If my bf and I get into a spat or are having problems....I write how I feel down in letter form. Then I keep it for a day or two then tear it up and throw it away. This way I get out how I'm feeling without a huge fight with him.
I did this yesterday and he found it...and now not only is he upset he thinks I'm the weirdest person alive. I find this to be a way to release and let go.....so my question is ....do you think this is weird or ok?
2007-02-16 03:01:52 · 22 answers · asked by to_sassy4_u 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is OK. There are many ways of defuse the situition. In fact I find that yours is the most gentle one. Firstly do no harm and if you would tear it and throw it away show that you want to forget the incidence and forgive him. Show him the replies from us and he would understand. Cheers. You do the right thing.
2007-02-16 03:09:46 · answer #1 · answered by simck 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your actions are not weird or unusual. Therapists recommend this process quite frequently. Writing your thoughts and feelings on paper helps you to release your feelings. You probably find that more and more feelings come out as you write. Burning, tearing up, or shredding the paper is the next step. The destroying of the written words signifies your release of your feelings or forgiveness and helps you to let go. This is a very healthy way to deal with your negative feelings without hurting someone else's feelings in the process.
What is not healthy in this situation is the fact that your boyfriend overstepped your boundaries by going through your things and reading your letter. That is no different than going through someone's diary or journal. That is his problem if he doesn't like something you wrote. Those were your personal feelings and were meant only for you. If he is going to do something unethical like that then he should be prepared for the consequences. You just keep doing what you are doing,, you are on the right track.
2007-02-16 11:25:32 · answer #2 · answered by crzynluv 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think that it is weird, because I did it before, and my now husband found it, we then sat down and talked, and I explained to him that that was the only way I could get everything out without saying the wrong thing, but now the only thing we do different is I write the letters now and give them to him and by the end of the day we talk it all out.
2007-02-16 11:09:28 · answer #3 · answered by Nice isn't it 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not weird. In fact it's great because you found a way on how to handle your problem or negative situations. At least with that no one gets physically hurt.
It's your BF who is weird because he failed to understand your wise and safe outlet of your emotion.
I suggest that the next time you write letter to express your feelings when in trouble or something, make a duplicate so that when you tear the original one you will have another copy left for filing. Yes, make files of what you write. As time goes by, you'll know what changes or improvements happened to you, at least in the area of emotionmanagement and attitudes, as you review your files.
2007-02-16 11:21:43 · answer #4 · answered by louie0894 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's totally acceptable and a wonderful way of dealing with one's problems. If he can't realize this, then he is quite immature and has no sense. He should be more sensible and appreciate the kind of person that you are. I have always done it and for 7 years, I would do that and my ex thought I was stupid - guess what? I got tired of it and I stopped writing my feelings down to him and now we are in the process of a break up. Now he knows that he should of listened then. You keep doing just that; you know it is good therapy.
2007-02-16 11:16:59 · answer #5 · answered by Ladyinred 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To me its perfectly normal i tend to do that alot and it helps in not engaging in a dirty shouting match writing makes me think more clearly and by the time im through i feel better really it works for me u aint weird u have your own way of sortin out your affairs
2007-02-16 11:06:42 · answer #6 · answered by ladyluck 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's totally normal. I've heard of lots of people who write thing down that bother them and then tear them up or burn them to help let go of what ever it is that's bothering them. You should ask him if he thinks that's weird that what does he think of people going through other people's diary's or personal writings.
2007-02-16 11:09:15 · answer #7 · answered by lovekitties 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that is a great way to do things. Just explain to him what you just said here about why you do it. If he can't understand oh well. That is his problem. You have the right to get your feelings out however you can.
2007-02-16 11:07:35 · answer #8 · answered by MaeSalgo 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it make you feel better that's fine .Better than a bigger fight .Think about someone that you don't have to argue with it more fun being happy than sad.Your in a learning curve in your life ,Try not to make the same mistakes twice. Have fun???
2007-02-16 11:09:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing wrong with that. [i think it might be a chick kinda thing] it is perfectly alright. next time you write a note from something that had to do with him let him read it and see how hurt or mad or upset you were! maybe than he will understand.
2007-02-16 11:07:28 · answer #10 · answered by macnchz 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋