Is there any help for my 10 daughters bad behavior?

Question

My Sara since the age 9mt started w/ syotic breath holding. Dr said not life threat At 2 she slapt Gram in the face and 1wk later me. At 3 she began steeling(norm) kinder. steal from class mates bad 2 teacher hit others 1st gr. Lies about self achievements and gifts from mates, all stolen. We moved to Germany at 7yrs. Put in 1st because lang. barrier "weeks in teacher said see a Dr. she needs meds. took her Dr. said no drugs she is high intellectual intelli near end of school yr she was hurt at school falling from tree no damag 5 days in hosp 4 test ok Teacher said 2 me + hus. it was the best class all year while she was away. The school said she must go some other sch.
Next sch. same prob. Sara says it is everyone else not her.She has really no friends,she doesn't come home, she runs away from sch. so I can't find her comes home at 10 or 11 at night. Steals from stores, friends, parents, us,she refuses any rules smart mth. I am home and hus. works. 2 smlr. kids 3 and 5mths.good kids

Answer 1

Does she ever complain of headaches? Sounds like she may be BiPolar/Manic. All of these behaviors are conducive to Bipolarism. She is probably a very angry child and can go from extremeyl loving to violent rage at the drop of a hat. This can be dangerous if not addressed immediately. By the time she's about 12, she may start to exhibit violence towards her schoolmates or parents. One thing I've observed is this, you [the parent] seem to be afraid of her or at least afraid to approach her about her behaviors and the fact that her behavior is simply not aceptable and will not be tolerated. Let her know that you will attempt to get help for her, but whatever the diagnosis and treatment may be, she must comply. Once it's diagnosed& treated, put your foot down and don't allow her to use her disorder as an excuse for unacceptable behavior. Be prepared for the outbursts. If you and her dad discuss her behavior, do so in private. Children tend to act out what they have heard the parents say about their behavior, using that as an excuse. Does this sound familiar? 'You said I was <________> and that's how <______> kids act. I can't help it. You said so yourself! Why are you punishing me? They started it! I was 'nt talking to them! They started yelling at me! " All of these things should sound familiar, if not, get ready. She has some emotional problems that need to be addressed after initial assessment has been made.Keep in mind, a Psychiatrist needs to assess the BiPolarism and perhaps may recomend a Pyschologist for other behavioral problems. Be aware of her when she interacts with the other children. This type of behavior is known to cause an attack against siblings by biting them, burning them with matches/lighters, pinching ( while the older child is holding the younger one), ex. the younger child bursts into tears for no APPARENT reason. Please make an appointment with a Pyschiatrist as soon as possible if you want to spare the family some hurt and misery for the next ten years. This visit , diagnosis and treatment will change her life and she'll always be grateful to you for doing it! God bless you!

Answer 2

Your daughter seems to be screaming for attention and acceptance from others perhaps because she's not receiving it at home. Or, perhaps, she has been allowed to get away with everything she does at home and is now having a hard time accepting the fact that the rest of the world does not work that way. If she has no friends, my guess would be that she's used to getting her own way all the time and might come across as bossy or "snotty." If she lies and steals nobody will want to hang out with her either. When children behave the way your daughter has been, it's almost always certainly because of something that is going on in the home. That does not mean you are a bad parent!!! You may have the best intentions when it comes to your daughter and have been unknowingly causing more harm than good. It's been called "accidental parenting." I know a woman who's daughter had been acting like your daughter for years. She took pride in being an involved and loving parent. Eventually her daughter ended up in drug rehab where it was discovered that the mothers husband had been sexually molesting the poor child for years and nobody ever knew. I am TOTALLY AGAINST medicating your child. I think you should try therapy...WITH her. Otherwise, she will most likely become extremely depressed and (God forbid) turn to drugs to numb her pain and sadness. No matter what, be honest and listen to your daughter. To answer your question...YES, there is lots and lots of help available for your daughters behavior! It won't just come to you...you have to go out there and get it! Don't give up!

Answer 3

Your daughter is going through a normal developmental stage. The more you try to fight it, the worse it will get. If you can stick with it, and help your daughter feel secure because you are available to her, she will eventually outgrow this. Make sure that her daddy is around her as much as possible, and she will get used to him. Gradually, he will be able to care for her as well, although she may prefer you for a long time. I do agree that life can be made a bit easier for you with a good baby carrier or warp or sling. That way, she can be close to you and you can have your hands free. This has nothing to do with breastfeeding. Some babies have a stronger need for attachment than others, although all babies need a strong attachment to grow up feeling secure. It is normal in all babies. It might help you both to go out together and make some friends. It will be good for her to see other people, even though she may still be in your arms or carried on your hip. Look for a new mothers' group at a community center or library, or seek out a La Leche League leader and start attending meetings.

Answer 4

I know how you feel, I've been in your shoes when my oldest daughter was 9. She's 10 now and much better behaved. I can't stress this enough: STRICT CONSEQUENCES. The first hint of the attitude she gets a warning (make eye contact, make sure she knows your serious). If she continues: BAM, off to time out, or some sort of grounding, such as, either (or) no friends, play time, toys, IPODs, bikes....what ever she values. Next and most important, if the attitude continues, it's spanking time. You must be willing to go through with all three of these steps if you want to be successful. The spanking must be a HUGE deal, not just a light smack on the tush.

Good Luck

Answer 5

DISCIPLINE!!!!! you have to discipline bad behavior or it will continue and get worse!!! call nanny 911!!!! No seriously, she sounds very troubled maybe you should seek some kind of counseling for her, maybe if she can talk about what is wrong with someone who can remain neutral it will help, nothing changes overnight and you will just have to try it and see if it works or not... I would see a couple of Dr.'s and see what they say get a couple of different opinions and go from there, it seems that there is something not right and you need to figure it out before it gets too out of hand

Answer 6

You could try a behaviour chart. Make a chart with grid boxes for each day of the week, and every day that passes without a bad incident put a star on her chart. Decide together how many good behaviour stars per week would equate to a present or reward of a trip somewhere she wants to go. I know it smacks of bribery, but I promise you it works, and is a tried and tested method used by teachers. It includes your daughter and makes her aware that her actions have consequences, both bad AND good.

Answer 7

Learn to type! Abbrieviations aren't always the answer. Secondly, who is the parent here? You obviously need to step up to the plate. Homeschool her. That ways, she can't escape school and run away (unless you let her). Spank her little behind when she gets home. Ground her. BE THE PARENT!

Answer 8

In most cases I'm against spankings, I always felt they should be used as a last resort..

But in this case. your daughter need a spanking.. plain and simple.

Answer 9

I agree completely with Daizy♥23, and olschoolmom, follow their instructions and she will improve.

Answer 10

you need to discipline her. if you did that you wouldn't have all these problems. if she's highly intelligent, get her involved in something that she' interested in.