other day I found a biopsy report laying on his floor. It was for a brain tumor that he had been diagnosed with 3 years ago. Brain tumors are not very curable and often recur in 3-5 years.
He is very emotional and I guess this would explain a lot. I would have to believe that he wonders how to tell me the news. He may have a minimum number of years to live.
Do I act like I don't know? Should I tell him that I saw the report? I do not feel that running is an option, as I just do not see that as a morally proper thing to do. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!! This has been tearing me apart, crying every night. I am also 39 y/o.
2007-02-16 02:55:49 · 8 answers · asked by cptkmwallman 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well 3 months is not really a very long period for a relationship to have been going on to get to the point where he lets you in on every intimate detail. I would estimate that this is an issue that he would normally not want to share with every person he meets.
But now that the cat is out of the bag, I think that you should talk to him. I hope that this document you found was left out in plain sight, & not buried deep in some file drawer.
In the meantime you may have jumped to a lot of conclusions on your own. That's why it is now necessary to let him know you saw the biopsy report.
If the report is 3 years old, then why was it left out in plain sight for anyone to see? He may have left it out on purpose hoping that you would be the 1st to bring up the subject.
Three years is a long time, & he may well have had the tumour taken care of by now.
I highly recommend that you talk to him as soon as you can.
Now there is something that you said about sticking with him because you think it's the "morally proper" thing to do.
That concerns me a great deal. Just for the sake of argument lets entertain the idea that he is terminally ill, & only has a short time to live. I doubt that he wants you hanging around strictly out of pity. Especially if you aren't emotionally grounded enough to handle what is going to be an eventual tradgedy.
Is he going to want to spend his last days with someone who is going to sink into a deep depression? Especially if he is going to know that he is the cause of it?
Talk to him 1st, and if he says he's dying, I suggest that you only stay with him if you know that you will experience joy in your life by being around him as much as you can before he is gone.
But if you are going to be torn apart, crying every night then you just aren't in the right frame of mind to handle being with a man in his position.
That doesn't make you a bad person, or weak, or immoral.
But you have to be realistic about it.
You have every right to seek out a joyfull life. If you can find it here then go for it, but if not it would be best for EVERYBODY if you made the right choice now.
Good Luck! :-)
2007-02-16 03:30:42 · answer #1 · answered by No More 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too am a programmer and that i understand how you and he feels. Programing is type of a drug habit, it is troublesome to describe, it is a very stressful mission. to furnish code that does precisely what's termed for is a authentic rush. You acually dream code once you're dozing and could upward push up in the midst of the evening and write it out! i understand this sounds stupid, besides the undeniable fact that it is a reality! in case you fairly love this guy, then tell him so, If no longer then basically stay associates and get on including your existence.
2016-12-04 06:17:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get serious. You've only been dating this guy for 3 months. If you saw the report laying on his floor, he probably put it there. Tell him you saw it and see if he wants to discuss the matter. If you then want to continue in the relationship, do so. If not, move on. You're close to 40, grow up.
2007-02-16 03:04:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wait for him to tell you.A number of things can happen.He may have had better news since then.Either way,it's obvious he hasn't told you for a reason.He may be offended and think you intruded on his privacy.And,it may hurt worse than what's already going on in his mind.
2007-02-16 03:03:09 · answer #4 · answered by aauntrobin 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There is no need to run away.Be with him if you really love him. Let him take his own time in telling you.
2007-02-16 03:00:16 · answer #5 · answered by ANU U 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just call it off
2015-03-12 21:47:16 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just break up with him
2007-02-16 04:13:11 · answer #7 · answered by Symbolic User 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
be truthful and take it from there.
2007-02-16 03:01:59 · answer #8 · answered by tewarienormy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋