If you are married to a Policeofficer, how do you cope with the stress......of his, her job......?

Question

Would you give reasons, and how you deal with this..............

Answer 1

As a Police Officer myself I can say this can be a difficult topic for loved ones to understand. There is a book that most Police academies are requiring Officers to read. The contents of this book can also help friends, family, and loved ones, understand what an officer goes through and why some changes occur. I recommend this book to you and anyone who is thinking of becoming a Police Officer.

Good luck, not only can it save his life but it can save a marriage.


Book name: Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement
Author: Kevin Gilmartin

Answer 2

Very tough ! I'm not a Police Officer or married to one however my sister was and brother in law is ! So I do understand some of what they go through ! Quite often thats why cops marry cops, same as Teachers marry Teachers, or someone who has taught to have an idea of what its like ! My brother in law is now off duties on a pension after having a work related breakdown and has been for a while and my sister retired from the Federal Police as well around the same time. I think the Police need more powers of arrest if their to do their jobs safely and more efficiently.

Answer 3

Like everyone else it seems, i'm not married to a cop, but almost, we have been living together for a year.
I think a lot of how you deal with the stress of the job depends a lot on where you are (city, suburbs or county) and how they deal with the stress. For one thing, city cops tend to be a lot more stressed themselves because there is a lot more stuff going on, which makes for a more stressful home life as it tends to rub off on those closest to them.
When it comes to our home life, my boyfriend does bring work "home with him" sometimes and dealing with his stress is tough. To be honest, whenever he's stressed i tend to leave him alone, let him burn off steam by going to the gym or playing video games. However when it comes to burning off that stress together we go camping or go ride our horses, anything that's away from the town we live in.
I do worry about him, however i probably feel a little more relaxed than some other wives/girlfriends etc because his history prior to being a cop (marine sniper and world champion black belt) means he is a little more ahead of the game than anyone who has just been to academy.
Hope this helps

Answer 4

I'm not married to a cop but I have had a long term relationship with one that included living together. I can tell you this.....they get enough stress on the job and dont need more of the same when they get home. Dont gripe about his being gone too much or working weird hours. He cant help it and would rather have a normal schedule himself but accepts the hours because it goes with the job.

Dont bug him with questions about what he does and things he sees on the job. Its natural to be curious, but he probably wont want to talk about it after having worked the scene, written a lengthy report, briefed his superiors, and maybe even had to repeat it several times to different levels of command.

In the area of stress relief. Be flexible with your lovemaking habits. If he comes in at 3:00 AM and wakes you up dont act annoyed that you got woke up.......snuggle up to him and get something started. He will need the stress relief.

As to your own stress at the idea that every time he leaves for work it may be the last time you see him.....sorry but I dont think theres anything that can help that.

Answer 5

i have a friend whos married to a cop. when they were married he'd been out of the military (3 yr. service) and became a cop. at first, it was really hard for my friend.about 11 years ago, they had their first child and they also had a second child (9, i think). it was a little hard for my friend 'cause she had the 2 kids, worried about the husband. its hard for her even now when he's got 2 or 3 years left before retirement. He's a lieu of a local department. he still goes around in a cop car and goes out on dangerous calls. she worries about his safety but as the years went by, she always trusted his judgement and reminded him to be safe. she also prayed a ton. in the four years that i've known the family and been friends with the wife, i never once heard about her husband being hurt.

Answer 6

Read about it. They are probably going to keep quiet about some things on their shift. It would be a great idea to touch base with the other officers' spouses and develop a support group. Nothing formal, just play dates with the kids, invite them over for dinner once in a while and hang out at the library if you can. Take the kids out.

Answer 7

It is tough, but you just have to hope and pray that all the training and street wise learning, kicks in when its needed. Its hard to put everything down in writing and there are alwys pros an dcons and everone has their own opinions, but most important is to trush and do the best you can to support that person , and hope that that person, does not fall prey to mistakes. It is hard, and its a tough job, and many people can cope and many cannot. "I" do the best I can to "come home", right now I am a single father of two girls, and I will do everything in my power to perform my duties to the best of my ability for my public, and to come home.

Answer 8

Higher stress levels affect both the mental and physical health of a person. Deep breathing is a simple relaxation technique which can be used to effectively lower stress levels at any time.There are many deep breathing relaxation techniques which when followed will make you feel relaxed.More details and remedies at http://deeplyrelax.com

Answer 9

im not married to one, yet. we dated years ago, and now back together. yes, the job is stressful for you and them. it is tough with the strange hours and the dangers that you both know they are facing everyday. you just have to have faith that they will be safe, not run into any major problems and try not to dwell on it. it can be the hardest thing you've ever done. and for those who aren't involved w/cops but are wanting to bc they have the hots for men in uniforms, don't do it for that reason. it is a life that takes a lot of faith and trust. you don't always have your better half there for holidays or special occassions. you don't always get them home when their shift ends bc they are needed to cover a shift or they get into paperwork. you need to really love that person before you commit to marriage. marriage is hard enough but adding that lifestyle on top of it makes it the worst. but, if you are understanding, supportive, loving, and talk about things with one another it can be the best relationship ever. for me, i know what my man does, his job is more dangerous than a reg beat cop but i love it bc he loves it. the officer must be honest with his wife if something happens. you don't want it coming out later. anyway, it gets easier. trust me.

Answer 10

I try to be there for him and to let him know that I am here for him if he needs to talk or just vent. Sometimes it is funny the STUPID stuff that he deals with,sometimes the stuff he deals with is not so funny. I respect when he cannot tell me things, I know that is for his protection and mine. I do not pressure him to tell me what he cannot and I know when not to ask for details. I know that when he has had a particularly bad day to give him room and let him deal with it on his own, he will come to me when he needs me. I know its hard to see someone killed and he has had several occasions where he could not save someone and that is hard to deal with. So I am his rock to lean on when he needs someone else to be strong, and I am a soft place to land when he needs a hug.