How can I get rid of my daughter's deadbeat boyfriend?

Question

My daughter is dating a no good for nothing piece of garbage. I don't know what to do to make her see how dumb she is being for staying with him. She lives at home, works and goes to college. She is very respectful to me and we have a loving relationship, I just cannot stand her boyfriend.....and no it isn't that mommy can't let go, she has had other boyfriends that I did approve of. This one can't hold a job, drinks, can't even grow a set of balls big enough to pick her up at the house for a date, she has to go meet him places. I hate that she thinks this is all she is worth

Answer 1

go on parental control.

Answer 2

I feel for u. Mine is living with a no good boyfriend. In a years time he has been arrested 3 times. First time was a felony conviction for stealing out of his familys house.
But of course he said he didn't, but admitted to being on drugs. Second time police planted drugs on him got off because no probably cause to pull him over. Now arrested again by same police who are harrasing him who planted more drugs on him. Of course none of them are his fault, he is being harrased by the police. Yea right. My daugher believes this and still wants to make it work. He is ruining her life and her whole family will have nothing to do with him. I have yelled threatened, tried to be nice. Nothing works. He has had 6 jobs in a year, always an excuse not is fault. The problem is she is of age and on her own. Your's still lives at home, I don't even know if refusing her to see him will work, when mine lived at home she just snuk around. We tried helping him have a better life he screws everything up. She has now cosigned a car for him that has been impounded twice because of this mess. So I don't know if she will ever wake up until something bad happens. Try what you can you don't want this life for your daugher.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, sweetie, just because she is a bright girl, doesn't mean that she has any taste in men, and if she has no insight, and cannot see what continuing with this guy might be like, you are rather stuck.... the more moms tell their daughters what jerks they are dating, the more the girl will defend this jerk, dig in her heels, and try to prove you wrong.... and of course, they can't.. they just make the mistake of marrying this type of guy, just to show you, have a few kids, the he leaves, and only toooooo late will she write one of those long sad tales that appear on this site....

But, hon, this is what my mom told me when I once started to date a jerk, and it sunk in big time..... In a little while, I dumped the guy, and never made an error that would not be easily corrected.... I married a nice man, finished school, got and kept great jobs, and got to retire at 48!!!!! give her this little note from my mom:


1. The most important decision you will ever make is who you marry... choose well. (and my dad added "never shop in a store you are not going to buy in."
2. Make me a mother in law before you make me a grandmother.
3. Have no children until your marriage is strong, and you are committed to it.. Children can destroy anything, even a marriage. Never have children you yourself cannot support by your own efforts...life is hell without enough money....
4. Finish your education, even if you have to work during the day, and go to school at night. Marriage is not a life-time meal ticket. You will have to work sometime during your life---maybe for decades. Get paid for it.
5. Always have a stash of cash that no one knows about even if you know you will never need it.... you will, and the more the better.

Thank you mom.... I love you for this conversation we had so long ago.....

Answer 4

Have you talked to her about this. Sounds like you are honest and open with her, so tell her how you feel. Honestly i don't think there is anything you can do. If you do something bad you may risk losing your daughter.

All i can say is just be there for her, don't interfere and hopefully she will see what a loser he is..

Good luck

Answer 5

Here is what you shouldn't do... don't tell here what you just wrote... doing so will make her cling harder...

build up her self-esteeem... and she will not need him... attack her for dating such trash and you only make her need him more...

ask her questions about her 5 year plan... her 1 year plan... get her thinking about her future... those things will make her question if this deadbeat fits in those plans...

Answer 6

How old is she? If she's over 18, there's not much you can do. If she's under 18, lay down the law.

Answer 7

It has to be really tough because you love your daughter so much and only want the best for her. My mom warned me about my ex and i did not listen. I should have because he really did a number on me. while it will hurt, you need to let her do this one on her own. She will soon enough realize what a jerk he is and that she can do better. Just try to be there for her when she needs you.

Answer 8

IT SOUNDS LIKE LATE REBELLION IF U ASK ME, SHE PROBABLY KNOWS THIS GUY SENDS CHILLS UP UR SPINE AND THE FACT THAT SHE'S DATING HIM ,IDK. UH WELL TALK TO HER, AND LOSE THE WHOLE "DUMB" THING OK! SEE IF THERE'S ANYTHING GOING ON IN HER LIFE, ALSO IT COULD JUST BE HER WAY OF TRYNNA TASTE THE OTHER END OF THE STICK TO SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE. U SAY SHE'S SENSIBLE, SO SOONEROR LATER I'M SURE HSE'LL COME AROUND, LET HER MAKE HER MISTAKES, SHE'LL GROW AND LEARN, OR JUST DO WHAT MOTHER'S USUALLY DO AND TELL IT TO HER LIKE IT IS, BUT WITH CONCERN! NOT DISAPPROVAL! MAYBE SHE THINKS SHE CAN CHANGE HIM, MAYBE SHE SEES QUALITIES IN HIM THAT MOST WOULDN'T DARE SEE OR EVEN CARE TO SEE AND IS JUST WAITING FOR THEM TO EXUDE! IDK I'M JUST THROWING STUFF OUT THERE, BEST OF LUCK!

Answer 9

Just keep showing her love im sure she will come to her senses soon enough.Your concerned looks r enough dont get into a dispute about it or u might put a wedge between the 2 of u.

Answer 10

Find a bunch of illegal porn of the net, and other illegal such as bomb making instructions a copy of the Koran, and a bunch of anti american hate mongering writings, put it all in the trunk of his car and then call the police give them the make and color of vehicale, and the license plate number, that should get rid of him real good

Answer 11

she might be dating him because she knows you dont like him pretend to like him and she'll get board and dump him if thats not it i dont know