I talk to my friend once in a while and I have met both his parents before. His father died yesterday and I just found out right now, should I call before attending the viewing or can I just go to the viewing without calling first (I'm at a loss for words and I don't know what to say yet) ? Thanks.
2007-02-16 02:30:39 · 18 answers · asked by MiamiD13 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Yes. Definitely support your friend. Call your friend and express your sympathy and let them know that you will be at the viewing and the funeral.
It seems hard to do, but your friend will so appreciate your efforts (all of them).
When you call, just start out by saying that you are so sorry for their loss and if there is anything you can do to call you. If they want to cry, just listen. If you can think of kind things to say about the father, say it. It will be awkward but you WILL be fine. If you still don't know what to say when you call, be honest and tell them that you don't really know what to say but you wanted to let them know that you are there for them.
2007-02-16 02:34:48 · answer #1 · answered by Christian93 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can make it to the viewing you should go to offer your condolences and your mere presence will show your friend that you are offering support. Also- going to the viewing will give you the chance to talk with other friends and family of his to see if there is anything you can do, collectively, to help out- babysit? dog sit? cook some dinner for him to keep in the fridge?
I would advise you not to call him now- imagine all that he is having to deal with- family coming into town, funeral arrangments, matters of the estate- all piled on top of emotional distress.
Just show up, bring flowers and a card and give him a hug and let him know to call you if he needs anything.
2007-02-16 10:49:26 · answer #2 · answered by dboat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When my dad died it meant a lot to me to see my friends at his viewing; some of whom I hadn't even been in close contact with previously. Their presence alone felt like it gave me strength to deal with the horrible loss. There's no need to say much, a simple "I'm really sorry for your loss" is plenty. Go to the viewing, your friend will never forget the fact that you were there for him.
2007-02-16 11:34:33 · answer #3 · answered by ElGuapo222 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should go to the wake because it shows support for your friend. Just say, "Sorry for your Loss".
There is no need to call unless the death notice says private viewing-family only. Then just send a sympathy card.
2007-02-16 10:35:22 · answer #4 · answered by ne11 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just go. You don't need to RSVP to calling hours.
As for what to say, don't worry. You're there to show support for your friend, and a hug and an "I'm so sorry." or "I can't tell you how sorry I am." is more than appropriate to say to both your friend and any other family members.
Depending on the family's receiving line, you may speak to relatives you don't know. Simply introduce yourself and say "I'm a friend of so-and-so. I'm so sorry for your loss." They'll introduce themselves and how they're related, and probably thank you for your show of sympathy & support.
2007-02-16 12:23:28 · answer #5 · answered by sylvia 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to go, just go. Any support would be appreciated. There are no hard and fast rules about this, unless the viewing is listed as private or family only. You can call the funeral home to find out. Don't worry about what to say, just being there is enough. I'm sure your friend would be grateful!
2007-02-16 10:35:24 · answer #6 · answered by I See You 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We just had a casual acquaintance who's wife died. We did not know his wife. We went to the viewing and gave him a hug and told him how sorry we were that this happened.
Our friend really appreciated us being there and his kids seemed really pleased as well.
Acts of kindness are for the other person but it is like planting seeds of love that will come back to you when you are in need.
2007-02-16 10:37:42 · answer #7 · answered by ~Raspberry Tea~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should call and offer your condolences,and durning the course of your conversation determine whether or not there will even be a viewing public or private, because in the latter only family or Very Close friends of the deceased or family should attend!!
2007-02-16 10:39:42 · answer #8 · answered by peachiepie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I think it would be nice if you went (and don't forget a sympathy card). I know that I really appreciated it when a few of my friends were there for me when my grandmother died. I wish more had come. I always try to be there for my friends when they need me too. Don't worry about what to say to him, just tell him that you are sorry for his loss and for him to let you know if he needs anything. Just let him know that you are there for him, he will really appreciate it. (You don't have to stay too long if you are not comfortable, he'll understand.)
2007-02-16 10:45:23 · answer #9 · answered by christina9202 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't call. Just go to the viewing. He'll be there and you can talk to him then.
Just ask him if he's doing okay. Ask him if there is anything you can do.
He may not want to talk.
Tell him that you are there for him, to call you anytime, day or night.
It's all you can do right now.
2007-02-16 10:36:01 · answer #10 · answered by summer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋