Ummm,,,the thing is, I'm a cutter. I have never told anyone except online because nobody knows who i am on the 'net. One friend found out on his own. Thats irrelevant, but anyway, i dont know whether to tell him now, before we get too attached, or wait till later. I'm scared he'll bolt when he finds out. I prefer to never tell him, but its kinda hard to be close to someone and him not see your scars. Plus will it help if i say (truthfully) that i havent done any major cutting in a month? Please advise!
2007-02-16 05:58:01 · 9 answers · asked by allykat87 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
You go NOW and tell a grown up...or if you are old enough yourself, that you need to see a psychologist right now on an emergency basis.
The person you are in the first stages of a relationship with MUST know about this. Dishonest negates any possibility of relationships succeeding.
Cutting is not a joke, its not a fad, its not something goth or emo to do...its an extremely serious psychological disorder.
PEG
2007-02-16 06:12:38 · answer #1 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One of my best friends cuts herself, and the best thing she ever did was tell some people about it. At least tell some of your most trusted friends/family, even if you don't tell this guy at first. It's a good thing because then those people can hold you accountable and ask you how you're doing. If you know you're going to have to tell someone you cut, it might stop you from doing it. I'm one of those people for my friend, and I try to ask her about it regularly. She's doing much better.
As for the guy, you should be honest with him. If it scares him away, that's not the type of person you want to be with anyway. To be in a relationship with one of the people who knows about your problem would hopefully help, because he could check up on you all the time. Truly, as much as you may like the guy, he's not worth your time if he can't deal with one of your most important issues. Good luck, and congrats on not cutting for a month!
2007-02-16 14:11:28 · answer #2 · answered by heatre24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, because any secret with keep distance between you two, you cant live a life together with secrets between you. The cutting is problem that you need to get help with. Apparently there is some problem...and no relationship will be healthy is you are not healthy.. so look at the bigger picture here,
2007-02-16 19:41:20 · answer #3 · answered by Tina B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The cutting is a problem all in it's own...but we all have problems. You don't want to start off a relationship by lying. Best to get it out in the open now if you want to have a chance with this guy.
2007-02-16 14:04:56 · answer #4 · answered by chica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you haven't done and "major" cutting in a month - you need to get some help to understand why you're doing it at all. You aren't ready to be in a relationship until you have made that first step to get yourself healthy, and the guy definitely deserves to know what he's getting himself in to - let him decide if he wants to stay.
2007-02-16 14:08:44 · answer #5 · answered by woodlands127 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello. I counsel a lot of college aged women, many of whom have struggled with this. If you don't tell him, than your secrets will make you feel distant from him, isolated.
Have you ever read "Understanding People" by Larry Crabb, or "Sacred Romance" by John Eldridge? I think you would enjoy these books.
2007-02-16 14:07:49 · answer #6 · answered by Emmy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being a cutter is a serious problem of its on. but it time to be more serious, if you are feeling this person and you think you this is the right time to tell him than tell him. make sure than you are ready for his action toward you, whether they are good or bad.
2007-02-16 14:15:31 · answer #7 · answered by tank1show 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First step in any relationship is honesty. Tell him, its better than him finding out on his own. Please be open with him.
2007-02-16 14:06:57 · answer #8 · answered by redshoes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to be honest and give him the chance to react his way.
But you should seriously seek some professional help with this!!
2007-02-16 14:09:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋