My mother left about 4 years ago without a word she is now back and has contacted me she wants our relatoinship to be as it was . But I cant help feeling that by speaking to her i am betraying my father. They had an very abusive relationship and my mother was on the receiving end . Thats why she left. I understand her but i dont no how to feel?
2007-02-15 23:25:54 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mother is not just your mother, she's a woman who probably had some hard decisions to make and who knows maybe she has some regrets. Be open with her about your need to take it slow to get to know her. Be her friend first and foremost - she probably needs you more than you realise. Don't worry about your Dad just concentrate on getting to know your mum again. They are both your friends as well as the people who created you.
And go talk to someone who can help you not feel guilt etc. Its a huge thing to have your Mum walk away - lots of abandoment issues to deal with and it won't heal overnight.
2007-02-15 23:46:24 · answer #1 · answered by lostmesheep 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you won't betray your father. She's your mother, it's your undeniable right to have a good relationship with her. Actually, I think it'll be great if this can be achieved.
And since you say your mom was abused by your father, then it's understandable she left. She should have kept in touch with you during this years, but maybe she was kinda upset and emotionally stressed. I strongly recommend you reconnect your realtionship with your mom. And NO, not at all! You won't be betraying your father
2007-02-16 08:04:24 · answer #2 · answered by Steiner 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok to me this isnt about betraying your father. This is about your own feelings. I tell you what if my mother walked out for four years with no words. Then just showed back up i would tell her to take a hike. But my real dad did that to me too. I would make her work for your heart back!
Shes your mommy Moms are god in the eyes of a child. If she loved you she wouldnt have left you!
2007-02-16 07:30:35 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Put yourself in her shoes. Accept her back. Your father is the one that was in the wrong. Your mother had to get herself out of a BAD situation.
But she's back now. She's your MOM...accept her back. Don't worry about feeling like you're betraying your father. You're not betraying him. What he did to her was terrible. If anything, you're betraying your mother if you don't accept her.
2007-02-16 07:58:42 · answer #4 · answered by Marmylade 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What's your dad going to do? Kick your a s s if you talk to your own mother? Give me a break! Do me a favor, when you get older, beat the daylights out of your dad for beating on a woman. Tell him, "I'm a man, hit me!!"
2007-02-16 07:32:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would sit down and have a chat to her and ask her where she has been and why she hasn't been in contact with you and as for betraying your father it was his fault she left so why should you feel guilty x
2007-02-16 07:40:01 · answer #6 · answered by andrea.barrett36 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You a man or a mouse. You are really scared of getting a kick in your pants from your Papa. Be true to yourself. Go meet your Mama she would not be calling you unless she needs you.
2007-02-16 08:24:58 · answer #7 · answered by Papillon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being judge-mental, she needs you ,she called you, go meet her.
Answering your mother's call is not a betrayal to your father. Are you afraid of your father or what ?
2007-02-16 08:18:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
truthfully i'd jst take her back i mean if you ignore her its like your dads still beating her cause she feels like he trained you not to love her so just say hey youre my mom but since you left i cant feel as close as we once were so lets just hang out more and try to get to know another better cause since youve been gone ive changed and feel you might have as well
2007-02-17 03:33:39 · answer #9 · answered by oledaveyboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you only have one mother...she is human and makes mistakes too...you and her have a second chance and many people dont get that opprotunity. take it!
2007-02-16 16:00:30 · answer #10 · answered by buffywaldie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋