Aside from the cliche answer of "just ask God", what practical steps can I take to humble myself toward another person? There is a person at work I utterly despise because he is the most pompous person I have ever met, and tries to make me look like an 4$$ even when he makes the mistake. I find myself thinking bitter thoughts toward him, and I know it is not good to do so. Believers (of any variety)...unbelievers...got any advice? I'd rather not "talk to him" about it...I prefer a less confrontational approach. I'm just not sure what I can do aside from that. Can you think of any other ways of eliminating these thoughts toward him?
2007-02-16 06:33:41 · 9 answers · asked by Guvo 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
People like this man can be very corrosive! It may just be time for you to try to change your workplace. If they can hire and tollerate someone like this then it just might be a toxic place to work in. I could suggest set the goal of not reacting to him and then just practicing your actions over and over, but I really sense that this is just too much to ask of you or anyone. Could you change your job?
2007-02-16 06:40:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, here is a fool proof way to unsettle this pompous jerk. I have been working in a high pressure sales environment for years, and we always have our share of Jerks.
The best way to stop this type of behavior, is by highlighting some of his strengths to your boss and his friends. Find out who he gets along with at work, and make a point of telling them something that he does well. With your boss you may want to mention that you like they way he does something, or have learned a new technique from him.
Don't smooze with him at all. This is a very tough thing to do, because chances are, he is such a jerk, that you will have problems thinking about anything good. Once again, don't let him know you are doing this, and don't try to be his friend, he will interpret that as weakness. If you say or do something that will make him look good to his boss or his friends, without apparent benefit to you, he will start to change.
The best part of this tactic is that if he continues to act in the same way, his influence will be lessened in the eyes of his friends and more importantly in the eyes of his boss.
It will drive him crazy at first, but if you keep at it he will change. Its tough, but well worth the effort as in the end he will belong to you.
2007-02-16 14:43:02 · answer #2 · answered by ɹɐǝɟsuɐs Blessed Cheese Maker 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break the ties of resentment and anger you feel toward that person, as you would have him do the same to you--this is a rough translation of the Aramaic lines "Wehlan tatsun linesuna, Elan patsam min bisha"--from the Lord's Prayer (usually translated as "forgive us our trespasses....")
There are several ways to break this tie you have with the chap. One is to visualize the tie you have with him as a physical tie--a rope or ribbon. Then picture yourself cutting that rope. See it falling to the ground.
Another way is to write down every bad thing you feel towards this person. Put the paper in a bowl and burn it up.
One way that helped me enormously one time when a person lied to get me in trouble and almost lose my job: I started praying for that person. I asked that the person be purified. It was about a month, and I found my resentment towards him had vanished.
Hope these ideas help.
2007-02-16 14:43:37 · answer #3 · answered by KCBA 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking the impossible. Only you can fix this. You control your thoughts, not him. You decide what to think and when to think it. What I do is look at who is making the statement before I even hear it. If he blames you for the bad weather , you could get mad ,wish him dead or say to yourself , "what a shame...poor guy" and shrug your shoulders. People like that should be pittied. He made a decision to be the way he is instead of gaining your friendship...but you decided to let it hurt you. Search and read the Serenity prayer...it may help.
2007-02-16 14:46:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if u are a believer and i am not a firm believer either. But i always keep in mind that popular saying- As u sow, so shall u reap.
if this guy is mean, then one day he will pay for it.By being bitter u are tormenting yourself. he is not affected in any way. in-fact u are giving him undue importance by giving him so much thought. he does not deserve it.
so i would suggest that whenever he does something mean, just tell yourself " he is screwed" and then try counting nos or hum ur favorite song in ur head to calm yourself down.
i hope this helps.
2007-02-16 14:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, you are wasting way too much energy on this guy.
You need to let go of the negativity. You don't need to be his friend, or even be social to him. Just think and say to yourself, I'm way better than that person to waste time thinking about how bitter he makes me feel.
2007-02-16 14:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by firewitch 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every job I ever had, had at least one, um, 4$$ to use your term. You just sort of work around them and focus on the good bits.
2007-02-16 14:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
put a little bit of salt or sugar on them. that'll give em some flavor.
i personally ignore them...
depends on what position im in. i will tell someone off if it bugs me enough. but i got quite a long fuse, but i do explode rather large ^^
2007-02-16 14:35:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do your job the best you know earn his respect.
2007-02-16 14:40:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋