I need your opinion about adoptions?

Question

I know someone who gave her baby up for adoption. Her baby is now 8 months old. The family who adopted her baby always sends her pics like every 2 weeks and they talk on the phone once a week. Now they want my friend to move there with them what should she do

Answer 1

i think that it would be good for her and the child to go and be a part of her child's life.

adoption is a wonderful thing if the people who are adopting are genuinely good people. the way i see it is that there are a lot of kids out there in this world that are in homes and orphanages that do not have a proper family to take care of them so why bring more into the world. i feel like we need to take care of our already born before we worry about bringing others in the world. that is why i am going to adopt in the future anyway. hope this helps. good luck.

Answer 2

Your friend needs to decide what she wants and what she thinks she will be able to handle. It is a very hard choice that will take a lot of soul searching. Perhaps she will never fully come to an answer she feels 100% about, but that is the case with many things in life.

My daughter is adopted and we do not know much about her birth parents. I wish a lot of times I had answers for her, but then I also know it could be difficult as well if her birth parents were always involved and perhaps there was conflict or jealousy. You just never know how things will work out.

I think it is very kind and open hearted of the adopted parents to want your friend to be such an important role in their child's life. I also think they and the child would understand at some point in time if your friend decides not to fully be involved in the child's life.
You friend gave her child to another family because she felt that it was the right thing to do and she was wanting the best for that child. I honestly think that is one of the greatest unselfish gifts anyone can give that effects so many people.

I have a friend that adopted their nephew and their niece is involved in his life. They have a good healthy relationship.

I wish your friend the best in trying to find the path to take.

Answer 3

What she decides to do is up to her. I think it is unusual to have that much contact and wanting her to live with them. Did she indicate she needs help? Maybe this is a temporary living situation?

I think it would be more difficult to see the baby every day, but not be recognized as the baby's mother.

If your friend is seriously considering this option, maybe she should talk to a couselor about it. I guess if she really wants to try it she could stay there for a week and see how it goes. I find it to be a strange situation though.

Answer 4

Yes, in private adoptions the adoptive parents sometimes agree to send the biological parent pictures/updates on the child/etc. But, in my opinion, they’re carrying things a little too far with the whole ‘move down here’ invitation. Of course, that’s just my opinion.

One thing your friend needs to keep in mind is that she has NO legal rights to this child. So if she gets close to the child and one day the adoptive parents suddenly decide that they’re no longer going to allow her to see the child--there’s not a darn thing she can do about it. So, again, she needs to keep that in mind…

Beinginlove--your ‘real’ mother is one who raised you/cared for you/loved you. Your biological mother is the one who gave birth to you. Giving birth alone does NOT make someone a ‘real’ mother.

Answer 5

i dont think that your friend should. she gave the baby up for adoption because she doesnt want to or cant take care of the child. why would the family who adopted the baby want the mother of the child to live with them. that just doesnt make sense to me. i can see that the adoptive family wants the kid to kno who the real mother is but do they not want to take care of the adopted child anymore? so they are asking for the mother to come and take care of the child?

Answer 6

That is very strange to me. I gave my baby up in an open adoption 7 years ago in April. I have a daughter, so the little boy i gave up is a little brother to her. The parents although they keep in touch would never think of wanting us as a part of their family nor would i want to be a part of theirs. NOt only do i think it isn't fair to them i don't think it is fair to the child. I mean either i want to be the baby's mom or i don't! Don't you think this would confuse the child just a tad bit?????? Why would the biological mom want to be there with the child if she gave the child up to begin with??? That doesn't make sense to me. And why would the parents who adopted want the mother there living with them if they wanted to have a child of their own??? Why not foster then???

This doesn't add up to me.

Answer 7

That sounds strange I have always thought that once a baby has been adopted the biological parents were not allowed to see the or speak to the child :S

Answer 8

It depends on the birth mother. If she is a repsonsible person and will offer a good influence in the baby's life and wants to be involved, then she is being offered a rare opportunity to do that. No matter what though, she needs to really think hard about what would be best for that baby.

Answer 9

that all depends on if she wants to be apart of the childs life. I have adopted 2 children and honestly would not want the conflict of having the birth person envloved. We have no contact with birth people.

Answer 10

i think she should, this gives the baby a clear pictrues as to who her real mother is compaired to her step mother, because when babies are adopted as they get older the feel lost and want to know there real mother, so i think this is good there wanting there baby to know who her or him's real mother is so that when they get other they will already know and the new parents wont have to explain to then so tell your friend to do it