversation with her about what this is doing to your relationship. Don't provoke her and see if she gets out of hand on her own. There's your proof.

Answer 2

Sounds like to me that this kid likes all the attention. It is natural for a 15 year old to like and create drama.

My husband and I had custody of my 13 year old sister for a year, and let me tell you teenage girls push everyone as far as you let them.

It is real easy for everyone to tell you to kick them out, but you do not want to live with an upset wife who thinks you turned your back on her family.

Your wife feels that she has to protect her sister. It's maternal, she is in that role. You don't need to challenge that cause it will just make her push you away.

You probably joke around a lot with the little sister, so she may not know when you are serious and when you are messing with her. It's hard when you have been the "pal", to establish yourself as a parental figure, without her thinking - WHATEVER! You have treated her as an equal. She is not, she is a child who needs direction.

You need to sit the sister down in front of your wife and mother-in-law and let her know that things have got to change. Tell her it bothers you that she doesn't respect your opinion and wishes in the home. Tell her: "you want me to be here for you and do things for you, but when I ask you to obey my wishes or listen to my opinion, you don't." Ask her if she thinks that is fair. Give an example or two. Put them in your shoes.

Remember not to talk down to her. It only will make EVERYONE defensive. You will only get respect, if you give it. You want to make this child not want to disappoint you. Not want to let you down.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Give them a local paper and have it turned to the section that says 'apartments for rent'. If she can spoil her daughter by giving her whatever she wants then she can afford rent!! I know that you don't want this to come between you and your wife but at the same time you do not deserved to be disrespected in your own house where I am sure you are helping to pay the bills.

Answer 4

Sit down with your wife, her mom and sister. Explain the situation to your wife. You and your wife need to lay down some ground rules for your house. Tell your mother-in-law and sister-in-law that if one of the rules is disobyed they have 30 days to get out of your house. If your mother-in-law has enough money to spoil her daughter she has enough money to find another place to live.

Answer 5

They naturally take up for one of their own as opposed to the outsider who "stole" their little girl. However, if her teenager sister is living with you and not her parents, it is probably for the same reasons. Take charge of your house. Lay down ground rules in front of everyone and enforce them, whether her family is ther or not. If she can not live respectfully with you, then she can go back to her legal guardians. You will have problems with her family and possibly your wife because of it, but if you continue to allow it, she will destroy your home.

Answer 6

im a teenager so i know. what you need to do is tell her. "Ok, i just want to have a conversation with you. let me finish and when i am done talking it is ur turn. you answer my questions and i answer yours. all i needed to know is that what arent you liking about me?"

then she answers and tell her its her turn. take the time to get to know her and become like a best friend to her. she is a teenager what do you expect. sort things out with her. to become really close you two need to have trust in each other. without that there is nothing. u need to explain to her that this is hard on you and u need to comunicate with her. show her that she can be safe with u and trust u. i know in your heart you love her but u really need to show it alot more. cuz it takes alot to show that you are taking what ever it takes to be a great step father/father. you could see the difference at the end. i hope that it helps.

Answer 7

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Answer 8

Your house, hour rules, obey or leave, very simple, all the way around.

Answer 9

How hot is she?