I have a bit of a problem. Not to be boastful, but to better explain my situation, i'm 21, and i'm a pretty good looking guy. I'm hit on alot when I go out. I've never been rejected when asking a woman out on a date. In fact, I often have girls (beautiful ones) give me their numbers before I even get the chance to ask for them.
My problem comes up when i'm out on dates. I'm highly uncomfortable touching women, and it's sabotaged me so many times I find myself avoiding girls that want to go out with me. I know i'm not gay, and I really want to fix this problem.
Any ideas as to how to deal with this?
2007-02-16 04:55:32 · 17 answers · asked by Rob 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First thing you should be looking at is: what about touching women makes you uncomfortable? Are you afraid of what her reaction might be? Are you afraid that touching her might indicate a sign of disrespect that u'd rather not bring forth? Either way.....the only way to get rid of this problem is by locating the source. Did you have a bad experience?
Since you are not hard at finding women, i suggest you use a few as practice to see what it's like to touch women on a date.
Take a woman to dinner. Do your thing and have her grinning from ear to ear. Shower her with compliments. Then, reach your hand across the table as your doing so, say that you're really happy to be with her right now. Chances are, she'll grab you're hand.
When you have the chance...brush her hair to the side of her face and say: you have the most beautiful eyes.
The key is: with every touch comes a compliment, so that it doesn't come off creepy or awkward...and if there is any chemistry at all, nothing needs to be said.
2007-02-16 05:21:30 · answer #1 · answered by Jay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm thinking that you aren't comfortable TAKING THE LEAD! If you are on a date, the first opportunity, take hold of her hand. Remember to relax, and don't tense up. Make the object of contact to be part of the friendliness and affection that you genuinely feel for her. Think of her as somebody who likes the fact that you want to hold her hand, and that doing so will relieve HER nervousness. If you feel you can do so without imperilling the date, be honest about your own nervousness, making sure that you let her know how much you like her. Humor is a good thing, and the nervousness itself may be looked at as a mutual source of humor. If she likes you too, that whole uncomfortability should melt away.
2007-02-16 05:04:56 · answer #2 · answered by CB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop dating a lot of different women. Sounds like you are lucky enough to be able to pick who you'd want to go out with. Just pick one and get to know her a bit before you start worrying about touching her. If you are more comfortable with her as a person, the physical aspect should follow easily.
2007-02-16 05:00:13 · answer #3 · answered by derelicthypotheses 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you just want the physical part to actually mean something. I think maybe when you find true love, you will no longer be uncomfortable touching them.
A person can have sex with anyone, but when you make love it is so much better, physically and emotionally.
Just don't force it to happen, it will happen when you are ready.
2007-02-16 05:06:11 · answer #4 · answered by bratty brat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it only with women or do you just have touching issues in general? If it's just with women then try things slowly...touch them on the arm or shoulder when talking then move up to longer touching or hand holding. Go slow with it and don't put so much pressure on yourself, that could be causing it to be worse.
2007-02-16 05:01:48 · answer #5 · answered by T C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
huh, i would have to say to just get a feel for it. I dont know anybody who doesnt like to touch women, it is a great feeling to touich someone that is really close to you. I would say find a girl that you know wil not leave you and tell her your sitution and just try to get a feel for touching women....and on another point your 21 and have never touched a woman?
2007-02-16 05:00:25 · answer #6 · answered by Jackson B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me it sounds like you think all these women have high expectations of you, because they think your hot, and maybe your embarrassed to try anything and make a fool of yourself?
if i were you i would lower the bar on the women your gonna go out with. just for a little while. go otu with girls that dont make you feel liek there is a lot of pressure to impress them, and practice your moves, if you knwo what i mean
2007-02-16 05:00:30 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need to date a really relaxed woman who is very gentle and will show you the way...if you go for some woman who's been around and is sexually aggressive, and you feel like you don't know what you're doing, it could ruin things for you...
2007-02-16 05:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry i think that it is very respectful when women are not touched on dates... just give it some time and the women will fell your positive vibe energy and then they could make the first move!
good luck and i hope that this helps!
<3
2007-02-16 04:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by Halomot 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe you are just one of those odd, one of a kind guys who don't like to grope a woman in public. Maybe it's just not your thing. That's okay. Don't know why it wouldn't be,,,,,,,,,,but maybe it's just not. Maybe you date some nasty chicks or something, I don't know,,,,,,,,,I thought of the gay thing, too. I just don't know why you wouldn't want to touch a woman.........but it's okay.......if that's how you are,,,,,,,,,,,that's how you are!!!
2007-02-16 05:00:24 · answer #10 · answered by Littlemissy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋