I'm single, and own my own home. My daughter is staying with me for a couple of months while applying to law school. She has a fulltime job and contributes a little to the household expenses. She has a new beau. I am uncomfortable with them having sex in my house when he visits. I also have a son in college who brings a girlfriend home. I'd like to hear from people on both sides of this issue, the parents, and their grown kids.
2007-02-16 00:10:08 · 21 answers · asked by toughjoycey55 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I understand your position. Consider that you have brought these people up from birth and have passed your values on to them in that time. That being said, I don't see a problem with you reminding them that this issue causes you a lot of anxiety and you would at the very least like to be oblivious to the fact it is occurring if it is. I think both of your off spring should be able to respect your position and be discrete, while at the same time, you should be able to recognize that they are adults now with adult needs. Just a thought, Are / were their thoughts considered now and in the past as you pursued your love life?? You can't expect them not to follow your lead if this has happened in the past.
2007-02-16 00:33:28 · answer #1 · answered by al b 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
can you say statutory rape? The age of consent in Texas is 17 {Texas Penal Code Section 21.11}. However , "...It is an affirmative defense to prosecution under this section that the actor...was not more than three years older than the victim and of the opposite sex...(and) did not use duress, force, or a threat against the victim at the time of the offence" and is not a registered sex offender {Section 21.11(b)}. Section 21.12 further prohibits all sexual contact between an employee of a school (including educators)and a student enrolled at the primary or secondary school where said employee works. No age is specified by the statute (thus, even if the student has reached consent age of 17, it is still a violation), and violations are a second degree felony. ''Not all boys are heartless, sex-searching jerks ou know. A lot of them have to same views i do about intimacy.'' yeah and age 15 you know EVERYTHING about guys. All I know is, that when I was 18, I was not looking for a highschool girl to date, I was looking forward to college and started dating the girl who is now my fiancee. So when I hear about an 18 year old kid intrested in a 15 year old, all I see is him wanting sex.
2016-05-24 06:27:02 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I had to deal with this once. I didn't have a problem with the boyfriend staying over night, but when I came home from an over-night visit, I found the both of them in the same bed so later that day I told her that I wouldn't "sleep or have sex" with a man in my house when she was there out of respect for her, and I expected the same respect from her. What she did when I wasn't there was her choice. I am a widow by the way and my daughers were both adults in their 20's. My daughters and I have always had open communication. She just said "okay" and that solved the problem. There's another bedroom here to accommodate their guests. Tell them to use it! And to clarify, when I'm not there and expected in the morning, they could do what they want, but sleep in separate rooms. Hope this helps. And I hope you haven't already set a prededent because you are going to get opposition. Just tell them how you feel and hope they understand and respect you enough to listen.
2007-02-16 00:42:48 · answer #3 · answered by Blondie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have four sons, two are grown and out of the house, one is in college. And my answer to this question is absolutely not. If they choose to have sex, they should get a room, or do whatever, but not in my home. I would be very surprised if they even considered asking me the question. It is a matter of respect. So for me personally absolutely not, no sex in my home unless you are married, and in that case you would have your own house. However, you need to go with what is acceptable and correct for you and your family. Good luck and God bless****
2007-02-16 00:17:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I know allot of people will say not if she is married . The question is are you comfortable with that happening in your home ? If you are not then maybe you should talk to her about this . Just let her know you feel uncomfortable with your baby doing that . I say no matter what she is going to have sex there or somewhere else . Just talk to her or even both of them . GOOD LUCK !
2007-02-16 00:28:48 · answer #5 · answered by Me777 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been there.
My son is 20 and I know how you feel.
I guess my feelings on it is this.
I know he is not a virgin, I know they are having sex.
I guess, they are going to have sex regardless, wether its in my home or somewhere else, they are old enough to make those decisions for themselves.
But on your part, if you really are uncomfortable with it, tell them that, it is your house, therefore, your rules.
There is no reason to be uncomfortable in your own home.
If you feel strongly about it, don't allow it.
Let them get their own place to live and they can have all the sex they want.
That's how I feel about it, take it for what it's worth.
It's hard to think of them as adults when your a father sometimes.
2007-02-16 00:25:37 · answer #6 · answered by Mr R 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She is an adult.
You should be happy that she is attending law school, contributing to paying bills, and pursuing something. She might be stressed at times and wants to relax and enjoy herself.
I am sure once she is done with school and everything she will plan to move out once she has it all organized.
If your son who's in college brings a girl home, they most likely do things too. You don't seem to have a problem with that though.
But if you don't believe the boy is right for her, it is her decision. You will have to let her experience life for herself.
And as generations change, people will have sex at younger ages. When you were a teenager, it was definately not ok to have sex because parents were more strict. Generations and people change.
2007-02-16 00:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by John Becker 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
Absolutely not. Since your daughter lives with you, she still has to abide by your rules regardless of her age. The same goes for your son. You should tell both of your children that they should have sex someplace else and not at your home because its disrespectful and rude.
My brother had done it one time and my mother knew he brought home a woman home to have sex with. The following day, my mother embarassed my brother and let him know that his behavior was unacceptable.
Tell your children that they have the right to bring over their lovers to visit, not have sex in your home.
2007-02-16 00:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by mcneill_35 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is a tough one. If they are as financially responsible as you project, maybe then they could take a weekend on their own to get it out of their system.
I don't know, if you have unmarried sex in your house, it is too hypocritical to expect your adult daughter not to have sex in your house.
I know I wouldn't be able to have unmarried sex in my parents house with their permission, but my parents are kind of different. Maybe you should tell them to get engaged or whatever before physical contact occurs.
If your daughter is living there temporarily, she should be able to restrain herself from sex while she lives there. If its a problem, maybe she should get her own place.
Hope that clarifies things a little. IMHO.
2007-02-16 00:18:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it doesnt come down to whether or not you should let them or not ..It becomes a matter of the respect that your daughter has for her own privacy.But if she's feel like thats cool I would have to say no!!
2007-02-16 00:16:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋