My 4 year old son wont play with my new husband?

Question

anytime my husband trys to play with him he just crys for me and it hurts my husbands feelings, so he then buys him stuff to try to bribe him. How can i explain to my son that it is ok to have a daddy and a step dad, and play with both of them.

Answer 1

this is very normal. he misses his real dad and feels like accepting your husband is rejecting his father. of course that's illogical but kids are kids. buying the boy stuff won't help, as i'm sure you've noticed. he'll accept them and have fun probably but it won't change his feelings much if at all. if your son's behavior hurts your husbands feelings he should show it- even exaggerate it. if he were to break down and cry that would be good. your son would probably feel guilty and comfort your husband. that sympathy would be a first, tiny step in the direction of your son accepting your husband as a human being. if not that, then some other situation where your husband got help from your son would be a good start. after that, your son would be a lot more open to the idea of being able to trust and depend on this new father figure in his life. good luck. this will take some time. you're a good mom for reaching out for help. i'm sure this isn't the 1st place you've looked.

Answer 2

Ok if this is your new husband didnt you date this man before you married him? So wasnt there a gradual meeting point? I am a single mother of a 2 year old and a 3 year old. I introduced them to him slowly. My children adore my finance. I didnt just throw him in there tho ether! He never bought them to bribe them hes 4 hes not dumb. You cant buy a childs love. He needs to set his own feelings and pride aside actually try to connect with your son. Plus my 2 year old son is quite a mamas boy. So some time you have to be the one to walk away and let your husband do some of the parenting. If he crys for you i know it sounds mean but tell him he is fine and carry on for awhile. Give your husband a shot at being a dad!

Answer 3

Explain nothing. Let nature work it's magic. Themore that your son sees his new step dad taking care of you, hugging you, being kind and gentle, the closer he will get.

The more you are all in the same place and he can begin to see that this man means him no harm, the closer he will be able to be.

Don't push it. Just have your husband be there and be a good dad as the kid grows.

Answer 4

You could try to have your new husband sit on the floor and play with a new toy and act like he is having fun, then your son might want to join in. Or have you husband sit and carttons with your son. Small baby steps usually work.

Answer 5

i'm sorry you're dealing with this. Parenting would properly be complicated and a excitement mutually. apparently your son perhaps ADHD. think ofyou've got to take him to the medical professional quickly for his 4/5 year previous examine up in the previous he is going to kindergarten. this may be an effective time to sit down including your medical professional and tell him what has been occurring. He/she will maximum in all probability have you ever and instructors fill out workplace paintings/questionaire about his each and on a daily basis conduct and habit and then inspect from there. I comprehend your husbands situation about putting children on meds. Our u . s . has used ADHD as an excuse for poor parenting or lazy educators, yet there are trully children who're ADHD and earnings. And if he's, you may have therapists, instructors, or counselors who can help you and your son discover approaches to learn and use strength of will which will make existence a lot less complicated for HIM. My nephew grow to be clinically determined with ADHD. he's 16 now. immediately A student, well mannered, tremendous to be round. He now no longer takes drugs and hasn't for years. yet as a youthful newborn it grow to be terrible to observe my sister attempt each and everything she knew the thanks to regulate him. exceptionally at the same time as she had an older daughter who grow to be completely properly behaved. It grow to be like a miracle. (and that i trust medicade will pay for it.) solid success. Dizedd is ideal. The community public college equipment is had to have children examined for dissimilar issues. bypass to the Board of steerage or the undemanding college he will attend next 3 hundred and sixty 5 days and discover out who you want to speak to. you've that actual.

Answer 6

At four there is no way to explain this, because he will not be able to comprehend this from you verbally. Maybe you should try both playing with your son at the same time, that way it reiforces to your son that it is okay. The best prescription is going to be time, you son will probably develope a relationship with your new spouse on his own time.

Answer 7

Your little one has to have control over this relationship. At that age they strive so hard for indepenence and desire to have control. Having his mom get married to someone that is not his dad is not his choice of course. He needs to have a say in something about his life. You can make him like the man. It has to be on your sons terms. Your husbands feelings need to take a back seat in this situation.

Stop buying him things. This just enforces the behavior.

You might need to have your son see a therapist, someone that will listen to him and him only. Someone he can voice himself to, someone that doesn't have all the control over his life, like his mother. Maybe the whole family needs to be involved.

Answer 8

Maybe your son doesn't like him. Wouldn't you want to make sure your son likes who he is going to live with before you marry him? What if you ask your son in private how he feels about your husband? There could be more to it than your son not wanting a second daddy.

Answer 9

Your new husband just has to earn his respect. It might take a while, but buying him stuff isn't helping him out any...might actually be making it worse. He has to just let him come around in his own time. But, for the best interest of both of them, you have to step out of the situation and let them work it out between themselves. Let them be "men" together and do what "men" do.

Answer 10

your son is normal for doing this. he is not totally sure about the step-dad and so he doesn't like to be around him. give him some time. he will come around. let him do it on his own. do not force him because that will only make him take longer to come around. it is just something that he has to do in his own time. hope this helps. good luck.