Sick Jokes?

just met your double,i swear.i thought it was you and i even shouted your name ,but it just carried on scratching its a*se and eating a banana lol

when beckham scores i drink becks
when paul miller scores i drink millers
when paul scholes scores i drink skol
thank god david seaman is a goal keeper

judge says to prostitute "so when did you realise you was raped?"
prostitute says "when the fcukin cheque bounced"

mad mary was speedin around the mental ward as usual in her wheel chair. mad joe stopped her and asked 4 for her licence. she just spend off around another corner where mad joe then stopped her and asked for her insurance, she took off again at speed. roundin get another corner she was met by BIG JOHN standing there stark naked with a massive eraction."oh no she says not the breathe aliser again.

police have just found a mans bodyin the park,beer belly,saggy balls,wrinkly a*se,small penis,face like a smacked a*se.
text me back so i know you are ok

mary had 2 little lambs there names were jack and gypsy,one day they got foot and mouth now there black and crispy

how many letters are in the alphabet? nineteen coz ET went home in the UFO and the FBI went after them.
lololololololololololol

2007-02-16 06:00:19 · answer #1 · answered by rob 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋

people just don't have nothing better to do then pick on Michael Jackson that joke and all his jokes are not funny and sick.

2016-05-24 07:04:09 · answer #2 · answered by Kathy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋

I know loads but if I told em on here I`d get booted off lol

but heres a not to bad one;
Little tommy on a farm runs in doors to his mum,
"mummy the bulls fu*king the cow!"
"no tommy you must be polite and say the bulls suprising the cow"
later tommy runs again "mummy the bulls suprising ALL the cows!"
"No tommy the bull can`t suprise all the cows"
"yes he can hes fuc*ing the horse!"

2007-02-16 05:04:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋

this isnt really sick but it is histaricall........

A City cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. "Nice bike," the cop said "did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "he sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.The cop said, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got there sir, did Santa bring it to you?" "Yes, he sure did," chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said, "Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top."

2007-02-16 06:15:00 · answer #4 · answered by alex♥ 3 · 7⤊ 1⤋

A tramp walks into a local cafe and Asks "Can I have a cocktail stick please" and so the waiter on duty looks confused but finds one for him

Then a few minutes later another tramp walks in and asks for a coctail stick and again the guy just hands one out to him and off the tramp goes.

By the this point the waiter is getting very confused and so when a third tramp walks in he asks "Would you like a coctail stick?", the tramp replies "No, can i have a straw please" to which the waiter ask "why do you need a straw anyway" and the tramp says "A dog was sick outside and all the chunky bits have gone"

2007-02-16 04:59:49 · answer #5 · answered by agius1520 6 · 3⤊ 4⤋

Yea im sick infact pig sick of waiting for written conformation of pay rise its been 7 months.

2007-02-16 04:57:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ollie 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋

Whats Black and White and Red all over?

A nun with multiple stab wounds

What do you call a virgin in KY?

An ugly 2nd grader

Whats the best thing about having alzheimers disease?

You can find your own easter eggs.

2007-02-16 05:02:56 · answer #7 · answered by christmas382000 3 · 5⤊ 2⤋

A kid and 2 teenagers (a boy and a girl) are in a bunk bed (the teenagers in the top bunk having sex and the kid in the bottom bunk trying to sleep). So the boy teenager tells the girl teenager to say lettuce if she wants him to go faster or to say tomato if she wants him to go slower, so the girl teenager goes like lettuce, tomato, lettuce, tomato, and the kid says, "you guys, stop making sandwiches! And stop squirting mayonnaise on me!"

2007-02-16 05:12:08 · answer #8 · answered by kunversita 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋

What's grosser than gross? When you dream about eating chocolate pudding & you wake up with a spoon in your a**.

2007-02-16 06:24:45 · answer #9 · answered by Ray 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋

how does a black women takes a pregnacy test? first she sticks a bananna up her pu$$y, if the bananna comes out half eaten then there a monkey in the way

2007-02-16 05:57:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 8⤊ 2⤋

16 answers