Possible to love your kids too much?

Question

I have one son and I think sometimes that I actually love him too much. I dont ever go places without hiim, he goes to m DR appt with me, i dont get babysitters to go out and do things, I dont leave him with my husband, and I often think to myself if something ever happened to my son I would take my own life. Are these normal thoughts that mothers think or am I just over the top?

for those who asked he is 20 months old

Answer 1

I felt the exact same way with my first one..It is normal...I left my son for the first time with my mother when he was 18 months old and cried the entire two hours we were gone...Looking back it is funny now but then it was real and I thought I would just die without him being with me 24/7....He is 13 and we are still pretty close....My second one is 7 now and I could not give her away when she was little...lol...Just kidding.....You are normal and I would much rather risk loving them too much than not enough...ss

Answer 2

It is impossible to love your child too much but you can be overbearing and smothering if you insist on having your child with you 24/7. You & your child both need your own space, even if it is only a couple of hours a week. It will help maintain your state of mind and encourage your child to develop their own traits.

My son & I are usually together as my hubby is out of town from Monday - Friday. Now that he is a little older (3) he plays with his toys & is great at pretend. He can create anything he wants and can play in his make believe world for hours. You can be together but not joined at the hip. It may however get to be more difficult when it is time to go to school & your child cannot function without you.

So take a step back, get a sitter, take a hour to do something you haven't in awhile (gym, salon, grocery shopping) and relax. Your child will not disown you because you left for a hour. Kids won't be kids for long & will soon have their own friends & priorities. Cherish the time you have now but don't obsess over it. And most importantly...enjoy each other!!

Answer 3

Never, ever, ever, ever!

Yes every mother has those fears, but you don't do your children justice by having them be so needy and clingy to you. Your fears can be a little over the top.

The way I look at it is that if something does happen to you, you want your kids to be able to trust in others and not be "ruined" by your loss. A little independence is good.

My kids are clingy and when we watch tv they all fight over who gets to sit next to me. But they run out that door when there is something for them to do that they like. They never say no to fun because they are afraid of letting go of my hand. That's not a good thing and you should encourage independence for your own sake.

My son had cancer and was on chemo this past summer. My fear was so great that I hardly wanted to let him out the door. When he went to cancer camp for 2 weeks I thought I would die with worry.

However, he came back totally changed and so mature and independent. Those moments are hard to deal with but at some point we have to give our children wings, despite how much we love them and how painful it is for us...that's when a nice bottle of wine comes in handy...*S* In letting go, nothing really changes, just that they and you both gain more confidence and strength.

What's most frightening is the realization that we will not always be here. I don't think we ever think of those possibilities before you have kids and the depth of our love for them takes your breath away.

Answer 4

This truly is a first child thing. I was soooo that way with my first born. It gets put into perspective when you have the next one. Not that you don't have the same love, it just shifts somehow and becomes more healthy. Don't worry about it. Just make real efforts to separate yourself a little bit at a time and know that he doesn't really belong to you, but he belongs to God , and HE knows every minute of his life before he even lives it, so you really don't need to worry.

Answer 5

You can never love your son too much. there's no such thing as too much love as long as you remember to discipline your child. This is normal of all mothers. I do think that you might be oversheltering him a little bit so if he wants to come along with you fine, but make sure he's spending time with friends and socializing and things like that.

Answer 6

Sounds like a something rare in the world. I think it is healthy, but not letting your husband have time with him alone is about cooky. When he grows up, and tells you that he wants to have some private moments to himself, you better give him some distance. But then again, you don't want him to be a mama's boy. It is important for there both to be nurturing mother, and a caring father so that he is brought up with some balance.

Answer 7

specific unquestionably. My buddy Jen loves young babies yet does not desire to be a mom. She has nieces and nephews nonetheless and loves babysitting them. Its wonderful extremely... you get the suited of the youngsters once you prefer to work out them yet you do no longer could cope with the undesirable stuff, in basic terms provide em decrease back! Ha. i'm undecided individually if i'll desire young babies or no longer yet i'm excited for my sister's toddler to come lower back in December!

Answer 8

how old is he to begin with. If hes little, there is no way. Also you cant LOVE them to much, but you can spoil them to much. My fiance was so spoiled as a child and his mother did everything for him, not he does not want to do anything, he thinks i can do everything with no help, so if you want to save his future and a possible relationship with a woman, let him have his space and learn responsibility.

Answer 9

Yes. My mom is the same thing. My Mom is exactly like you. But maybe you should give him just a little space. My mom loves me but she knows that she has to let me go someday. Even though... it hasn't happened yet...

Answer 10

I think that you just really love your child very much. It's a natural instinct to want to protect them at all costs. You can never love too much.. I think that your child is very lucky to be loved so much.