I really like a male friend of mine (I dont think he knows how much I like him) and last week we ended up sleeping together. The evening was fantastic, had been out with mutual friends, gone back to his, got cosy and watched a film-we had done this before so nothing unusual. He then started giving me a back and shoulder massage and then one thing led to another. I don't normally do this kind of thing but I really like this guy and it felt the right thing to do at the time and I don't regret it at all. The thing is although I saw him on wed at uni I havent actually personally heard from him since. Ive sent txts but got no reply. I guess what I want to know is, did he just want sex and I was the easiest option? Or is he interested and just too shy now? Would he have done it if he wasnt at all interested in me? What should I do now?! I'm so confused! Please help, any advice is much appreciated!
2007-02-16 09:29:46 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There is one general rule for men. It is always true.
If he's interested, he'll let you know. If he's not, paying any attention to you, then it was fun, but that is all.
2007-02-16 09:34:47 · answer #1 · answered by Wiseyngsoul 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Difficult to say as to whether he used you or not. You did consent and were in control of the situation so he would probably say he didn't. Tecnically you used each other maybe for different reasons maybe he fancys you maybe he doesn't.
I male work mate of mine said guys are more often then not friends with girls because deep down they want to sleep with them. If this is true this doesn't necessarily mean they want to go out with you. Men I think find it easier to detach then women and will sleep with you just for some fun. Mind you some women can detach as well whereas some find it more difficult
In an ideal world in my opinion a guy who is truely your friend would never come on to you in less you had started dating and you both knew it was going somewhere. Unfortunightly we don't live in an ideal world.
My advise is act normal around him. If he likes you im sure he will start communcating with you and hopefully open up to you about what happened. If the subject doesn't come up and you find yourself in a simular situation again hold back from a repeat proformance until you know where you stand with each other. If you allow stuff to happen between you to many times without knowing where you stand you could lose his respect for you.
At the end of the day its up to you what you do, just don't let your heart rule your head completely
Be cautious whatever you do and good luck!
2007-02-16 10:27:09 · answer #2 · answered by Unknown 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but if there a chance for seX most guys will be all for it. He might like you and all, but since it seems like he's avoiding you since it's happened...It was just about getting laid. I know, men suck! Believe me, neXt time don't have seX with a guy until he asks you to be his girlfriend if that is what you want. Most guys will never turn down seX. If you know what you are getting into and just want him for seX too..then by all means get your freak on. It does look to me that you like this guy, but I'm sorry to say that it probably won't work out because now he probably thinks your easy. I've gone through this before...trust me. Move on and don't sleep with a guy until you are his girlfriend if you want a relationship with him! I'm pretty sure there are a few eXceptions to this rule, but that's how guys are. They are wierd...why can't they be like us women? LOL
2007-02-16 09:52:30 · answer #3 · answered by asiansmile 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must approach this guy, because it sounds like you were friends before this and you dont want to lose his friendship, I think find the right time to go up to him and explain how yr feeling, maybe he is too shy or maybe he isnt interested, but you will never know unless you approach him. Dont feel bad about what happened and if it doesnt work out then its not meant to be, good luck
2007-02-16 09:47:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to ask him. FLAT OUT...about the other night....and take the lead in the conversation You will know the answer...by his body language. He could have the same feelings as you do but not able to show them. He may feel like he was the one night stand and now he is embarassed. He maybe a real dick and since he got what he wanted he is not man enough to talk to you. I hope it is the first one cuz i am a hopeless romantic and i hope you have found your sole mate
best of luck
2007-02-16 09:37:38 · answer #5 · answered by brokerman74067 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
specific, yet until eventually there is an truthful pastime in the guy who is going further than intercourse...a 2nd night stand is generally under no circumstances as solid by using fact the 1st whilst each and everything become exciting and new! in case you enjoyed the guy until eventually now hand whether, the 2nd night might properly be extra advantageous, the third night much extra advantageous......on until eventually finally on the subject of the a centesimal night or so, then it gets previous.
2016-09-29 05:16:08 · answer #6 · answered by betker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though he is regretting it. If you value the friendship and are prepared to accept that and nothing else then I would advise cornering him and saying " look we both did something maybe we shouldn't have, lets put it behind us and get back to normal" you may be able to salvage the friendship. Of course he may want to be more to you in which case he may say something but I wouldn't hold your breath.
2007-02-16 09:36:33 · answer #7 · answered by sharon r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH, dear. I am sosorry to say, but it reall looks like a one night stand. I gues it will be hard for you, but do not try to contact this man any more. He obviously does not care for you, and he is not nice to you even. ne cannot even call this a friend.
So just take care of yourself, and continue going. some man are like this. It happened to me too. Feels bad for a while and then lifes goes on.
And if you did it with all those wonderfull feeling you have for him, that you are a great person. hug to you!
2007-02-16 09:44:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you feel like he is ignoring you? If so, then perhaps he has obtained his goal. Do not bring up what happened. Try to go about, business as usual when dealing with him. In other words, continue to be his friend---totally unaffected. Sit back, don't pursue, see what he does. I know this one may have hurt you. But see if he still wants to remain friends--if you can be one.
2007-02-16 09:35:46 · answer #9 · answered by LisaLou 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say it, but it sounds like he only wanted sex and now he is probably thinking "uh oh, this girl probably thinks I want to be in a relationship!" So, this is why he isn't responding to your texts, etc. He doesn't know what to say to you so he avoiding you.
Good Luck, I hope I am wrong for your sake!
2007-02-16 09:34:28 · answer #10 · answered by me 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋