I'm getting married in a year and my fiance and I plan on paying for the best man and groomsman tux rentals and the dresses for the maid of honor, bridesmaid, and the two flowergirls.....Plus, the groomsman is the dad of both flower girls....so my question is...is it wrong to say that we will pay for all of this but we would like to keep the flowergirl dresses afterwards? (they are my fiance's nieces...just in case that makes a difference)
2007-02-16 05:59:35 · 16 answers · asked by goaliegirl87 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Some of you are being pretty snappy. Maybe that is my fault for not providing enough info. They will have a one year old around this time and they do not have much money to begin with. My fiance wants them to be flower girls and their dad to be a groomsman..They wouldn't be able to afford the dresses and tux rental. We haven't offered to pay yet, nor have we even discussed them being in the wedding party. I just needed to know beforehand what people thought. I just figured that it wouldnt be a big deal as long as they weren't having to fork out any money that they don't have.
2007-02-16 07:58:51 · update #1
well you paid for them and you should get to keep them, tell them this up-front tho, just offer to pay and say we would like to keep them afterwards tho! I would totally understand, and you can sell them on Ebay or something and get some of your money back out of them! You are doin them a favor and since the dresses would technically be yours then you have every right to them, just be polite and tactful and I think you will be fine, congrats!
2007-02-16 08:39:19 · answer #1 · answered by ASH 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Um, no, if you pay for them you have a right to keep them, but I have two questions of my own? 1. Why would you WANT to keep two little girl dresses? And 2, why would you agree to pay for all those expenses. They are NICE but are no way your obligation to purchase. People understand that when you ask them to be in your wedding, that it's a FAVOR and that they are required to pay for their own attire (all except the best man, for some strange reason, the couple is responsible for the price of the Best Man's tux, I have no idea. The MOH doesn't get the same privilege). Anyway, I guess it's okay to say you want to keep them, but admittedly it seems a bit tacky.
2007-02-16 14:56:03 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooooh...that's a tough question. I think the groomsman/dad would probably understand, but what about the little girls you will be taking the dresses from? Are they young enough that they won't care/will forget? I think it might be hard to explain to them why they have to give them back. Little girls are touchy about that kind of thing. :)
2007-02-16 14:06:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's wrong. What are you going to do with flower girl dresses?? Let the little girls keep their dresses. Can you imagine how they'll feel if you come around to take their dress away after the wedding? That's tacky and mean.
2007-02-16 14:17:28 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is rude and tacky. Why would you want to take the dresses back after they have worn them? Are you honestly going to give them to another little girl or your own child. Even if they are second hand from your nieces, are you going to give someone else's child or your own used clothing. Second, if you plan to sell the after that's also tacky. If you couldn't afford the expense, you shouldn't have offered. No one would have been offended if they had to buy/rent their attire. It is very common.
Lastly, you should think about those poor little girls. They may want to keep their attire so they can play dress up. They won't understand why they have to give them back. That's like giving candy to a baby, and then taking it away.
Just let them keep them.
2007-02-16 14:11:52 · answer #5 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
No it's not. You paid for them. Just explain up front that you'll be picking the dress out, paying for them and that you want them back after the ceremony. If it's something like you want your daughters to wear them, tell them the reason. If they know from the get-go, it's no big deal.
2007-02-16 14:03:19 · answer #6 · answered by Jamie T 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
why would you want to keep the flower girls dresses? the dresses can be an important keepsake for the girls as they grow older. if you are doing it because you are afraid the dresses will be ruined then perhaps you should look into cheaper dresses.
2007-02-16 14:06:41 · answer #7 · answered by simplyme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you like to keep the flower girls dresses, just to put them in your closet?
See website for free wedding etiquette advise.
2007-02-16 14:06:09 · answer #8 · answered by Golden Smile 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow, I think that is pretty mean. Those little girls are going to feel like princesses that day in their fancy dresses, and your going to take them away?
2007-02-16 14:21:31 · answer #9 · answered by Lynny K 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think that if you pay for them you should be able to keep them, if they want them then tell them that they need to pay for them...but why do you want the dresses anyways?
2007-02-16 14:07:35 · answer #10 · answered by Shina Beana 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋