is it wrong for a toddler boy to have a doll ?

Question

well, i dunno, but me and my boyfriend are arguing about it. he thinks it is wrong, but i know it's right .. it helps baby boys learn to take care of a baby and kinda be a daddy. and i keep telling him, "yeh, once he starts playing with a girl doll, we'll go out and let him pick a baby boy doll." is it wrong?
thanks everyone

Answer 1

None of the many child development experts I know and respect are concerned at all by the idea of a three-year-old boy playing with a baby doll. They all think that doll play is fine for girls and boys. The sort of playing kids this age exhibit--a mixture of daily baby-care activities and some very un-parent-like tossing around--sounds like very normal, healthy three-year-old behavior. Boys play with baby dolls because they are fascinated by the important grown-ups in their lives. They admire their moms and dads and want to be like them. By playing at taking care of a baby, they are learning about that activity--how it feels to be on the giving end of loving care, rather than only the receiving end. They are practicing skills and attitudes that they will use years later, when they are parents themselves.
It's really a shame that many boys are taught, from a very early age, to feel ashamed of these perfectly normal, healthy care-giving impulses. There is not one shred of evidence that little boys who are allowed to play with dolls grow up to be sissies, or (as many parents seem to fear) gay. However, I think that preventing a young boy from playing with dolls does sometimes lead to a sense of anger or confusion that can surface later as a tendency to act in an exaggeratedly masculine way, and to despise any appearance of "softness" in other boys.

Answer 2

Toddlers, (fortunately) are not tied down to male/female stereotypes, they don't start gender identification until around age 4 (unless someone purposely teaches them 'trucks are for boys, dolls are for girls). If you put a 3 yo girl and a 3 yo boy together in a room with a trunk of dress up clothes, the little boy is as likely to don a skirt and floppy hat as the little girl is to don a cowboy hat and a toy gun...my 2.5 yo son LOVES to play house...and he either "has a baby" and is the daddy, or ends up being "the baby". Either way, he doesn't seem especially damaged by playing with his sisters' dolls. Tell your bf to open his mind a little and try playing right along with the lil guy...he may realize that "playing dolls" is way more fun than bashing trucks!

Answer 3

I was teaching preschool one morning in a school that attracts many Hispanic children. One little boy was blabbing away in Spanish, talking to his little friend about what they wanted to do. They started talking about the little kitchen, and all of the sudden, they were throwing a lot of English words into their talk because in their home language, boys don't play "kitchen" with the little people (aka dolls) and cooking and stuff because it's "women's work." In my house, there is no "women's work and man's work." My husband is more proficient with baby diapers. What's wrong with him playing with a doll? Get him an Elmo or GI Joe if you have issues. A doll is a doll.

Answer 4

My middle son asked for only a baby doll for his third Christmas. I bought him a very cheap doll at the dollar store. He was thrilled. He played with it for a whole two weeks, then it stayed at the bottom of the toy box until it eventually got thrown away. It's just a phase, and there's nothing wrong with a boy playing with a doll. (After all .... G.I. Joes are "Dolls" too!)

Answer 5

It's called child development. Don't stop the curiosity. I have a toddler niece who is into dinosaurs and trucks, is that wrong? Ask him that. If he says no, why is there a double standard? All 3 of my boys played with dolls for at least a little while.

Answer 6

You need to discuss your boyfriend's homophobic fears with him before they influence your child overly much. There is nothing, I repeat, NOTHING that can "turn a boy gay". Playing with dolls will only teach him how to take care of a baby. From where most men SHOULD be.. that isn't a bad thing. Tell him to relax. Get a grip.

Answer 7

My daycare provider says it's perfectly normal for younger boys to play with dolls. She's taken many child development classes for her degree and keeping up her licence. As toddlers your children haven't been affected by society's ideals of boys vs girls. There's really nothing wrong with it. Heck, my husband even had a cabbage patch doll when he was younger...he's perfectly fine.

In fact it's suggested to get a doll for your child when there's a sibbling on the way, to help them see how to care for an infant and they tend to accept them a little better....

There's nothign wrong with it.

Answer 8

I don't think there is anything wrong with that. My middle son had a doll. He got it for his first birthday. Now at six, he is all boy! Having a doll will not "make him gay". There is nothing wrong with a girl having a truck, so there is nothing wrong with having a boy having a doll.

Answer 9

In fact ,my answer is the same as others,"its not wrong for a boy of toddler age to play or even have it when he sleeps.I guss it gives them the comfort that there is presence of a friend.(the doll) Please don't get the wrong idea that the child has some problem.Anyway i hope that your BF would understand u after realising that he was on the wrong.

Answer 10

No, it is a great thing for boys to play with dolls! It can teach them compassion, and how to relate to others. Even GI Joe is a doll, if you think about it.