Do guys try to avoid dating women with children?

Question

I am just recently single and have a 1 yr. old son and it seems like everytime a guy finds out I'm a mother he runs. Am I doomed to be single?

Answer 1

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Heck no! Most guys that are mature LOVE this - actually look for this.
Reason? The woman is mature and does not have the immature baggage and game playing that women who don't have children deal with.
Children balance relationships - this is grown folks talk here.

One love...........................

Answer 2

I think a lot of single men and women tend to be a Little more Leary of people that have children. Personally I have no problem with it, although I do know it is going to bring different sides of things out. And it is a lot harder and takes a lot more patience to begin a relationship under those circumstances. To be fair to both people really you shouldn't be around the children for quite a while. I don't think it is fair for the kids, or for the person getting involved. It is very easy for both parties to grow attached, and at the beginning that just isn't a very good thing at all. So with that sort of mentality it does make dating a single mother harder, I know because I am trying to see one now. A lot of the time plans get changed and things come up. But that is something I knew and expected from the beginning. So I guess my answer is there is really no reason to avoid single mother's if you have the patience to try and date them. The sad truth is most people don't have that sort of patience and are in search of something immediate, or expect to have all of that person's time. And it isn't going to work that way at all, a single parents children come first and should come first. And any parent that would put a new love interest ahead of the kids isn't someone I would really want to date anyways.

Answer 3

Some do... and probably most do. Why? they know the responsibility of a child, the expense, and the interaction between you and your ex that will last for the next 18 years.

You may fiind a good man who is willing but pleassssssssse... beware that pedophiles also seek out these types of situations: 'lonely young moms with kids who think they need to be rescued in need of male companionship and a father'. This is true... so beware.

You chose to have a baby. Your decision. You chose the man who made the baby with you...your decision. It did not work? Because unfortuately you made a poor decision. Now it is time for you to step up to the plate, make correct decisions, and choose to be 100% mom to your little boy needs you to raisehim. I say concentrate on him until you at minimum have him in school. Teach your child that you are an exceptional mom who has been more concerned about the welfare of her child than anything else. This is a little life that you are forming. Forget about you for a while. Raise your precious little one into having a healthy life. If you feel it so important to be needy, maybe place your little one up for adoption into a loving family who will give its life their undivided attention. Your kid does not need to grow up confused. I know all of this sounds harsh, yet you are in a harsh situation... step back and realize you are not doomed to be single... you are allowed the gift of motherhood and being a 100% good mom.
One day... maybe even 18 years from now, your prince will come. Or maybe a few years from now you will meet a man in your same situation who will accept raising your child as you will his. Just do whats right for baby... and have peace of mind that you are being the best mom you are capable to be.
In addition, you may want to get involved in a good church- non denominational christian churches have some large churches out there and always have great child care (even for infants on Sundays) where your baby will get some values along the way as well as having singles groups for single parents). I think you would find much comfort and a good support group if you did this. A Calvary Chapel (softer music and down to earth) or Vineyard Christian Fellowship (great music and teaching) are both across the US and great churches. Many many young people attend both of these. Or any solid bible based church- baptist etc... I mentioned the others because both really have younger congregations. Speaking to a pastor may be healpful to you also.
Best wishes and be proud to be a great mom. Never take your feeling the loss of a man out on your baby because your baby is alive... always remember you made the choice to have him whether or not he was planned or not. If not then you chose not to use the right protection.
You also could check w/ local hospital on parenting classes- they are often offered at no charge... and sometimes by the city health department also. Get involved- city rec and parks department often has parent/child fun classes as well.
Be the best you can be...... for your beautiful boy... that he becomes everything you would like for him to become.
Go for it!

Answer 4

Uh, here's the deal. When I was young, I didn't want to date anyone with kids because I knew I wasn't ready to settle down and deal with kids. Also, now that you have a kid, you can't go out and do what you want to when you want to. They know that and they aren't ready to live that way. Be thankful they're smart enough to hit the road. Saving you time and heartache.

Don't know how old you are, but guys tend to mature around 27. I'm married (10 years today) so I can't tell you anything about online dating... But here's my thoughts. You've got a young child who needs your attention. If you run into a nice guy along the way, that's great. But spend time with your son. When a guy is ready to date women with kids, he looks at how the kids act. If they are unruly brats, he wan'ts nothing to do with it...

So no, you are not doomed, it's just that the way you used to date is doomed.

Focus on taking care of you and your kid. A nice guy will see that and want to be part of it.

Good luck.

A~

Answer 5

There are a lot of single mothers who are out there shopping for a daddy. They're looking for someone to support their kid (from the father's perspective, to support someone else's kid).

There are also a lot of single mothers who are single for damn good reasons. You can't neccesarily spot them right away, but once you know they're a single mother, you know either they left someone (are either flighty or had extremely poor taste in men and were forced to leave) or were left (had extremely poor taste in men, or are too psycho for anyone to stay with them)

It doesn't matter if you're like that or not. The fact that there are many who ARE means it's best for a guy to be careful. SINGLE MOTHER is a huge red flag that can signal any of a dozen relationship-dooming problems. There's no getting around it, you have to get over it.

PLUS, there's the hassle of finding sitters, guys not wanting to change your kid's (not THEIR kid) diapers and whatnot...you're just less convenient than a single non-mother.

The ones saying it'll take time are right. Unless you can prove you're worth it, and that you aren't one of those women who is single for good reason, you're not going to get someone to seriously consider you. That takes time. Not just time to find a guy, but time for a guy to get to know you.

You're not doomed, but you have a tough row to hoe.

Answer 6

It just depends on the guy really I have 1 friend who prefers to date women with children and he is nothing but a gentlemen. It will just take time since I hate to say this most guys are jerks and only think about themselves even though most of them have kids of there own!

Answer 7

I think much depends on the age pf the man in question. Men in their 20's may not like the idea of a potential "ready made family" wandering around in their minds. I would suggest looking for a man in your age range who may already have children. He would be more likely to not have issues with you having children.

Answer 8

no not all men, I'm a grand father and thought i was finished with raising children when we split up and divorced but i ran into someone with an 6 year old and we've be together for four years and are planning to get married in three years , you'll kiss alot of toads before you find the real prince or in my case princess, good luck and don't give up , he will find you

Answer 9

I dated a woman with four kids and it made romance extremely complicated. She spent most of her time forcing the kids to behave, and never had any time for me. It also made any relationship complicated because the kids rejected any potential suitor if they didn't like them. The lady had to show respect for their opinions, and no man stood any chance of making it work with all four opinions. It's hard enough to get a women in a romantic mood these days, and much harder with kids screaming all over the place. The sad part was I really liked her, but her kids were very misbehaved.

Answer 10

Not at all my last girlfriend was 37, and had two kids, a girl 15, and a boy 4, they were really good kids, and i had know problam with it. Most men are thinking they dont want a ready made family, Me i like kids.

Answer 11

I wouldnt say all guys..maybe some. I could see why tho. If the father is still alive and your no longer together..hes always gonna be in your kids life(hopefully) which means hes gonna be in your life as well. And who wants the ex hangin around. Plus...he might no want to share you that much,b/c kids always come first.