What are the negative and positive effects on leaving without your parents near you?

Question

In your opinion, are there negative and positive effects on leaving very far from your parents?
If yes...which ones?

Answer 1

The negatives for me have been the fact that I feel as though my children are not getting the "grandparenting" they deserve and my parents are not getting the opportunity to be grandparents. We miss out on a lot with them such as birthday parties school plays and just random "outings" such as getting ice cream, going to the park and that sort of thing. We talk on the phone and send lots of things in the mail, but it is still hard at times. We get to see everyone once (two times if we are lucky) a year due to travel expense. It does not help that my in laws live only a couple hours away and have little to nothing to do with us. I wish they were the ones that lived so far away and my parents were closer, because then the grandparents that want to spend time with the kids actually could. It is hard, but this is where my husbands job is. Moving is not an option, so I as a parent must make the most of a situation. I miss my family and because of this I try to always tell my own children different stories of my own grandparents, their grandparents, and uncles etc etc.

The positive effects that it has had have brought my family closer. We talk a lot, and when we do get to spend time together we truly make the most of it. We never take our time together for granted, and that is always a good thing.

Answer 2

My parents live in California and Arizona and I live in .... Paris, France!

I get along really well with my mother this way since I only see her twice a year. If we spend more than a week together, we tend to get on each other's nerves and things get very, very heated!

However, it is hard being away from my parents (and family) now that I have a family of my own - I would like my children to be able to spend more time with their grandparents.

I have also learned how to be more independent having been on my own so far away, as well as the value of family and not letting distances keep you apart!

Answer 3

The negatives are that your are more separated from your support system, and you aren't readily available to develop that relationship as an adult.

However, if you are independent it's okay, because you'll learn to handle things yourself, and not all stages of life are right for working on your relationship with your parents.

The positives are that you'll become independent and mature much faster because it's not so easy to fall back on your parents. You can have great adventures out on your own, and conduct your life without regard for what they think, which can be a very good thing for young adults.

Answer 4

I agree with the poster above. It is great to have your support system so close to you, however I think it is important to get out on your own for a bit.

I spent the last 10 years living away from my parents. I'm close enough that I can see them every few months or so. However, now I just had a baby and I wish that we were so much closer. I want my parents to know my baby and my baby to know his grandparents. I wish we lived closer every single day. I don't think I"ll ever move back to where they live because it is too cold and my husband hates it, but I try to get them to move closer all the time.

The funny thing is that I don't think I could live too close to my in-laws. That's kind of a different story, but I think having them close enough to see everyday or even once a week would start to drive me crazy. I do love having family close and wish that we were closer to mine.

Answer 5

i just recently moved to be closer to my parents again and it is very nice having them around to watch my son and it is nice being around my younger siblings again but then again we live so close that we are expected to go there every day and i feel sometimes like i dont have my own life with my son and my husband, so there are definitely ups and downs, overall i think it is good for my son to have as many people around to love and spoil him but im thinking of moving a little further away so that we can still see them often but also i can live my own life. good luck.

Answer 6

Much less interference and unwanted old fashioned advice but no babysitters either