How do I get over this?

Question

I am engaged...My fiance has had many girlfriends and recently I stumbled upon a box of pictures of all of his ex- girlfriends. He looks so happy and in love and all of the girls are much thinner than me.

I lived the most sheltered life and did not go on a date until I was 27 years old. I didn't go out, party, drink or have sex until I was 30. My fiance's pictures are riddled with images of him partying with his friends, drinking, on trips with girls, and I can't get those images out of my head.

And on top of that I am now regretting my sheltered life. I feel like I never did any of what he did and I wish I had. I don't regret being a nerd because it has gotten me to where I am at today, but I feel like I can't get over this...I know he loves me, but I feel so weird about all of this...He just looks so happy in those darn pictures. And his ex-girlfriends are so pretty...UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

Well, after all those girlfriends, you're the one he's marrying, so you must be the one he was looking for, right? Trust in him, and believe in yourself.

Answer 2

Well out of all those women he chose you!! So he must think you are very special! Just because you don't feel like you look perfect I'm sure in his eyes you are :-) And as for the partying its not all that, it gets old really fast!

Think about this, someone once told me that I looked so perfect in my marriage (that didn't last and was terrible) because of all the happy pictures we took together. And I thought about it and came to the understanding no one takes a sad picture and frames it or puts into a photo album, everyone smiles when the camera is around, doesn't mean that your life is perfect or that you are truly happy.


Have no regrets your whole life is ahead of you!

Answer 3

I want you to think about this for a minute. If those girls were so great and beautiful and if his was so happy with them, why didn't he marry them? Why isn't he with them now? Sweetheart, you have to look at the whole picture. Yes, your fiance has had a very full life with dating and taking trips with women, but he wants you. Although you never experienced the party side of life, he wants you. You are so special to him and bring so much to his life that he wants to marry you. And you're still alive, you have plenty of times to go and party with your new husband. You can now even experience so much more, because you'll have someone to share it with. Those pictures are still in the box, because they were a happy part of his life, but they are in a box, he closed and put away that time in his life. From now on, put those thoughts with that box, put a lid on it and put away. Now enjoy the rest of your life with a man who loves you.

Answer 4

Some people have to go through a phase of partying and dating lots of different people before they are ready to settle down and be in a committed relationship. It's perfectly normal that he has that past and you don't- that's okay!

I'm sure you are exaggerating- they cannot all be so much prettier than you. You should have a better self-esteem than that because he is obviously in love with you! He's going to marry you- not any of those other girls. Just remind yourself that YOU are the one he is marrying. The other girls obviously weren't the one for him- you are!

Answer 5

First things first, you can't change the past. His or yours. So you need to focus on the present and the future.

Think of it this way, out of all those "pretty, thin ex-girlfriends" you're the one who he's going to marry. That says alot about you.

Stop stressing about the past, ask him to either get rid of the pics or put them far away in storage, stop looking at them!

Good Luck and remember you're the one who gets to spend the rest of your life with him, not the ex's.

Answer 6

Hi he wouldnt be with you if you werent something special, all those other girls didnt have what he was looking for obviously. But hes engaged to you so dont live in the past enjoy your life now, your still young and in love good Luck! and congrats on your engagement!!!

Answer 7

I think that if he is engaged to you than he obviously doesn't want to be with those other women. Don't regret your sheltered life, life is too short for regrets, go out and live now for all of those years you weren't living. Have fun!!

Answer 8

if u regret u lived a sheltered life then go out now with ur fiance to do all those fun things
mayb thatll get the pics outa ur mind but if it dont talk to im bout it
itll definitly make u feel better(or for the best)
GOOD LUCK!!!

Answer 9

First of all obivously he thinks that you are pretty or he wouldn't be with you, and second off that was probably just a phase he was going through, and he grew out of it. People do get older and more mature, and their lifestyles change. It's a part of growing up. Know that he wouldn't be with you if you were/are not what he wanted. I wouldn't spend another moment thinking about it, and I would just know that you are what he wants now or he wouldn't be with you. It'll be fine girl....

Answer 10

even though he looks happy and u were sheltered all ur life, all u have 2 remember is he picked u. i have pictures of exs but i'm happy with my fiance. those pictures don't mean anything except my past. i wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 11

You should talk to him about it, just for the reassurance.

Look at it this way: out of all the pretty, skinny girls he's dated, you're the one he's chosen to spend his life with. He loves you more than he ever cared about any of them, and to him, you are the most amazing woman he has ever met. If this wasn't true, he wouldn't be marrying you.