My grandma just moved in with us and is 95 years old. However, her mind is still just as sharp as it always was. I have a very bad relationship with her. Her personality drives me crazy because she makes herself out to be more helpless than she really is and she is always so over-the-top polite about everything even though she has been living with us for awhile. I feel as though we have nothing in common and so there is nothing for us to talk about. I want to love her, but it is very hard to.
2007-02-16 04:53:17 · 8 answers · asked by turan21 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dealing with an elderly person is sometimes very difficult. They have strong opinions. If you really want to get to know her the best way is to sit down and ask her questions about her life or what it was like to raise your mother or father which ever one she is. Or ask her opinion on something that is going on in your life. This way she will open up to you and will feel like she is contributing to your life. Maybe you can volunteer to read to her, get her involved with something you can do together like work a picture puzzle. At age 95 it is a blessing she is still around. You have no idea what pain she probably goes through just to get through each day. Give her a break because she probably can't do what you think she can or should be able to do. The secret is to communicate with her.
2007-02-16 05:27:45 · answer #1 · answered by C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can love someone without liking them, and if you get to know your grandmother, you may discover she's at least worthy of your respect if not admiration.
You may feel she's making herself out to be more helpless than she really is, but think of this: when your foot falls asleep, is it easy for you to just jump up and walk? Your grandmother's whole body probably feels like a waking limb. She may look fine, but her strength is limited, her body is deteriorating, and to top it all off she has to admit defeat in a way by moving in with family because if she stayed alone, she might fall or break her hip. Your grandmother is fragile physically, but the fact that she is ultra-polite shows she has remarkable inner strength, coping with a difficult situation with grace.
Play a board game with her, find out what kind of music she likes- you might find it tolerable. Some of the musicians she likes may have influenced one of your favorite singers. You do have something in common: you are family and you share the same dwelling. Make it a home by treating your grandmother with love and respect.
2007-02-16 05:12:40 · answer #2 · answered by AMEWzing 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should respect the fact that she grew up in times that were much different than they are now. When she was growing up, being polite wasn't just an option, it was required. Women of that time period were taught to expect help in a lot of things that don't apply anymore.
You can learn SO much from her about what is was really like to be around during the times you only read about in the history books. If you ask her about some of her times growing up, you might find out that you have more in common than you think. She won't be around much longer so do your best to make that connection while you still can.
2007-02-16 05:01:28 · answer #3 · answered by J D 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just try to find something that you have in common. the way your grandma is, is because of her age. older people tend to be this way. give her a break though, she is approaching 100 years old. that is a long time for anybody to be around. just think of all of the changes she has seen. even if you just spend a little time with her each day, it will make a world of difference in her. she just wants attention. you also need to come to the realization that she may not be around much longer. this is tough to think about i know but you need to. this just makes the time that you spend with her that more important. enjoy the time you spend with her. you may only have a little time left. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-16 05:00:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
first, you got to rember she old, ,, most at that age do slip by in to child hood,,now think, just how much she has seen an done,,, this women could tell you thing you never get from a history book, too rember this lady,live be for , light ,are cars,, an thing you got to day,,, now here the bad thing, if you don;t talk to her, an let say to may say something to her wrong, an that night are the day you not their to tell her you sorry are that you love her, it going to come back to you,,, i wish i had my grand ma around,for i would treat her a lot better,
2007-02-16 07:05:52 · answer #5 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
find something to talk about and show her that you are trying to be close to her ask her about her past and childhood or something imporantant that happened during her lifetime or how she met her husband just think of things to talk about and she will soon open up to you besides you dont know how long you are going to have with her so be nice and polite and learn something from her
2007-02-16 05:10:11 · answer #6 · answered by advise_gal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love her alot, especially when you are annoyed with her. You will be suprized to find out how words are followed by action. Try it.
2007-02-16 05:31:26 · answer #7 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK , COME ON...........SHE IS OLD SHE SOON DIE.....SO BEFORE SHE DOES LEAVE SOME GOOD MEMMORY OF URSELF WITH HER OK
2007-02-16 04:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by i am a very sweet n honest girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋