My fiance's ex-wife and I have become friends through mutual friends. We go out often with each other because of those mutual friends. Periodically she will invite me out for "girls night". We are now making our guest list and have come to her. I like her alot and fun with her but I'm not just not sure how I feel about her coming to my wedding. My fiance and her have children together and get along good too. He's leaving this totally up to me.
2007-02-16 03:43:34 · 14 answers · asked by Smiles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She's not only a friend, she's part of your new extended family. If there is a good relationship, then by all means invite her - as long as your new hubby agrees as well. Make sure she brings a date so it doesn't make her stand out and some people feel sorry for her though! The other good part is that she will be there to monitor the kids during the ceremony and reception. My ex and I have a great relationship too and it has lasted 37 years since we got divorced. His wife and he have spent Christmas "day after" with us and the shared kids and we all raised well-balanced kids. It has always seemed very strange to me how people can love each other enough to make babies can then be mean and spiteful after things dissolve. We got married too young - 17 and pregnant - and we just grew apart after 6 years. No reason to be enemies! Good luck although I doubt if you need it. you sound as though you're mature enough to handle anything and so is she!!
2007-02-16 03:51:44 · answer #1 · answered by Wifeforlife 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, this is a bit of a sticky situation. You're currently friends with her... if you don't invite her to the wedding, she may take that as a slight, and it will hurt the friendship. Do you want to stay friends?
It's nice that your fiance is leaving it up to you to decide, but at the same time, how does he truly feel about it?
Your fiance has children with her. Do you want to keep that relationship amicable all around? A lot of ex situations aren't friendly, and it makes a hostile environment for the children to have to play "monkey in the middle". It sounds like you have something much nicer than that, it might be worth preserving.
If you're good enough friends with her, try talking to her about the weirdness of inviting an ex to the wedding. She may opt out on her own accord, or have something to say to make you feel better about it.
My choice would be to bite the bullet and invite her, to preserve the amiable relations for the future. At least you get along, it's not like inviting a monster to the party!
2007-02-16 03:52:25 · answer #2 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In this situation, I don't think it's inappropriate to invite his ex-wife to the wedding. After all, the two of you socialize together often and you yourself said that you like her alot. If you feel comfortable with her being there, I think it would be a nice gesture especially if the children they have together will be involved in the wedding; she actually might enjoy watching them participate. And who knows she may decline attending because she doesn't feel comfortable being there. But the bottom line is how comfortable you will feel. If don't feel comfortable, then don't do it. Only you can really answer this question by searching your own personal feelings regarding this situation.
2007-02-16 05:25:35 · answer #3 · answered by Veronica W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only people in this situation that matter are the four of you. If you all feel fine with each other, and the idea, then it's not inappropriate. I would simply tell her that you would really like her and the fiance to be there, and let her decide. I am glad that some people can be mature in situations such as this, so kudos to the four of you :)
2016-05-24 06:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a friendship with her and want her there then you need to talk to her before you send an invitation. You don't know if she even expects to be invited. She might like going out with you for "girls night" but, not want to be there to see you getting married to the guy she divorced. If you do not feel comfortable enough to talk about it with her, If not then there is your answer.
2007-02-20 01:44:06 · answer #5 · answered by Kat G 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I want to commend you on how great you are.There are so many ignorant,rude,bitter and unhappy people in the world.It is refreshing to see ex and new wives getting along.Anyway,I'm not saying don't invite her to your wedding,or that she has interior motives but she is the ex wife,so if I were you I would keep my guard up.It seems you have a friendly relationship with her so why not invite her,just keep your guard up.Congratulations to you and your groom to be,I hope it all works out.
2007-02-16 04:22:32 · answer #6 · answered by fnocentelli 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's cool that you 2 are being so civil. But you should talk to her about his very sensitive matter let her know what you're thinking of doing and let her tell you if she'd like to attend. She may just be keeping friendship with you to have some kind of closeness with her ex. That's not such a long shot, if you think about it. It may just crush her knowing that you're now planning on actually marrying the man that she lost.
2007-02-16 03:50:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it would be great of you to invite her. If you hated each other , that would be a different matter. Since you get along, and there are kids involved I think inviting her would be the gracious thing to do. However, you may want to let her know that you understand if she is uncomfortable and would rather not attend.
2007-02-16 03:49:26 · answer #8 · answered by iceemama 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My husbands ex was at out wedding, and it was no big deal, it was ackward at first but after about 5 seconds we were over it. Their son was our ring bearer, so of course she wanted to be there for him, but like you we were all friends and it wasn't a big deal. Do what you feel comfortable with, forget about labels and just look at the people involved.
2007-02-16 03:58:06 · answer #9 · answered by Lovely Lady 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Talk openly with your fiance and tell him exactly how you feel. Talk with his children and with his ex-wife. She probably knows you're going through this dillema so talk to her and see what she thinks. She may be uncomfortable coming and would rather not be invited. Talk to all the people involved.
2007-02-16 03:54:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋