My boyfriend and I have been together for around a year, he always is telling me how much he loves me, and that he can't wait until we get married, but there are a few issues I have with him, he never buys flowers, says he doesn't celebrate valentines day, our first. We also do not have sex, because he says it makes him feel guilty, like he's doing something wrong, I don't understand, he is in his 20's, when we first started sleeping together it was all the time, then he pulls this thing where he says it makes him feel bad and guilty, what is wrong. I don't understand. I'm such a girly girl too, and he knows I love flowers and stuff, what is wrong with me? Is this normal??
2007-02-16 08:14:01 · 12 answers · asked by katrina 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My boyfriend and I have been together for around a year, he always is telling me how much he loves me, and that he can't wait until we get married, but there are a few issues I have with him, he never buys flowers, says he doesn't celebrate valentines day, our first. We also do not have sex, because he says it makes him feel guilty, like he's doing something wrong, I don't understand, he is in his 20's, when we first started sleeping together it was all the time, then he pulls this thing where he says it makes him feel bad and guilty, what is wrong. I don't understand. I'm such a girly girl too, and he knows I love flowers and stuff, what is wrong with me? Is this normal?? ....he does say he wishes he would have waited until marriage, but I guess I just don't understand, he will sometimes slip & let things get carried away once in a great while, we are with each other everyday so I don't know how he could cheat? I don't know I'm lost with this...
2007-02-16 08:25:24 · update #1
There's probably nothing wrong with you. Maybe he doesn't like Valentine's day because it seems like an excuse for people to buy cards & candy and he wants your love to be real, not like some Hallmark holiday. If he doesn't want to have sex but he still wants to stay with you then that is GOOD! He must really love you for who you are. He may be feeling like the right thing to do is to wait until marriage to have sex. Maybe he feels like your love will be more real and more worth it. There's nothing wrong with that!
As for buying you cards & flowers and stuff....if he knows that would mean a lot to you, then he should do it every once in a while. Maybe he doesn't realize how much it would mean to you if he gave you flowers. Have a friend or someone give him the hint- there's nothing wrong with that!
Good luck!
2007-02-16 08:20:58 · answer #1 · answered by Cristina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you. I would speak with him, talk to his heart and tell him your concerns. It is okay to want flowers, and I don't think a guy should buy them every holiday or every time you have a fight, because then when you get them it will remind you of the fight and it ruins it. I think flowers and things like that mean more when they are given on just a normal, boring, nothing day, the ones that are given out of the blue. I got flowers from someone awhile back and it was just because he thought about me, that was over a year ago, now nothing. I understand the girly girl stuff, valentines I think is a scam, personally flowers die, chocolate makes you gain weight but a card, something is important just so you know that they thought that you meant enough or that they thought about you and your love for a short time. As for the intimacy, definitely ask him
2007-02-16 16:20:49 · answer #2 · answered by Cute Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have explained to him that you enjoy receiving flowers and celebrating holidays such as Valentine's day, then the problem is his. Feeling Guilty now about having sex. I think that this boyfriend of yours is seeing someone else and has rooted feelings for this other person. If you have discussed all of these issues with him and his answers are not ones you would expect to be getting after a year of dating; I suggest you move on without him. Life is to short to be asking yourself if the problem is you!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-02-16 16:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by Darlin1_66 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont think the problem is with you. I think its with him. Even sounds like he could be cheating. Obviously religion has nothing to do with this problem cause you two have already had sex. So it must be some other issue. I would have a serious talk with him. Especially if you guys intend to get married. Its very important to know your other half well before tieing the knot.
2007-02-16 16:22:49 · answer #4 · answered by Smarty Pants™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Katrina listen up...to a young man such as myself, actions speak louder then words if he really Loves you he'd buy flowers and he would celebrate Valentine's Day just for you...now the no sex thing i.d.k on that one
but remember sex doesn't always prove how much you Love someone its those things that he does that make your heart melt (ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS)
2007-02-16 16:26:55 · answer #5 · answered by B.m.W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like something is holding him back from pleasing you. Maybe something is lacking in the sex department. Ask him what's wrong and what can you do to help him or please him. I was in a 4 year relationship with my girl. Our sex life doesn't have the spark anymore. Maybe he wants something more out of sex or something else is bothering him. Good luck!
2007-02-16 16:21:28 · answer #6 · answered by southpark392006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why ask whats wrong with you... maybe its him.... sounds like he is getting out of doing things that show he cares about u... u dont deserve that... and the guilt/sex thing... its wierd... and he has issues... its not you... go find someone that can and is willing to make u happy.
2007-02-16 16:18:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please listen to your heart, if you like someone who shows they love you find him...let this loser go... he's probably cheating on you... no fun being w/someone who doesn't love u the way u need 2 b loved --
2007-02-16 16:17:37 · answer #8 · answered by momof3 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with you except you are with the wrong guy.
2007-02-16 16:17:27 · answer #9 · answered by Whatever 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is a bit insensitive if you can live wit it OK if not say bye bye
2007-02-16 16:17:46 · answer #10 · answered by jinx 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋