My colleague has offered me her wedding tiara for my wedding this year. Its a sweet offer and a nice enough tiara, but some stones are missing which I would have to replace, and I just did not see myself wearing a tiara. I tried it on and it looks ok, but I just don't want to use it. How can I say no thank you without offending her? She is a really sweet friend, and I feel bad rejecting her offer.
2007-02-16 00:16:39 · 189 answers · asked by sparkleythings_4you 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The good old sickness excuse is still valid. Tell her tiaras generally give you a headache because of the weight on your head and even if you do wear one for your wedding you will have to get one that is ultra light and not a problem. This would eliminate her tiara but still leave your options open to wear one if you wish.
2007-02-16 00:59:44 · answer #1 · answered by insp.clouseau 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I can see that you are in an awkward situation. My suggestion would be so as not to offend 1) Say that a close member of the family has provided a tiara for you and as she is a friend she should realise that a family member may easily get offended etc., However, if you are having bridesmaids then why not have the chief bridesmaid wear it and if possible have their hair so it falls over some of the tiara in gentle waves so to speak. Ask her is she is OK with that because you 'so' appreciate her kindness. I am sure she will be understanding as a friend as you already recognise her sweet qualities. Whenever you big day is I sincerely hope everything is magical for you and Good Luck.
2007-02-16 02:42:27 · answer #2 · answered by deep in thought 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
157 answers when I started typing - do you really need another?
It shouldn't even be a question as no matter how well-meaning she might be, I would never dream of offering something on a par with stones missing for what is to many a very special day - is she all there?
You say colleague and sweet friend - which is she? Regardless, you just say thank you but no - it is YOUR day and you are not obligated by what is after all just an offer - she will prabably take it fine if you just say no tiara. Have a lovely wedding.
2007-02-16 09:44:53 · answer #3 · answered by Serendipity 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thank her and tell her you really appreciate her offer
and that if you were wearing a tiara it would definitely be hers but that with the dress you have chosen a tiara doesnt work
when i need to say no i use a little trick - ADQ
acknowledge the request or offer - thanks for the offer of the tiara
disclose something - with my dress a tiara doesnt look right
question - you understand that dont you?
it has got me out of many things i didnt want to do without causing offense
i am sure she wont be offended - she is a friend after all
above all - enjoy your wedding day!!
2007-02-16 04:21:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pull her aside, don't do it in a crowd, and tell her you appreciate the offer but the dress you picked out, or are looking at, doesn't look good with a tiara and the hair style you will be wearing.Or the tiara will take away from the dress and you want something to compliment the dress. It was a great offer, but she should wrap it up and save it for her daughter someday.
2007-02-16 00:27:23 · answer #5 · answered by All 4 JR 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank her for the kind offer and say that IF you decide to wear a tiara then you might just take her up on her offer. Dont make a big deal out of it. She shouldnt be offended - she should understand that for your wedding you want everything just perfect. It will all work out grand !
2007-02-16 01:16:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you arent wearing a tiara at all it shouldnt be a problem. Just tell her you tried it on and it was pretty but you dont think you want to wear a tiara w your dress but you appreciate the offer. That should be fine - not everyone wants to wear a tiara at thier wedding and I am guessing she will understand that.
2007-02-16 00:21:27 · answer #7 · answered by jillmarie2000 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all - congratulations. Remember, this is your day and you are the most important person.
People like to muscle in and try and get a bit of the action when someone is getting married - I'll bet you have had all sorts of people offering to lend you stuff or do something for you. It's called reflected glory.
However, you will never get a chance to shine like this ever again so be a little bit selfish.
If you don't want to hurt her feelings, say you have decided that you would rather wear flowers than a tiara, or that your head must be much bigger than hers as you wore the tiara round the house for half and hour and it gave you a headache or that you are wearing a family one that your fiancee's mother has produced or something like that.
Please remember, this is your day, not your friend's, who has already had her day in the limelight. It is the one chance you will get to behave like a princess, so just go ahead and do it. If she is any kind of friend, she will understand: if she does not understand, do you want to keep her as a friend?
Have a great day and don't let yourself get stressed out by too many situations like this beforehand - you will find this is the first in a long line of irritations (like writing thank you letters for the presents, trying to get Aunt Mabel to the right seat, bridesmaids being sick, mother's hat etc.). Keep smiling and breathe deeply.
2007-02-16 17:16:26 · answer #8 · answered by Charlotte B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't lie! Why do some people seem to think lying is a great solution to a problem!! Simply tell her the truth - that you don't want to wear a tiara for your wedding. I really doubt you will be offending her by saying that. She'll definitely be hurt if you lie to her, though.
Have a nice, tiara-less wedding :)
2007-02-16 03:31:34 · answer #9 · answered by CTU 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure your friend will understand that this is your special day and that you want everything to be just how you like it.
Thank her very much for offering you the tiara, but tell her it's not what you had in mind. Then, if you haven't already bought a head dress but intend to wear one, why not invite her to go with you when you do buy one?
It shows you appreciate her opinion, but demonstrates that you don't have to have the same taste in everything.
Wedding are stressful enough, and your friend would hate to think she was adding to that stress. Just do it, and then try and relax and enjoy your day as much as possible.
Good luck on the big day!
2007-02-16 02:30:43 · answer #10 · answered by luckylou808 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋