Living Arrangements...A Question For Guys (Open to all)??

Question

Just out of curiosity, what are considered "standard" rules for couples living together? If your partner has moved in with you (or stays with you frequently), what rules do/would you impose? Would you adhere her to a strict set of rules that you don't even follow? How many times would you randomly tell her to make herself comfortable? Would it end after two months? Six? Would you feel free to intrude her privacy because it's your place? Are chores split fairly, or are you exempt because its your place? Do you find yourself doing vindictive things to her when you feel overwhelmed? If you have been dating longer than a year but aren't engaged, and she stay has been staying with you, off and on, for months, how long would you wait before giving her a key? Would you be scared of what it implied (if you were serious about her)? If you are or have lived with your partner in your place, what peeves have you expressed? What could she do that would nag you? Please be serious. Please be honest.

Answer 1

Geez, that's a lot of questions. First of all, if you're living in a place, depending upon what the monetary relationship is to the rent of the place and the 'couple' factor in your relationship, I don't think that a set of rules is necessary.
If you're paying a portion of the rent, you're entitled to the same benefits and rights of the other party. Keep your own area clean, clean up after yourself, mostly common sense type things, etc.

If its a couple situation where your boy/girlfriend is telling you to do things which you don't feel are right then there's some communication which has to be tackled between the two of you. There's an apparent disconnect in the outline of responsibility which exists between you.

If my girlfriend moved in, I wouldn't expect her to follow a set of rules which I don't follow. I wouldn't expect her to not drink from the carton, leave the toilet seat up, etc.

If I found I was doing vindictive things to piss her off, under the surface, I'd already be thinking about someone else to replace her. Vindictive behavior spawns the end of a relationship, it's unhealthy to good relationship. n

If we'd been dating for over a year, and aren't engaged, yet she had been staying with me for extensive periods of time. Yeah, I'd of given her a key after the first couple of months when I saw that she was going to be crashing with me a lot.

It's difficult to answer the rest of your questions, because they'll vary so much from person to person. something that might nag me won't nag someone else. For example, don't cut my alarm clock off in the morning! Don't leave one gulp of milk in the container, and mostly don't do a bunch of the normal everyday commonsense things which would piss anyone off. A good yardstick, if you don't want it done to you, don't freaking do it.

Answer 2

Make sure by all means that you let him know your boundries: i.e. what stuff he should not touch etc. And be careful not to overstep your boundries with his personal belongings.

Give your bf a key once he moves in and if it doesn't work ask for the key back.

It doesn't have to necessarily end after 6 months if you always find time to talk to your partner about the things that bother you or that may not be working about the two of you living together. Keep a list of chores for each of you to take care of. That way no one feels like they are doing more than the other one. Do this BEFORE he moves in and make sure you hold up your end of the cleaning assignments.

Answer 3

I'm going to give you VERY honest advice here...but I'm going to get lots of "thumbs down" for it...especially from the men. Living together is a BAD idea for the woman. Seriously. I'm 45 years old and I've seen it many many many times. Of all my friends who have lived with their boyfriends (and it's been many) only one ever got married to a live-in...and it lasted less than a year. All the happy marriages that I know (there are many) consist of couples who maintained their own individual homes before marriage.

I'm not saying pre-marital sex is bad or evil or anything like that....BUT I am saying that men seem to lose any incentive at all in proposing once their girlfriends move in. Why should they? Marriage is really about giving legal status to the union, whether it's to benefit children or to financially protect one or the other of the partners. Break ups with long time live-ins are financial nightmares.

Take my advice. Don't do it.

Answer 4

There are no hard and fast rules to follow here.

If you are to the stage where you are staying together, she'd have a key for sure. If she's with me most of the time, she's probably already helping with chores. If she get's too damn annoying - then she's got to go.

If things are still great with her around, then it's time to move in together for real. Test out those waters for potential engagement and possible marriage.

I don't think ANYONE should get married or engaged without living together first.

Answer 5

you will desire to have it. You made the child and now you have a accountability of raising it. Whethere the two one in each and each of you would be jointly or no longer, if he desires you to maintain the child then i've got have been given faith he will step up and be a super father. you have been blessed with a clean infant and enable me assist you to recognize honey, the foremost astonishing feeling indoors the international is as quickly as you experience that teen bypass around indoors you. i comprehend the activity is horrifying. i'm married with an straightforward interest yet I regardless of the undeniable fact that get variety of scared once I comprehend that for the period of the time of in basic terms some months i'd be a mommy. Your maternal instincts will kick in and you'd be effective. Make the astonishing determination and shop the child.

Answer 6

Personally I would not put myself in a live in situation so that I do not have to deal with all that stuff. It is too stressful for a relationship without marriage.

Do it proper. Date, get to know each other, get engaged and then get married if it gets that far.

Answer 7

im sure if your super sweet you shouldnt have any problems.
if i was a gold card member she could come and go as she pleased, there would be a maid so no hang ups about cleanleness.just give her what ever she wants and im sure she will do the same assuming you dont have money problems then just hang the **** in there.

Answer 8

This is hard, since I would probably not let a woman that I am in an intimate relationship with move in with me unless of course we were married. However, if I did, it would probably be a "what is mine is yours" type relationship, almost as if we were married.

Answer 9

50/50 on bills, and house work. I aint gone act like your wife if we are not married. Just split everything down the middle.