Why can't he listen? Am I really so boring?

Question

He could talk all day long, but his attention span lasts about 10 seconds for my stories before he interupts to talk about himself or turns his head to the TV. I've never had this happen before! He says he has feelings for me and I believe him, cuz he could find another girl easily, so why is he not interested?

Answer 1

As another user mentioned, if he could "easily" find another girl, he probably isn't used to NEEDING to pay attention. It sounds as if he's more than a little self-centered, but that can be remedied if you explain your feelings and he's willing to work with you.

Sometimes if a couple is having a hard time actually talking about an issue, writing a letter can help--and if he's reading something rather than "listening", he can't just look away and tune you out. Just be careful not to seem as if you're attacking him; say things like "I feel that you aren't interested in what I have to say, and it worries me." Don't be accusatory or whiny, just honest; guys aren't mind-readers, and most of the time they have to be explicitly TOLD what we need.

And finally, if he can't or won't come around to giving you his attention when you need it...it may be time to say goodbye. Whether he has "feelings" for you or not, there's no reason for you to feel alone in a relationship, and you deserve better.

Hope this helped, and wasn't too harsh!

Answer 2

maybe he has had a long day, but yea true if he is talking about himself a whole lot more he should throw in some time for you to speak your mind and give you as much attention as you have given him for his storytime...so yea have a talk with him let him know how critical the situation is Tv and all off,except the lights you need those on and make sure he is giving you some good eye contact...and remember ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS always

Answer 3

Well, if he could find another girl easily, I'd guess that he's never had to listen in order to get what he wants out of the relationship. Why think about someone else when everyone seems to be willing to think about only you?

Answer 4

ignore the trolls, that is an interesting question, you know me being a guy has done the exact same thing *this is gonna make me look like a jerk* sometimes we get so occupied in something it's hard to concentrate. Now if he does all the time you should slap him that is just plain rude, with me though i noticed that my ex always wanted to talk to me while i was doing something, almost as if she was trying to distract me. It also seem like every time i wanted to talk to her she didn't want to listen. communication is very important in a relationship, so is understanding. THAT IS TRUE! most of us don't actively listen, I'm one of them i can hear what you are saying though =)

Answer 5

Men don't active listen. When you talk to women, they usually nod their head or say "uh-huh" when you're talking to let you know that they are listening. Guys are different. They don't give you signs that they are listening. That's why they watch tv or don't look at you when you're talking. Most of the time they are listening, but they don't give affirmations. If it really bothers you, you could say, "You know, when you don't look at me when I'm talking to you, it feels like you're not listening." or "Could you turn off the tv for a second, I have something important to talk to you about."

Good Luck!

Answer 6

Now don't take offence but he sounds like he's just selfish. And frankly you shouldn't believe that he has feeling for you just because you think he could easily get another girl but he's with you.

Answer 7

In my opinion he may suffer from adult attention deficit disorder or he could be a self absorbed loner. In any case you should bring this up to him.

Answer 8

He's just conceited and self-centered you're not boring at all just try harder at getting his attention and u will be fine

Answer 9

God, your question is boring me soooooo much...