I've been dating this guy for about a month and a half (im 20, hes24). And Since we became "official" a week ago,I started to get VERY jealous.He is very friendly with his friends and it really bugs me,I know they've all been friends for a while, but it still does.I told him before we started dating that I was a very jealous person and he said he was ok with that.Last night i yelled at one of his female friends when we were at the bar when i saw her hugging him inappropriately .He got really angry with me and said I embarrassed him.when I asked him if this was "it"he said no,but it is all up to me.He said he wants whatever I want and that I should know how strongly he feels about me but I could tell he was acting distant.When I left last night he told me to call him when I got home(30min drive).I did,but he didnt pick up.He works today at 8am,so ive text him saying sorry,and called him,still no answer.What do u think and what should I do now?I want to talk to him tonight in person...
2007-02-16 06:32:18 · 27 answers · asked by kimmy_717 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
U shdnt be jealous as long as his frnds are good.but if it is inappropriate then u can ask for sure.Personally i feel that he shd apologize to u as it was his fault to hug a girl.i personally dont feel that he really loves u nor does he have any good intentions towards u or else he wud hav taken the call or tried to pasify u.
u r not the one who shd call him but he shd call & apologize.by the word "official" i believe that it is let known to everybody that u r dating him.Then surely he did the embarassing thing to hug a girl in a public place.
2007-02-16 06:43:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really don't want to sound mean but you sound a tad desperate to me. I won't lie I suppose some people could say that I am a jealous person. I am married to a wonderful man who can't walk two feet without getting hit on. So I understand the whole jealousy thing. My issue is you sound needy and jealous. He SAYS he wants whatever you want but are his actions showing you that he does? I don't feel its appropriate for a guy in a relationship to be all up on another girl. Why if he is so into you would he be acting that way with other females EVEN if they are "friends." Calling and texting this guy over and over appears needy. He may get the idea that regardless of how he treats you you will come crawling back saying you are sorry. On the other hand its not okay to freak out on one of his friends either. I think if he is willing to act like a man in a relationship and you are willing to trust him THEN and only then would this work. Otherwise I would move on and find myself a man that doesn't feel up other chicks.
2007-02-16 06:44:45 · answer #2 · answered by fire_goddess444 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I dunno...you might be psycho and blowing things way out of proportion, but regardless...you asked...I'll answer.
First off, the mention that he partakes and condones these behavior and actions is a clue that he is still in the "boy" mentality of life. Call me old school, but a MAN doesn't act in manners that would even remotely be considered "flirting" especially in front of his lady. His friends that you speak of should respect that as well and not act like that either in front of you.
You are both very young and it is possible that you might also be carrying those lingering effects of "high school" and "college" type relationships.
As for you...there is no need to be jealous if you have total trust in the guy. Apparently either he hasn't proven to you that he can be trusted. Maybe he can, but it seems in your minds eye, he cant.
Since you've called and left messages for him this morning...DO NOT ATTEMPT TO CONTACT HIM ANYMORE TODAY. Last thing he wants is someone nagging him today. Wait for him to call you. And don't freak out if he doesn't call you today or tonight and even tomorrow. Don't b*tch at him either for taking so long to call you when and if he does call you. Just talk.
Anyway, good luck.
Dave
2007-02-16 06:50:13 · answer #3 · answered by Dave R 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Having been on both sides of this coin, I can understand what you're going through, but you have to realize most of this is you. When I was younger, I destroyed an awesome relationship by being jealous of a girl and her friends - they hugged and joked around, but I was too jealous to see the friendship closeness - all I could see was someone else hugging and kissing my girlfriend.
The other side of the coin-My friends are my family, and we're close, hugs and kisses between us are not sexual in any way. Hypocritical - until I purged the jealousy completely (which wasn't easy) but it started by putting myself in her shoes and comparing her friendship with her friends to mine. Maybe you should start there??
Definitely talk to him face to face and let him know how you feel and that you are trying!
Good Luck!
Aloha!!
2007-02-16 06:43:44 · answer #4 · answered by gabriel_demus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is usually borne from insecurity. The problem is yours and you need to examine the reasons you feel the way you do. It is not fair to expect him to change his behaviour if he is not doing anything wrong. It is an overreaction to shout at a female friend for hugging him and embaressed both of you, not just your boyfriend. Maybe you could either talk to your boyfriend about why you feel insecure or consider counselling if this has been a longstanding problem. Sort it out before you lose him.
2007-02-16 06:39:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You better slow your roll little girl. Don't get between him and his friends. NOT COOL AT ALL!!!!! Who gives a sh it if he was hugging a friend of his that was a girl??!!!!! That's what "friends" do. Either get a grip, or just leave the guy alone. No one deserves to have a psycho for a gf. You might just want to leave him now. You've showed your true colors. And now, all his friends have talked about you. And I'm gonna guess it's not good. You will NEVER be let in his circle again.
2007-02-16 06:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by Gasman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen very carefully to what I type there Are 2 things a guy needs to be happy in a relationship. He needs to know he is good in bed, and he needs to have the respect of his friends, if he doesn't have either one of these the relationship will fail. So grow up and get some self respect for yourself not to yell at his friend when your out having a good time. It makes you and him look bad. And if he looks bad he will lose respect and then it will be over between you 2 trust me.
2007-02-16 06:39:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget him. Seems you are the too jealous type and if you had a gun on you, no telling what you might do. Now if a gf, hugs him inapproiately then he should make sure that this does not happen. Since he did it with you there, seems either he does not care or you got too jealous.
Him not returning calls is his way to make you squirm and maybe hoping you will call it off. Hopefully, he will tell you goodbye cuz you sound like a too jealous person to me. He probably can not handle that.
2007-02-16 06:38:52 · answer #8 · answered by Big C 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Girl, dont waste your time! He doesnt care about you.
First of all, there's no need for another girl to be huggin' him... What ever happened to hand shakes??!
Anyway, if he loved you, he would understand that this makes you feel uncomfortable.... He knows its wrong and if he loved you, he'd feel the same way if another guy was huggin' on you.
You made a BIG mistake by saying "sorry". He should be saying sorry....... You have just told him its ok for him to hug on other girls and that it was just dumb from your part to react the way you did, which you know it wasnt!
Let him go and find someone better. There are better guys out there..... It takes time to find them, 'cause they're rare, but they're there... really! :)
2007-02-16 06:41:44 · answer #9 · answered by Java Chip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need a lot of help and some serious medication. If you cant trust anybody, how do you expect to ever fall in love or have a meaningful relationship. This guys obviously cares for you but if you embarass him like that, you are garaunteed one nasty split and a broken heart.
Trust him, and if you cant, dont even try to love again.
Love can only be achieved when both sides are vunerable.
2007-02-16 06:41:18 · answer #10 · answered by erod 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋