my chidren are 14,6 and 5 yrs.My youngest has just started school.My partner says it`s my time for me and not to have another baby.I can`t help but feel broody all my friends are younger than me and getting pregnant.I feel i`m missing out.
2007-02-16 00:47:06 · 25 answers · asked by theresa_rawson 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Don't feel bad if younger folks having kids. It's their time having babies.
Enjoy yours!! Enjoy watching and spending time your younglins growing up. It is time just for you and kids.
I know what you are talking about and I have 3 kids myself (14,11, and 4) and I am in my 40's as well. I am done with babies. =)
Once your children growing up...they will have their babies and then you can enjoy them more when you become a Grandma!
Wish ya loads of blessings and hugs!
2007-02-16 00:56:50 · answer #1 · answered by Jadesparrow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with your partner...you are going to have these maternal feelings only because of the friends around you not really because this is definitely what you really want, even tho it could be and if so, that's fine. However, after the age of 36 reproduction becomes more difficult to achieve, by 40 there is a higher probability of difficulty in a pregnancy.
I don't want to dissuade you from what you may strongly feel is truly what you want...but all things considered, while your friends are doing night feedings, changing diapers and going through teething, colds, illnesses etc., you are now at a stage where like your partner said, you can take time for you.
At this age...you will be close to 51 when your youngest is 10 if pregnancy takes place very soon, you will be able to retire from the workforce or from parenting full time at around age 57-58 instead of at the current 53 when your youngest is 18.
Meanwhile, your partner who will have been looking forward to perhaps travelling or other things with just the two of you, will not be able to do so without there being a lot of extra packing, working around schooling etc.
You aren't really missing out on anything you haven't already had the priviledge of enjoying, by not having a child...but you've had 3 healthy children and now you really don't need to miss out on the YOU time that all those many times of caregiving has earned you. You will feel broody, you will feel unsettled and uncertain and what-if-ish but in the end, you will also not feel that you made any error in judgement...besides you have grandbabies to look forward to and they are every bit your babies as your own are :)
Rather than planning a pregnancy...plan a trip, take a class, join a fitness club whatever....you can still have all the time to nurture but you just won't have the long range committment that an infant will bring you.
Afraid I have to agree with your partner...
2007-02-16 01:17:43 · answer #2 · answered by dustiiart 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there - if you choose to add to your family then do so because thats what you want - a lovely big family - not because your friends are having babies!! your experience and advice for your younger friends will be invaulable to them - i'd keep in touch that way if i were you, however, if you have that amazing urge and you go ahead please do not feel your age is a problem - you have a 5 yr old! you obviuosly can cope with the stresses of motherhood so i wouldn't worry about your age when your children are 16 or 20 or whatever!! lots of luck xx
2007-02-16 01:07:50 · answer #3 · answered by emma m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just cant imagine truly wanting another baby at 40. Your youngest is going to school and probably you get all your work done and then wonder what to do. I remember that stage in my life. Hon dont have a baby -get a job. If you want to take care of babies then babysit, or open a day care. Get paid to love them!!Those three you have are going to only get more expensive and will all too soon be off to their own lives and you will need something to sustain you.
2007-02-16 01:06:50 · answer #4 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't have a child because you think you're missing out on something. If you AND your partner both want another child, then go for it. But you need to be on the same page on this one - it's a hugely important decision.
There's nothing wrong with being an older mom - but you should do it for the right reasons.
2007-02-16 00:53:57 · answer #5 · answered by Amanda M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
exactly WHAT are you missing out? You have THREE kids already?!? My vote is 3 is enough. Trust me, if you get pregnant with 3 kids, you'd be soooooooooo tired. Your body is just not quite as "young" as the last time you got preggers. A pregnancy at this stage would add so much stress to you mentally AND physically. You have 3 kids to deal with. You want to reserve some energy to give them TLC not being tired all the time with a new baby and for your body to recover.
2007-02-16 00:53:03 · answer #6 · answered by mom_of_ndm 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really want to go back to nappies just now your one child is going into puberty? You will go nuts, with a baby asking for attention and a teen wanting to be in the middle of the spot lights.
Besides, 40 is (with all do respect) old when it comes to having kids. There are several risks involved, such as Down syndrom and complications during birth. Additionally: it means that of you child hits puberty, you will hit meno-pause. Jolly! Not a good idea if you ask me.
No, I would not go there, if I were you.
2007-02-16 00:58:22 · answer #7 · answered by MM 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, some mean answers you got. But, expect that when you post around here.
If you and your partner are not "on board" together with what is best for you and your family, then it is not time. I know you have that motherly urge but it has to be a choice you and your partner make together.
40 is not too frickin' old to have babies. I cant believe people would say that.
Good luck.
2007-02-16 00:55:16 · answer #8 · answered by Mum to 2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very possible. One of my friends is 23 and had a baby by a 54 year old man. Her son is now 3. It is the older man's kid, he had suspicions so they went the paternity testing route. The father has a 32 year old son, a 24 year old son, and a 22 year old daughter...you do the math!
2016-05-24 06:30:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what they call a life choice, Just think where you would like to be in 10 years time. At 50 would you like to be experiencing some 'me' time or still doing the school run, football club/ballet lessons. I had my third at 39 and she is the light of my life despite being scared of what could go wrong and being very tired and very sick. And that 'me' time , c'est la vive.
2007-02-16 03:44:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋