My boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years now. We really understand each other and are totally in sync, but there are times I ask myself if I can wait for him because he's still in school (studying medicine) and I've graduated. Moreover, we are the same age.
I sometimes feel the need to see other peolpe (not sleep with them mind u!), and at times I just feel that things wont work out because I'd have to wait another 4yrs for him to graduate. I feel like I should call it off now and start over with somone else, but I keep comparing every one else to him emotionally and they usually come out lacking.
Pls someone make sense of my ramblings, I need to know if wat I'm thining is natural and which way to turn.
2007-02-16 02:14:47 · 16 answers · asked by giness 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It sounds as though you're craving intimacy. And I don't mean physical intimacy, mind you!
Find some good friends - male or female - to hang out with while you wait for your boyfriend to finish school. See if you can get the closeness you need from them.
If you two really understand each other so well, it will be well worth the wait!
2007-02-16 02:18:15 · answer #1 · answered by Meg M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's obvious to me there's a lot of doubt in the relationship on your part. Ask him how he truly feels and see if you guys both share the same feelings!
If you really do love him, you won't do anything to jeopardize the relationship by "seeing other people" or not waiting for him. If this is a person you plan on spending the rest of your life with, 4 years is not that long of a wait when you take a look at the bigger picture! 4 years is chump change!
Has he just started school recently? I can tell you from experience with my present girlfriend of 1 year and several months that when she started Law School, our relationship took the exact same course as yours did and it led to a lot of fights and misunderstandings. Be true to yourself and be true to him if you do love him. No one can tell you that you do or don't love him.
If he's studying to be a doctor, you're going to have to realize that his profession will be very time consuming as well. But, if you can come to an understanding of this and learn to be patient, you guys will be together for a very long time!
Just remember not to break up a long relationship because you don't think you can wait. You have to KNOW you can't wait for him. I'd say give it another 6 months to a year, and see how you feel. If by the end of the 6 months or year, you still have this feelings, then you know you cannot wait!
Also, try taking up a hobby that you can do when he is at school so you don't feel so lonesome! When my girlfriend started law school, I waited about 6 months before I started college and we're happier than ever!
I think you're having these feelings because you're used to him being there every day for 4 years and now all of a sudden you're taking a backseat to his studying and school. Trust me, it sucks! But hopefully you'll get used to it!
Good luck!
2007-02-16 10:28:05 · answer #2 · answered by Joseph B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a long term relationship and this pretty much how thinks go. Right now, you're life together may not be all that exciting or fun, but you have to realize that going to school is important. True love is about making compromises, sacrificing and supporting each other. It's also about sticking by someone side through the tough times.
I say wait it out. You seem to have a good thing and He's going to be a doctor. Good for you. When all is said and done, it will truly bring you closer and will be well worth it.
2007-02-16 10:20:21 · answer #3 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So are you in love with him or do you just love him? Just me talking here, but if you are in love with him I don't think you would consider wanting to see other people. You guys have been together for 4 years and you say that you will have to wait 4 more years for him to graduate. It doesn't sound as though you are prepared to wait for 4 more years. Do you really feel like starting over or do you love him enough to wait? If you start over and begin to compare the new guy to the old guy then that is not very fair to the new guy?! good luck!
2007-02-16 10:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by jule1125 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure being in a relationship with someone who is committed to finishing school is a difficult thing for anyone. I also believe your confusion is understandable. This really depends on you, what you want, and what you are willing to sacrifice to get it.
Why not sit down and discuss this with your boyfriend. Communication is very important in any relationship. You have some alternatives. You are both young, it's understandable that you would want to go out with friends and have fun.
If you were truly "in sync" and understood each other, this wouldn't even be an issue. Waiting four years for someone requires an enormous commitment and sacrifice. Only you can decide if you are up to it.
Best of luck to both of you.
2007-02-16 10:26:41 · answer #5 · answered by Mugsy's Place 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well yes lol of cours it is every girl goes through that one time or anoter in ur case if i was in ur case i would do it constantly uv been with him for a very long time and lol hell how can u not think of other relationships to have but do u really want to end a 4 year ordeal that took forever to build i mean if ur serisly thinking or considering it then kind of take to other ppl ur just dating him ur not married even though socity now treats dating like being married u cant talk to others u cant do anything its just as if u were married no dating all it is is seeing how someone is u can talk to others and see how thay are to no harm in that but yall have been dating for 4 years and aparntly u like his dating style so stay with him for alittel longer no harm but see how others are 2 hope this helped u out good luck
2007-02-16 10:22:56 · answer #6 · answered by twistedlove10204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may love him, but you're not IN love with him, and you're definitely not ready to commit.
Most women that answer this would bash you for being 'insensitive, selfish and a dog' if you were a dude.
Just talk to him about it and feel him out. He may just feel the same way, but you owe it to him to at least put it out there on the table after 4 years.
Trust me, the grass ain't greener out there. Just more grass on a different lawn!
2007-02-16 10:20:55 · answer #7 · answered by Tough Love 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you feel somewhat neglected bc of his busy schedule - but if you really loved him, you would support him! This is a rough time for him, he's taking on alot.
Talk to him and try to work out a way to have 'date night' so you can have time together. It may be that you need to date other people during this time - if it's right for you to be together, it will work out.
2007-02-16 10:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by 1912 Hudson 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you can't wait for him for four years, then you probably will have trouble being married to him the rest of your life. Stop comparing others to him, and don't cheat on him, tell him how you feel. Pray about it and try to figure out what God would want you to do. Good luck and God bless!
2007-02-16 10:19:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal to have other male friends if you're already feeling this way talk to him about your concerns (a good relationship has good communication) and if you two do not come to an understanding maybe it's time to break up
2007-02-16 10:18:13 · answer #10 · answered by Love always, Kortnei 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋