Hello everybody. I have been exclusively dating a guy for 4 months now. I stay at his place all the time (with his encouragement), and he uses a lot of "we" terminology when he talks about the future. His actions toward me tell me he loves me, although we have not said this to each other yet. The problem is we dated once before, and in my heart I know he broke up with me to date someone else, even though he denies it. And even though things are going good, he still talks to multiple girls via text message... as far as I know it's nothing more than a little harmless flirting, but it still bothers me. Am I just being insecure? Or guys, is he keeping his options open, and I should be worried? Any help is appreciated, I don't understand men very well.
2007-02-16 03:35:32 · 24 answers · asked by Nurse Angie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would be worried too. He left you for someone else and when that didn't work out, he came back to you. Yet, is still flirting with other girls. He seems to be keeping you around until something better comes along. I'm sorry, but this is how I see it based on what you wrote.
2007-02-16 03:38:47 · answer #1 · answered by Groovy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT does sound like he is keeping his options open, but one is never sure about these things, as everyone views this differently. Generally speaking, though - he's not totally committed.
I can speak from my personal experience by saying both my husband and I did the same thing when we were dating. We still had people of the opposite sex that we flirted with, IM'd, would text msg other people, etc. but when we started to become serious about one another, we talked about it, and that all stopped. He's not ready to commit if he is still keeping the lines of communication open with other women.
Possible insecurity on your part? Maybe. Jealousy, probably...but that's not necessarily a bad thing - it's healthy and natural in small quantities and mean you care for the guy.
If you are constantly holding on to what happened between you two in the past, though, it's not a good thing. You won't be able to advance if you still hang onto that.
What it all boils down to is that you want to be exclusive, and he isn't ready (hence the texting). You need to talk to him about this. If he says it's harmless and he wants to get serious but continues, I would bolt - that's not the right thing for him to do. If he stops all that texting and commits, then take it from there and make it the best relationship you can. Take care, and try not to take things too seriously at this point - he obviously isn't.
Good luck! :)
2007-02-16 03:46:04 · answer #2 · answered by polishedamethyst 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he's a flirt, which can be a problem in a relationship. There are guys who are just like that. If you are really worried he will cheat on you, then maybe you should talk to him, or drastically, dump him. You can't change men and this guy doesn't seem like the best for you. I'm sure you deserve a guy who would never dump you for somebody else (Always trust ur instincts).
2007-02-16 03:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by Lily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. He says "we" a lot. You stay over at his place.
IMHO, he should be talking to these other females like that. Even if it is 'harmless' flirting, that underminds the relationship that you two have. (Do you flirt and text other guys? Porbably not.)
If you've been down this [dating] road with him before and he left you for someone else, it may happen again. Sounds to me like he's playing the field and he's not being honest with you about the status of your relationship.
2007-02-16 03:42:49 · answer #4 · answered by YSIC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless hes talking to friends you have a lot to be worried about. Im a guy and when im in a relationship I never flirt with other girls im always devoted to my girl. But then again im not really have the average guy mentality.
2007-02-16 03:40:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probably feel the same way as you do. But you two should talk about it because nothing will happen if you just keep those feelings inside of you guys. But we should understand that the person is NOT our boyfriend and he has the freedom to talk to anyone he wishes to talk to. But then, maybe you feel the same way for him. But the best thing to do is to talk about it with him. Because maybe he just wants you to get jealous and all. take care. :)
2007-02-16 03:44:22 · answer #6 · answered by Faye ^___^ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 he should not be flirting with other women! im not a clingy "up his butt" kinda girl but texting other women is not right. now about him breaking up with you for what you think was another girl well you need to get over that what happened in yalls past should stay there. he is with you and yall are happy but i do think you should talk to him about his flirting and texting cuz it will only lead to more. i just wouldnt want him to be in a position where he could have the chance to cheat....you know.
2007-02-16 03:43:03 · answer #7 · answered by melissapinkfloyd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I say that if he talks to other girls doesn't matter how, seems like he is keeping his options opened and if you want to know if he likes you, you should do the same, I mean obviously you like him and if you also talk to guys and he notices it and it bothers him he'll let you know and from there you could also let him know that he does the same thing and it also bothers you. Hope it helps. * _ *
2007-02-16 03:41:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is keeping his options open, its been 4 months now he shouldnt still be flirting with other girls. I'm not suprised you are insecure, he should get a new number and start a fresh if he really likes you.
2007-02-16 03:39:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
aww sweetie he's using you. If he is still flirting with other girls and he knows it bothers you, how much does he really care? I say ask him to stop talking to other girls because it hurts your feelings, depending on his response you will know how he really feels about you. You of course can start texting some guy friends of your own and see how he likes it.
2007-02-16 03:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by nancy a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋