I have been dating a 39 y/o guy for 3 months. While at his house the other day I found a biopsy report laying on his floor. It was for a brain tumor that he had been diagnosed with 3 years ago. Brain tumors are not very curable and often recur in 3-5 years.
He is very emotional and I guess this would explain a lot. I would have to believe that he wonders how to tell me the news. He may have a minimum number of years to live.
Do I act like I don't know? Should I tell him that I saw the report? I do not feel that running is an option, as I just do not see that as a morally proper thing to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! This has been tearing me apart, crying every night. I am also 39 y/o.
2007-02-16 02:59:06 · 9 answers · asked by cptkmwallman 2 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
Be honest and open with him. Then tell him exactly how you feel...
ie That it won't change how you feel, you still see him as the same wonderful person he was yesterday and that you love him and will be there for him no matter what.
Ask him for details only if it seems appropriate and educate yourself on this specific brain tumor.
At the end of the day, all you can do is support him and be yourself. Don't focus on this, it is just one aspect of the person you know, and whilst he will probably feel quite relieved to have you to share this with, he may well just want a normal relationship with you that doesn't centre round his illness.
Take care of yourself.
2007-02-16 03:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by Jayne-Linda 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some brain tumors are curable. And some of them are not. If he left it laying out it could be that he wants you to know, but does not know how to tell you. Unless you were snooping, I would bring it up.
2007-02-16 03:07:41 · answer #2 · answered by Tiffany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK my father's wife was divorced when they met, because her ex had a brain tumor that made him threaten her life everyday.
When she went to see the priest, he asked why in the heck she hadn't gotten out sooner!
She had your moral issue, and she could have gotten killed.
So, I think you need to move on anyway.
There are some things you need to know, and this is one of them.
I don't care how sad he is, or afraid, etc.- it is morally WRONG of him to be with you and not tell you.
Three months?
Not enough of a reason to not break his heart.
2007-02-16 03:08:56 · answer #3 · answered by starryeyed 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you say brain tumors are not very curable. If they are benign tumors they can be taken care of surgically and no they do not often return. Check your information before you even think of saying something to him.
2007-02-16 03:03:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would definetly ask him. Just tell him what you did. You have a right to know if he's 'terminal' and he'd probably feel better knowing you know. Besides, you got to know the entire story. Maybe it's better than you think.
2007-02-16 03:04:03 · answer #5 · answered by nickname 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him that you found out and see what he has to say. If he doesn't want to talk about it, leave it at that.
2007-02-16 03:04:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should talk to him about it. I also think that he should had already said something to you about this already. But, to make you feel better just ask him!
2007-02-16 03:04:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah tell him but when u tell him, tell him ur gonna be there for him. thats proabably y he dosent want to tell u he fears he gonna lose u
2007-02-16 03:03:43 · answer #8 · answered by hEAt 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he probably needs support so it would be best to confront him with it and let him know that you are there to help.
2007-02-16 03:05:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋