Do you regret having your children?

Question

I have met many parents who have confided in me that they regret their children and secretly hate them. I have been shocked. It makes me feel very sorry for the child. And I can't imagine feeling that way. And if I did, I would probably never say it, least of all to someone like me who shouldn't really know that kind of business. But it seems to be common. I am wondering this because I am thinking of having children, but I don't want to be someone who regrets them. What do you think? Do you regret your children? Thanks.

Thats another thing, I have had people say, Don't ever have children, among other things which have scared me.

Answer 1

Wow, that's crazy. I don't understand why a parent would say something like that. I have absoulutly no regrets about having my daughter and for someone to say that about thier child angers me. If they regret having children so much, I know a lot of wonderful people who really want children and for whatever reason can't have them, put them up for adoption and let these people adopt them.

Answer 2

Never! I love my children and can't imagine not having them.

Admittedly I didn't have my first child until I was nearly 30 and my wife and I had seen and done a lot of things already. I'm not sure how I would feel if I had children when I was much younger. I can understand how someone may regret having children at a young age because the child tied them down and they weren't able to do things that they wanted to accomplish.

Heck, I'd have a lot more money if I didn't have kids! LOL I'd never trade them in though.

If you are looking for a piece of advice I'd just say this: children are a lifelong commitment. If you aren't sure, wait - especially if you are young.

Just your asking this question and thinking about it tells me you will do the right thing. Good luck.

Answer 3

Not for a second. Yes there are days when all I want is a moment of peace & quiet or even to be able to go to the bathroom by myself but all I have to do is look at that little guy & I know my life is compleat with him in it.
My cousins wife had a really bad spell of depression and told her hubby & kids she hated them and that she never wanted them. Yes she actually told them this. After getting treatment she is still repairing the damage she did and that was 5 years ago. I still can't believe that she said that to the kids. It broke my heart.
All I can say that once you have kids your entire universe will change. Your outlook on life, your friends, your inner self will transform into this creature we call "Mom". All you can do is love your kids and the rest will fall into place.
I think people who have kids too early in life end up regretting the things they didn't do before the kids came along. This is why I waited until I was in my mid-30's to have a baby. I was able to sew my wild oats, travel, find my self in the working world, get semi-established, be crazy and most of the things I wanted to while I was young enough to enjoy them. Kids are a HUGE responsiblity and if you aren't ready mentally you may end up regretting them.
Take your time & deeply consider your deepest thoughts.

Answer 4

I don't regret my children, although there are days when I do miss the time before kids. And dh and I were greatly looking forward to retirement and everyone being gone.

Now we have a severely disabled child whom will live with us until *we* die, so we're are just hoping that some of the other kids will be willing to let her spend the night a few weekends a year so we can go traveling and such. Good news is that most parents will never have to face that.

Answer 5

Not one day. I had my first child when I was very young. The I turn around to have 2 more, before I was 21. Not for one minute do I ever regret having them. I have had financial devestation, I have had children's father leave. I have had terrible days at work, and I raise home to get to my children. They always have something funny to say or do. They will put a smile on your face to make you want to do better in life to offer them better. Those people you are talking to allowed their children to be spoiled brat that no one likes let alone them. These are the same people who don't teach their children the value of life or morals, and wonder what's wrong with them.

Answer 6

No i do not regret having my son at all. My husband and i tried to get pregnant for almost a year with him and i haven't nor will i ever regret him.

If i had one doubt that i did not want to have any kids i would have not gotten pregnant in the first place.
As for a second child i cannot make up my mind if i want another one or not. I am not saying i would regret it i am saying i am scared to because i had a tough pregnancy with my son and also had a miscarriage last year so that is why i am IFFY about another one.

Answer 7

And we wonder why kids seem to get in so much trouble today. Too many parents are viewing them as an obligation and not a privilege.

I will never regret my son. He makes my world go 'round. He was a gift from God that I am thankful for every single day.

Answer 8

Absolutely not. I will never regret having my daughter. It wasn't her choice to be born, it was between her mother and me, so how could my daughter be at fault? And incidentally, there's such a thing as an unplanned pregnancy, but no parent should EVER call their child a mistake. That's a horrible thing to say to a child.

You seem to have a very bright outlook on parenting, and I'm sure you'll make a wonderful mother.

Answer 9

No way no how. My son is my little piece of immortality. A part of me will live on through him. Don't get me wrong - the little nugget can make me absolutely crazy some days, but he's only a year and a half old. That's what he is supposed to do! =)
Do I miss being single and unencumbered sometimes? Oh, absolutely. That's normal and part of parenting. I think back to how simple my life was before I got married and had a child (and of course, my husband IS my oldest child..LOL) - and then I look over at my son who spontaneously decides to give me a bear hug and I chuckle to myself. I wouldn't change a thing. He is a joy and a wonder to me and I like to think that he is the best part of me and the best part of my husband.

Answer 10

I wouldnt be too freaked out. I dont have kids and many many moms have said the same thing to me BUT they were the moms that werent really the maternal type to begin w. Most of them didnt really want kids but kind of got bullied into it by family or thier husbands(or got pregnant by accident), and a few are real career women who had kids because "thats what your supposed to do".
I think if you really want them that makes all the difference so if that is the case w you dont worry about it and focus on the more positive moms!