my husband will be deploying I'm preg. I have no family where we live neither does he...I want to go closer to family so I can have family with me during my delivery and to help since, I'm a 1st time mother, my husband thinks I should stay put, because I've joined a church...am I wrong for wanting to be closer to my family during my pregnancy? now keep in mind he won't be here b/c he's getting deployed
2007-02-16 04:04:24 · 11 answers · asked by puffy2step 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
BTDT and there are pros and cons both ways. Pros of going home: family to help, friends to do things with, a ready made support system... Cons: what to do with household goods while you're away, moving twice, not having a "home" for DH to come home to or paying rent on a home you're not living in...
Pros for staying: Building a support system with your church and your Family Readiness Group, seeing one doctor through the pregnancy, not having to move or store your stuff... Cons: having to ask friends for help and not knowing for sure you'll get it, being lonely... And I'm sure you can come up with a lot more for each.
It doesn't have to be all one or the other either if you two can't agree. I've had family come out and stay either for a few weeks or more permanently while DH was deployed. I've also gone home for an entire deployment or to visit for varying lengths of time through them. And I've had deployments where we took turns visiting. The important thing was that DH and I talked about these things before he left and came to a joint decision.
You two need to discuss it and come up with something that works for both of you.
2007-02-16 05:29:53 · answer #1 · answered by Critter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father was in the service for 25 years and when he was gone for a year we always went back to my mother’s people as she did not drive and needed her sisters to take her to get groceries and such. Most service wifes do go to thier family when thier husband is deployed to have family around them. If he is not there anyway there should be no reason for you to stay where you are. He may feel insecure about himself in the marriage and think you will leave him if you go home. Assure him that you love him and when he comes back you will go wherever he is assigned. You do realize that when he comes back you will most likely be stationed somewhere else anyway and will have to move in any case. Tell him that you will continue to go to church where your family lives.♪
2007-02-16 05:02:51 · answer #2 · answered by # one 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find a nice person from your church to watch your house and move. That said, be very wise in your choice where to move. Make sure the relative is not only willing to help you, but can actually follow through. If it is a choice between a sibling or an elderly parent, go with the sibling. You can always return to your house and church after your husband gets home.
2007-02-16 04:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by MitoMom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Grandpa is completely German so i'm a a million/4 German :-] What would you do if: - Stare at him in wonder - initiate screaming (yet in a 'satisfied excited' way, no longer an 'OMG there's a creepy guy in my mattress' kinda way - keep on with him ;-] - supply him a severe 5 - i does no longer be shocked - ok...... - Awwwww. i'd hug him i loved Barney - i does no longer imagine it grow to be him......regardless of if i knew it grow to be him :-[ would you quite: - TH live performance with behind the scenes passes :D - Be their pal - Gondola holiday......in order that long because the guy guidance the boat would not sing the completed time :-/ - Be bill & Tom's mum's maximum ideal pal - Be on TH television - Get the CD 3 months in the previous......I had a poor adventure with a horse on my fifth birthday. have not lengthy gone close to at least a million ever considering question of the day: My mum & dad will be indignant. My mum would bypass nuts screaming stuff like "HIS 5 YEARS OLDER then you quite! WHAT THE **** is faulty including your mind!" at the same time as my dad does no longer care about the age large difference as a lot as my mum, yet he would attempt & make certain bill wasn't gay :-/
2016-12-04 06:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need family. what if everything goes wrong and he isnt there to help you. but you will always have your family with you every second that you need em. tell your family to come over within the week of ur delivery. so that they can be there to help you thru it. mayb the second child you dont need your family there. but this is ur first so have them there.
2007-02-16 04:16:52 · answer #5 · answered by xkathiee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no. you are not wrong. you need to be closer to family for support and guidance. it is the only right thing for you to do. he will understand. you need someone around you to help you since he wil not be around. that is what is best for you and the baby. that is what i would do if i were you. hope this helps. good luck.
2007-02-16 04:45:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is wrong with some of your family coming to you? Surely, someone can -- your mom, sister -- someone. That way you can "stay put" as he is asking, but you will also have help.
2007-02-16 04:19:45 · answer #7 · answered by GP 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no you are not wrong, you NEED your family, if he isn't going to be there... I spent 10 yrs as a military spouse, and it is hard.... he wants you to stay b/c you joined a church?... do they not have churches where your family is?... you need someone, and he isn't going to be there *for you and the baby* be with your family!
2007-02-16 04:10:46 · answer #8 · answered by Dena 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you have a house, and have a stable church where you are now! Moving just to be close to family is not your choice. It has to be a choice you both make together. Doesnt sound like you both agree to either one of it.
You cant move and then when he gets back expect him to move too!
2007-02-16 04:09:03 · answer #9 · answered by Encouragement 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you are not wrong. pregnancy is a hard thing and you shouldnt have to do it alone so move closer to family
2007-02-16 04:14:28 · answer #10 · answered by ~countrymonkey~ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋