Is suicide a selfish act?

Question

So many people left hurting and wishing they could have helped!

I myself am not suicidal, but thanks to those who offered help and support. I am concerned about someone and know a few friends who have lost loved ones to suicide.

Answer 1

No, it is not a selfish act at all. I do speak from experience.

I suffer with severe recurrent depression. Currently I am well. When the depression is very deep, your mind has an altered state. The suffering is immense and difficult to describe to someone who has not experienced it. You are only existing and your brain is tortured. There aren't any positve thoughts.

You really do feel and BELIEVE (in this altered state of mind), that your family and friends would be better off without you. There can be immense guilt for what you are putting others through...no matter how many times they tell you it's ok. Sleep can be so disturbed, you can go 3 nights without any sleep at all and then when sleep does come, it may only be for a few hours.

There seems to be no way out. If you can imagine that you are burning alive, well severe depression can be a torturous as this.

I only ever believed that depressison was a feeling of being low and unmotivated....it can be so much more than that at its worst as I discovered when I first became unwell.

The thing to remember is that the mind is unstable and sees everything from a very distorted perspective and suicide does seem as though it's the only answer and perhaps the right thing to do for everyone concerned.

To anyone who has lost someone through suicide I would say, they were not being selfish but driven into taking their lives because of an illness which can be very debilitating.

In fact it is probably more true to say that a person died from a mental illness.

Somebody above said that it was a cowards way out of a problem....deep depression is not 'a problem' it is a very serious illness. Also it takes a lot of courage to finally end your own life.
Something that your mind can force you to do.

Somebody else said..'.....but when a healthy person decides....' That is the POINT!!!! That person is NOT healthy!!!! Very far from it!

Often there is no problem or reason for clinical depression, the chemicals in the brain go awry and the brain alters.

Someboody once said, if you drank a lot of alcohol then you'd probably do a llot of things you normally wouldn't...well the chemicals in the brain can have a similar effect but in a negative way.

Answer 2

This question REALLY depends on who you ask, doesn't it???...meaning there is no right answer...

If you ask someone who is suicidal..they don't usually see it as a "selfish act", as they are in so much pain, living becomes too difficult to bear.

If you ask someone who has lost a loved one through suicide the answer is usually yes, because they don't understand how someone who supposidly loved them could cause them so much hurt inside.

If you ask someone who enjoys life, is healthy in mind and spirit they will probably say yes, because they have never really experienced enough pain to understand why someone would want to leave this life....however being healthy of mind (if anyone truely is) should mean your objective and can see both sides of the story.

we could also ask is euthanasia selfish?? People often don't think so because the person has a physical disease and is in pain, therefore we think they deserve to go and stop feeling the pain...so why is mental illness not treated similarly? OK with physical illness death is pretty certain, whereas mental illness can often be treated..but not always.

When someone commits suicide people often say "the person could have been helped"...what if they tried so hard and continually were rejected?? I know I have been greatly let down by the health system and even family and friends too....therefore they did try all the roots but if your continously hit with a brick wall when ur already feeling so awful...is it fair to make that statement?

I personally don't see it as a selfish act but rather a sad one for all involved. I also dont think there is a right answer...it depends whos shoes you are in!!

Answer 3

That's a hard one, really...
Not only because you can look at it from many different points of view (religion, psychology, etc), but also because I think every person who commits suicide has a slightly different outlook.

I think there are quite a few (the majority) who are just in too much pain to cope anymore. A lot of them feel they are ridding their loved ones of a burden, and helping to take away the pain. Sure, their death may cause a lot of havoc in another's life, but I don't think that's usually the intention. Quite the contrary, I think most people who commit suicide have gotten so far into their own self-hatred and depression that they're convinced they'd make the world a better place by their own death.

And then there are other people...(like me I think I should add), whose suicidal mode involves feelings of hatred toward the world, and a general attitude of vengeance. This is not to say these people aren't in pain, I think anger is a form of pain. But, I know from experience that when I feel the most suicidal I am overwhelmingly angry, much more than I am depressed...and I almost get a kick out of imaginging everyone around me that has hurt me finally understanding how upset I was and regretting not knowing for the rest of their lives. Basically, I think there really are some people who intentionally want to cause pain to those they leave behind.

So...I don't know how to answer this question. I'm really just rambling. But, I think that if I have felt that vengeance/anger before...others probably have to. I know it sounds strange to think suicide would be revenge, a way of saying "F*uck the world", albeit counterproductive...

So, even if suicide is not the 'Ultimate selfish act', as it's been called before...I think it can definitely be the 'Ultimate display of anger' at times.

Answer 4

Some people will say it is a selfish act, but those are the people who have probably never been in a suicidal person's shoes. It's easy for people who have a great life and have never felt depression to say "yeah, suicide is selfish and stupid. get over it". I once thought that suicide was selfish, until I started feeling like I did't want to live anymore when I was 19. It's hard to keep going when you don't see that light at the end of the tunnell. When you are completely alone and your future seems hopeless, you start wondering what the point of living is. I do not think suicide is a selfish act, but I do not think it is the answer. I almost committed suicide, but I didn't, and my life turned completely around and I have never been happier. Anyone who has suicical thoughts shouldn't give up on life, because you never know what the future has in store for you!

Answer 5

So when people say think of number 1 what do they mean?

If a person feels like they are going to be happier in another place called Heaven then shouldn't the people around this person, relatives, friends etc be happy that this person is no longer suffering and is now happy??

People that commit suicide aren't cowards but truly believe there is no way out, it doesn't make them weak, because that person that has gone through the days, weeks or months maybe even years of being depressed etc will be a stronger person than a boxer in a ring by having of dealt with the how their feelings, emotions and problems. Maybe the people saying this is selfish are infact the selfish ones?

Answer 6

Suicide can be considered a selfish act by those who are left behind, especially if those left behind didn't see the suicide coming (which is possible, considering that most families who had someone commit suicide are in denial most of the time.)

But try and see it through the eyes of the person who is so depressed that they want to end their life. Think of the pain and depression and the pressure that they must feel. They are so low and for some reason can't get out of their funk.

Whilst everyone else might see suicide as a selfish act (I know I certainly did when a close friend committed suicide), the person committing suicide actually thinks (in an irrational way, perhaps) that dying is the best way to make everyone happy round them. I believe that they sincerely think that with their death, a sort of relief will calm their loved ones.

Either way, suicide is a tragedy. It's an emotionally painful time for everyone involved to go through.

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Answer 7

NO.its not.and do you want to know why?
ive been suicidle since i was 9.im 23 now and i have 2 lovely and a great partner.but i suffer from deppression.i cant help it and i certainly dont want to live like this but,im struggling to cope.everyday,suicide crosses my mind.the ONLY thing that stops me is my family.i wouldnt want them to hurt.how can that be selfish?but some days,when the suicidle thoughts are overwhelming and my deppression is at its worst,i feel that suicide is the best option because my family would be better off without me making their lives miserable.how can that be selfish?
i know that if i cant get proper treatment,by the time my kids are grown and are able to look after themselves,i will to commit suicide.how dare anyone judge these people.these people are in desperate circumstances and probably think they are doing their loved ones a favour by giving up.everyone has their reasons.people are quick to judge and critisise,but,where is the help when people like me need it?

Answer 8

No, not at all. It is an act of desperate, unbelievable pain. Do you not think suicidal people think of their loved ones? Of course they do. If they didn't they probably would have committed suicide a long time before.

It is when the pain of their life becomes so unbearable that even the thought of leaving loved ones grieving isn't enough to stop them. When they feel there is absolutely nothing left for them to live for, that their life is not livable. I know, I have felt close to suicide at times, and i am on my own with two children, one disabled. My life is awful, and at times I have been very close to ending it.
The only thing that stops me are my two children who would end up in care, heartbroken. I know my death would ruin their lives, having recently lost my father even as an adult I know how losing a parent can effect you.

But still there are times when I have felt close to ending it. Obviously I haven't, but I have felt very close at times of extreme stress.
Nobody would want to die and leave loved ones behind unless the pain was so great that they could not bear to live their life any longer.
It is not selfish. It is the last resort, when nothing else can relieve their pain.

Answer 9

This question will only have bias answers, everyone sees it differently. I am sure those who have attempted it and felt what it has been like before you took the plunge can tell you it may probably not be selfish but those who look at it in the sense that say "so many people left behind hurting" will give you their view it is selfish.

Although every persons story is different, is it fair for someone to live a life full of suffering where they have nothing to look forward to, no one who loves or cares for them or generally have it hard? There are people out there who are like this, what about the homeless a lot feel lonely and do not have their families any more. Many of us look at them as something horrible, something we do not want to associate with but many of them once had children had a wife a loving family a good home some even came form very rich backgrounds, so do the people who have nothing left, would they be considered selfish when there was no one there to wish they could have helped?

What I am trying to say is we cannot lump them into either category of selfish or unselfish, we need to exam first their reasons, their backgrounds and mostly we need to understand how they feel which many of us cannot.

No one should be giving answers here unless they have had experience on the issue, people who make judgments when they have never experiences something whether it was a relative or themselves who tried often give a ignorant answer, can someone tell me what beef vindaloo tastes like when they themselves have not tried it nor been told by someone who has?. Also everyones should be regarded as their own individualistic view not something that would apply to everyone.


So when you pick an answer it will be what you feel is right, that is how bias works, so I guess to sum this up this is also my own bias answer how I see things.

I believe it is neither selfish nor unselfish, it all depends on how the person feels, for what reasons they are doing it (some people do actually do it for very selfish acts some do it because they carry a burden of pain).

Think about this, should we label someone we loved as selfish for hurting so badly that they found no other ways? so much that they did not come to those who could help because they evidently did not feel as though we could be trusted enough? Should we label them as selfish for hurting OR label us as ignorant for not seeing the problem before? maybe we closed our eyes to their problem when they did ask for help.

I have seen many people tell their family they wanted help, what they have been thinking of doing and there are A LOT of families out there who do not even care enough to give a loving answer just to turn and say something like "no you don't stop being so melodramatic".


Isn't it selfish for us the family or friends to expect the person to just "stick it out" to stay alive JUST for us? because we don't want to "pick up the pieces" as some say or we don't want them to go? it is their life, we are the ones being selfish, show them other options first on how to fix things and if they feel suicide is necessary then who are we to force them to stay and live in pain just for our own selfish desires?

Answer 10

I actually witnessed a suicide when I was 15, a woman jumped in front of a train at Durham station. There was about 30 or so people on that platform, including some quite young children. I was quite bitter when I was younger that I had to see that. So yes, I think it is really, unless the person has a uncurable or unbearable diease, and then I think they should have the right to end their pain. I know I would like that option if I was suffering very badly.