This isnt too important, but it bothers me and I need some type of explanation. When my boyfriend and I go out to eat, he always pays (he says the guy should pay and gives me a hard time if i try, so i let it go). Plus, he has a very sucessful job and im still in college finishing up so he has more money than me to begin with. ANYWAY, when its his bday, or xmas, or most recently valentines day he will let me pay as a treat to him. Well, when we go out and he pays he'll order things that are all under 10 dollars (like a hamburger), but when he goes out knowing Im paying, he orders like a 5 course meal with steak and shrimp and cheesecake..goes all out! So of course those bills are always much higher..like i said, i dont really care, but WHY does he do that? I never order anything more than his so I dont get why he is so "cheap" when he pays but goes all out when im paying. Im not mad or anything, I just dont get it! Please give me some insight?
2007-02-16 05:55:48 · 12 answers · asked by HlpMePlz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That is pretty annoying. Especially since he knows that you don't have as much money. Well, maybe he figures since he usually pays you owe him a big meal. My brother does stuff like that. If it's my turn to buy a round of beers he'll order a drink instead of a beer. I don't think there is much you can do. Just deal with the frustration. Maybe say something when you get the bill, like "wow, looks like I won't be able to eat next week" in a joking manner. Well, atleast you got to vent some frustration here!
2007-02-16 06:02:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Test him:
Ask him to go out to a REAL romantic night. That means you two should go well dressed to a real restaurant that he should call in for reservations prior to the date. Make sure to order something good. Usually those places will give you little food for a lot of $$$. But is also very good food. If you two are already over 21, ask for a good bottle of wine too, or at least two glasses of wine (red for meat, white for white meat, etc).
After that, go somewhere romantic in your city, or maybe go out to a club if you two again are over 21. Make sure is not one of those that girls go in and drink for free. And make sure to get some good drinks too. He should open a tab in a t least one bar.
After that, you can even suggest to go to a hotel instead of going back home. You know of course what that means, so if you do so, be protected (pregnancy, STD, etc, etc).
If he agrees to all this, and of course he pays for it, then you should be fine, it might have been just coincidence that he spends little money going out on casual dates with you. Or maybe he is “cheap” by nature (I am a little too).
But if he doesn’t want to spend money, then you can suggest for him to look for romantic things to do, and to surprise you. Maybe he would still be able to find good places to go that are not too expensive. The “routine” I gave you can be no more than $100 or it could be over $1000. It all depends where you go.
If nothing works, and he just won’t accept to go out and spend real money, then you will have to ask him why, and it better be a good explanation. Otherwise, explain to him how you feel, and see what he has to say about it.
Hopefully you two would be fine.
Good luck.
2007-02-16 14:18:58 · answer #2 · answered by Dan D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe because he is paying all the time. Is he on a budget? Does he buy you special gifts too? Also does he limit how much you can spend when you go out together? Plus if you only pay as a treat to him for a birthday etc.. yeah he is going to be getting a bigger/better meal. If he doesn't put a limit of spending on you then I wouldn't worry about it and go for the 5 course meal yourself next time!
2007-02-16 14:01:02 · answer #3 · answered by Sassy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is paying for all the other times that u guys go out, whats the big deal with him ordering a huge meal on his birthday, christmas, valentines or any other holiday, it makes up for the times he is paying for the rest of the year. I wouldn't sweat it, just be thankful that he pays for the rest of the time ur out with him. costs him more during the year than it does u for a couple of events.
2007-02-16 14:05:32 · answer #4 · answered by Giggling Queenie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if your bf pays for the dates most of the time he might figure that once in a while when he lets you pay he should make up for all the cash he has spent on you.Now thats not to say thats the proper thing but it could be his rational. If your close enuff to be with this dude than why dont you just ask him!!!
2007-02-16 14:03:32 · answer #5 · answered by deeshamon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say u offer to pay ... Y do u that when u really feel he is taking advantage ??U decide on who pays at end of the meal everytime..!!
2007-02-16 14:03:49 · answer #6 · answered by krishna c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's just a penny pincher, you are more generous than he is, I'm tight with my money, and there goes me ever finding a lady on yahoo answers =| no seriously though he's just money cautious, does he buy you other gifts? next time you go out to eat with him and it's "your treat" take him to MC Donald's =)
2007-02-16 14:00:06 · answer #7 · answered by aphotic nostrum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't u try going all out?? let him have a taste of his medicine... anyway, MAYBE he's saving for the future he's gonna have with u... making it looked like u don't need to save
2007-02-16 14:02:34 · answer #8 · answered by Ishimaru Kenta 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he likes free food more than the stuff he pays for
2007-02-16 13:58:37 · answer #9 · answered by wassup 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
possibly bc he figures its part of the present so he wants what he wants
2007-02-16 13:59:25 · answer #10 · answered by jenivive 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋