Recently I discovered that my boyfriend is ALWAYS online, and he will spend hours every day viewing girls' webcams and chatting with them. His arguement is that he isn't PHYSICALLY cheating, so it's not cheating. My arguement is that if you are cheating in your heart, then it's cheating...and besides, we hooked up from myspace..this could just as easy happen with any of these girls..He says I am crazy and unreasonable...Can I get some feedback, please?? Thoughts?
2007-02-16 06:49:18 · 34 answers · asked by tona c 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes it's cheating! Emotional cheating! He's playing with yours if he's doing that online!!!!!!!
2007-02-16 06:54:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex fiancee is a big on line person. I, and this is just my take, feel that if you are having intimate conversations with a member of the opposite sex, im not just talking about sex, but opinions and feelings about issues that he should be expressing and speaking with you about. It could lead to something more. He had left his IM up one night and someone sent him a an IM and I played along, what I found out was not kosher. I always say don't leave anything to chance. If your in a committed relationship you shouldn't be close friends with a member of the opposite sex. Good luck!
2007-02-16 07:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by Laurie L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think its unreasonable the way that you are feeling. Maybe he just isn't ready for commitment. You really have to have a discussion with him about it though. Because if he won't accept that you don't like his behavior then he is not worth being with. Trust is a huge factor in a relationship, and its very important. Because of what you've said, it doesn't seem like you trust him..which is SOO understandable. So if he doesn't want to work to gain your trust, and he doesn't want to stop spending so much time with his on line friends, then he is not worth it. But before you end it, try talking to him about it. Good Luck
2007-02-16 06:55:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is not physical cheating (yet), but it certainly sounds like emotional(cheating.) Emotional cheating is far worse than physical cheating. He obviously does not care enough about you guys' relationship enough to respect your feelings. Dump him. If the relationship was satisfying enough, he wouldn't be doing what he's doing. And that is not to say it's your fault or you. I am saying, it is him. You do not need a self-centered, attention seeking, thoughtless, etc. guy. You're better than that.
2007-02-16 06:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by kristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, like you said, your from one of his meetings!!! You answered your own question as far as I am concerned. How do you know it's not just one person? Did you two ever have "cyber sex?" Is that cheating? Heck yea!! When two people are totally just into each other-YES Some will argue and say no, because their spouses are in bed sound to sleep.
2007-02-16 06:56:53 · answer #5 · answered by sue d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is technically not cheating until he does something more than talk to one of them. Right now he might as well be looking at porn. He's either 1. Not getting something from you that he needs, or 2. is an immature punk that is not ready for a relationship b/c he can't focus on what makes you happy. You can break up with him b/c he continuously does things you ask him not to or you can live with his little problem.
2007-02-16 06:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by bkweeks2000 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
He's a cybersex addict alright. It worked to get you hooked didn't it?
Porn is cheating and if you take his excuses for it, you may well end up with more than you bargained for by way of S.T.D.'s. Tell him to get lost really fast or to check into a counceling program for sexual addictions (they are really called sins). You should think enough of yourself to save the sexual relations for marriage commitment if you haven't already made that choice at this time. He's definitely not husband or father material it seems.
2007-02-16 08:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by Lovin' Mary's Lamb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is cheating. he sounds like he is a little addicted to the PC. If you guys hooked up from myspace then that just goes to show how accessible girls are to him.
2007-02-16 07:00:58 · answer #8 · answered by uuummk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey girl, i can honestly say i know what your going through and i do believe its cheating. My fiance who i met on blackplanet is still and active member on all of his sites. He has left our bed in the middle of the nite just to get online. I even seen on some of his friends pages that they have his pictures and saying that he is their man, is that deep or what. So with your question, yes its cheating.
2007-02-16 06:55:52 · answer #9 · answered by rdddiamond 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his activities online are affecting your sexual relationship, that is, it has lowered your encounters, then I think it would be considered cheating, because he is putting more energy online than in your own true relationship.
If he does it because the sexual relationship is already low, and he needs an outlet, then I don't know who's to blame.
It's like porn, I guess... Is that cheating? I used to think it was, but my girlfriend drove me to porn by rejecting me so often. So, maybe I'm cheating on my girlfriend when I look at porn, but it stops me from going out and looking for other women to have physical sex with. Like I said, I don't know who to blame, my high sex drive, or her constant rejections.
Actually, I started using porn as a way to lower my sex drive when I'm around her, but I still couldn't keep my hands off her, and she still rarely actually wants it... Now I use it as an outlet for my sexual frustration.
Well, when I read more into your explanation, I think it's wrong for him to do that online with those girls, because he is actually talking to those girls, and getting them to get naked on cam. It's the same as if they were in person. And the fact that the two of you met online, makes your justification completely reasonable. I don't know why he is doing that, either he's not happy in the relationship, or he likes to flirt with girls. If he flirts online, who's to say he doesn't do it in person? And the fact that he's actually talking to these girls brings on an emotional part, and there is such a thing as emotional cheating. That's probably worse than sexual cheating... Both are very wrong, but emotionaly cheating on your partner might mean he is emotionally not happy in the relationship...
2007-02-16 06:52:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
1. Does he say "i love you" to the other girls?
2. Has he met any of the other girls in person?
3. Does he use 'pet' names with the other girls?
4. Does he want you to know about them?
Answers for him to be cheating on you are:
1. Yes
2. Yes
3. Yes
4. No
If the answers are other than that than hes not cheating on you (in my opinion)
2007-02-16 07:02:18 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋