I am 34 and quite nice and not naggy and not too bad looking. Whey aren't i married?

Question

Just asking because my sister is in the same boat and she's not too bad either.

Answer 1

Perhaps the two of you don't have any good role models in the marriage department. Are your parents still married (to each other!) and happy? Without seeing marriage done well, you and your sister might be reluctant (perhaps unconsciously) to embark on marriages yourselves.

I personally don't have too many good role models in this department. I know lots of people who married because they wanted to have kids and do have very serviceable, rather content marriages, but I don't want kids, so "serviceable" and "content" won't cut it for me. I also don't need anybody to support me (I'm an engineer), so money isn't motivation.

I have a younger sister (I'm 36 and she's 34), and the only reason she got married (which she did when she was 25) is because she wants kids. "Otherwise," she has said (many a time), "I don't see the point in getting married nowadays. The woman always gets the short end of the bargain."

Again, from what I've seen, this is GENERALLY true. Your career will always come second, and you will be expected to balance it with the preponderance of household responsibilities, too.

I don't foresee ever marrying unless I meet somebody I think I'd be happier being married to than I am being single. A close friend of mine felt exactly the same way, and 3-1/2 years ago, she met someone who she thought she would be happier being married to...so she married him, and they are happy (and my only good marital role model!).

So you may yet find somebody, but you should live a complete, fulfilling life in the meantime, which will not only keep your mind off things, but will make you a more attractive marital prospect, too!

Chin up!

Answer 2

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am also attractive, smart, great job, good money, indepentent, nice, fun, active..... I am 35 and finally met the right person last year. We dated for a few months and just got married.

Try this formual for every person that you date. If you are missing one part of it, then the relation ship will not work. Every successful relation needs LIPS (looks, interest, personality, and situation)

Looks: Both people have to be attracted to each other.

Interest: You must share some interest together. Something that you can do together. But you should also have interests that are seperate from each other. Maybe you both enjoying dancing and wine tasting. But he enjoys watching football (you don't). and you enjoy jogging (he doesn't).

Personality: your personalities must be compatable

Situation: You must both be available, things will not work if you are at two different places in your lifes. (you are ready to settle down but he is in med school) ( he is ready to settle down but your job moves you around the world) (he already has kids and you don't want kids)...

LIPS!!! think about these 4 points next time you start dating someone...if they are not ALL there then move on.

Answer 3

When out trying to find a man, my thoughts are that you maybe acting too "desperate". You have to go out with the "I'm not looking for a man thankyou" attitude. Go out with your sister,and completely ignore the fact that there are men there, talk about comical things mainly, so that you smile and laugh a lot, but don't be loud or show off. Sit or stand where you can be seen, like under a light or on a seat with a spotlight over you. Wear something stylish, in good taste, not showing much flesh or cleavage. And try not to wear too much jewelry. Make sure your hair, and teeth shine like diamonds, and keep your make up low key. And keep sober. By all means have a drink, but alternate with water or juice, men hate drunken women. Hope this will help you.

Answer 4

I'm 37 this year and look after myself, still have the pull factor. I'm happy just making male friends rather than having relationships . I learned a lesson after my last relationship and its more important to know yourself and let things happen in its own time. I've never been married and have an 8 yr old child, I'm quite proud of the fact that I didn't say yes because of what I know now.

Answer 5

it is because you havent found the right person yet. you dont wanna get married a few times and all ending up at the wrong person do you?! 34 is not bad... its still a young age! youre not 40 yet! that is when ur start cramming up to get married but make sure youre on the right track.. it is good to be picky when it comes to finding the one.. so hold on tight, u never know its just right on the corner... go out more and mingle then jingle! there's a lot there to collect & select. have fun!

Answer 6

Might be a shy family. Force yourself to get out there. Why don't you go out with your sister to meet people? Go to an event or something?

I know a pair of sisters who live together in their 50's now. They just got too comfortable living together and learned not to take any risks. Now they're stuck without anybody.

On the other hand, definitely don't settle for some loser dude who doesn't have a job or is abusive.

Answer 7

Here the statistic data from the Statistische Bundesamt, Wiesbaden for germany 2006:

Men: average age of first marriage: 38 years old
Women: average age of first marriage: 34 years old

So don´t panic. I know many men who definitly are fed up with young woman, around 20. You are in a best age.

Are you living in germany?

Answer 8

Because your one of the lucky ones read all the sites of the married troubles??? Don't be in a hurry> Being single I'am its OK at least you not asking question about being married with children,an cheating husband .Enjoy yourself if someone with interest as yours comes along have fun. My boat is 48' so what size is yours HE HE HE
Take it easy.

Answer 9

Marriage is an option, not destiny.
And why do you think married life will be better than what you have now? There are plenty of examples of failed relationships. About half, actually.
Be happy in your own life. If you meet someone, great. but if not don't go through life depressed about it.

Answer 10

How are you in relationships; just because you are nice doesn't mean you are doing everything right. As for the nagging, are you sure. I'd say I don't nag, but my boyfriend seems to think different. You seem fixated on getting married, as opposed to just finding someone to date, or have a long term relationship with.

Do you mention marriage to your dates? If you do, you might be chasing them away